American judicial system favors women in child custody cases.

[youhemmein]

I've been doing some reading about the occurrence of judicial unfairness in custody battles. I'm appalled by some of the numbers I've been reading. My bf is currently involved in a child-support/custody battle (He has been paying child support willingly every week since the day her cheating ass left him, though she has not lifted a finger to make her situation better), and we have been talking about how the courts generally favor the mother in most cases. It isn't right. And the resources available to women during these cases are above and beyond those available to fathers.

Check out some of these stats:

• According to the U.S. Census Current Population Report on Custodial Mothers and Fathers and their Child Support:
  
  - About 5 of every 6 custodial parents were mothers (84.4 percent) and 1 in 6 were fathers (15.6 percent), proportions statistically unchanged since 1994
  ​
• According to a 1999 report of the Department of Health and Human Services:
  
  -Girls without a father in their life are two and a half times as likely to get pregnant and 53 percent more likely to commit suicide.
  
  
  -Boys without a father in their life are 63 percent more likely to run away and 37 percent more likely to abuse drugs.
  
  
  -Both girls and boys are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to end up in jail and nearly four times as likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems.
  
  
  ​
• In 2003, 20,952 entries for divorce were filed in Massachusetts courts.
• According to the Census Bureau's 2002 Survey of Women and Men in the United States:
  
  -Men were more likely than women never to have been married (32 percent and 25 percent, respectively).
  
  
  -Women were more likely than men to be divorced or separated (13 percent compared with 10 percent), and much more likely to be widowed (10 percent compared with 3 percent).
  ​

• 75 percent of custodial mothers move at least once within four years after separation or divorce, according to the Senate Committee on Judiciary, Report on Family Law: Relocation of Custodial Parents.
• The following are recent statistics about children of divorce and separation from the newsletter Common Sense & Domestic Violence, 1998 01 30
  
  Allegations of family violence are the weapon-of-choice in divorce strategies. Lawyers, and paralegals in women's shelters, call them "The Silver Bullet". False abuse allegations work effectively in removing men from their families. The impact that the removal of fathers has on our children is horrific.
  
  The Impact on our Children Inter-spousal violence perpetrated by men is only a small aspect of family violence. False abuse allegations are only a small tile in the mosaic of vilifying the men in our society. They serve well in successful attempts to remove fathers from the lives of our children.
  
  Here are some statistics resulting from that, which show more of the whole picture.

 

[Faye]

Having kids with a woman and then having her cheat and divorce me is a nightmare (especially if she lies about abuse). I absolutely never want that to happen. You are right that the courts favor the mothers, but also, a major cause of poverty in the US is from women who recently divorced, so it is not unjustified that financial incentives are slanted so heavily against men.

The sad reality I think is that marriages are just as much of a business contract as they are a binding of souls. That being said, I feel like people should be responsible enough to attend to both aspects of the marriage before committing to it so that they don't end up in such a situation (both the financial side and the personal side). People suck though, and it just makes it hard to trust anyone.

 

[InvisibleJim]

What are your thoughts?

Simple, as I've voice before: Don't get married; don't have kids (if you are male).

I also refuse to pay for other peoples kids; thus, as is happened in the past if a single mum tries to be too cosy with me I just say 'no'.

 

[Sriracha]

People realize that after they divorce, marriage was nothing but a financial transaction. I do find all the statistics provided interesting, but I would be more interested in seeing more current data. The reason is because there have been more laws put into place that would have affected the overall outcome of the welfare numbers (due to the Welfare Reform Act of 1996). This is a good article: http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-07-17-welfare-reform-cover_x.htm

The only reason I bring that up is b/c it does have an impact on child custody/support issues. Often times there is not a consistency in Superior Courts from state to state and even county to county. Really, I believe it relies on the presiding judge and whether they are acting in the child's best interest (and that both parties are represented by competent attorneys.) In my county, during a contested divorce involving children the county will appoint a Guardian Ad Litem who represents the child's interest. I am very fond of the Superior and Juvenile Court Judges where I live. I do find that they grant equal opportunity to each parent.

As far as child custody/support goes, what is the current problem and what would he like?

 

[youhemmein]

As far as child custody/support goes, what is the current problem and what would he like?

The situation is that he split up with his wife two years ago after catching her with another man, and he has been willingly paying child support weekly since before she moved out of the house. She has their son 4 nights a week, and we have him 3. She applied for food stamps, and saw this as an opportunity to claim that he has not been paying child support. She lied on her financial affidavit in almost every way possible.

He wants to have full custody, but that would mean that I would have to quit my job to take care of him, or find one that is extremely flexible with availability. I have no problem doing this, as he makes enough money for us to survive, though it would be slightly uncomfortable. She is an unfit parent in that she does not care about his education or health, and it is blatantly obvious. She dropped out of school at a young age, and refuses to get a GED or in any way make her life or financial situation better than it is. She won't even look for a better job. We know that the best interest of the child lies with us, and she just wants someone to pay her rent. He offered to take full custody immediately, but she refused.

Now they will have to go to court and fight it out, but I'm extremely worried that the judge will favor her because she is the mother. My research has led me to believe this is hopeless. Sigh.

 

[Sriracha]

The situation is that he split up with his wife two years ago after catching her with another man, and he has been willingly paying child support weekly since before she moved out of the house. She has their son 4 nights a week, and we have him 3. She applied for food stamps, and saw this as an opportunity to claim that he has not been paying child support. She lied on her financial affidavit in almost every way possible.

He wants to have full custody, but that would mean that I would have to quit my job to take care of him, or find one that is extremely flexible with availability. I have no problem doing this, as he makes enough money for us to survive, though it would be slightly uncomfortable. She is an unfit parent in that she does not care about his education or health, and it is blatantly obvious. She dropped out of school at a young age, and refuses to get a GED or in any way make her life or financial situation better than it is. She won't even look for a better job. We know that the best interest of the child lies with us, and she just wants someone to pay her rent. He offered to take full custody immediately, but she refused.

Now they will have to go to court and fight it out, but I'm extremely worried that the judge will favor her because she is the mother. My research has led me to believe this is hopeless. Sigh.

I honestly do not find it hopeless at all. If what you are telling me is totally true and I was a judge, I would favor the child living with the father over his mother. My suggestion would be to gather what ever information you can that "highlights" why your boyfriend would be the better parent. Think outside the box. I hope he has a good family law attorney.

Things you should research:

1. legitimization
2. whether your status as a "live-in girlfriend" can affect the outcome

 

[AzulSoul]

I see this as a great injustice, and in fact I'm currently carrying out research on the effect of divorce on children. The law needs to be more considerate of the children - the mother should not get custody of the children by default. Instead the parents ability to raise children should be evaluated based on the evidence presented to the judge. The only problem with this is that it becomes difficult for the judge to justify his decision as it will inevitable be subjective....

 

[Sriracha]

I honestly do not find it hopeless at all. If what you are telling me is totally true and I was a judge, I would favor the child living with the father over his mother. My suggestion would be to gather what ever information you can that "highlights" why your boyfriend would be the better parent. Think outside the box. I hope he has a good family law attorney.

Things you should research:

1. legitimization
2. whether your status as a "live-in girlfriend" can affect the outcome

[MENTION=5969]alerwaype[/MENTION],

Explain why you gave me a thumbs down on this post.

 

[arbygil]

I think [MENTION=5969]alerwaype[/MENTION] is a trollkin. No rhyme, no reason; just attention.

 

[youhemmein]

I think @alerwaype is a trollkin. No rhyme, no reason; just attention.

No kidding. Just got a thumbs-down on a post from 3 years ago on a quiz thread of all things...there weren't even any opinions in it. WTF?