Do you share your relationships with other people?

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Gaze

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MBTI
INFPishy
Do you share your relationships with other people?


Are relationships a public concept or do you keep it to yourself?


Do you actively incorporate your relationship with other relationships in your life, including family and friends, or do you keep it separate?


When is a relationship too public or too private?
 
when i was in a relationship before i needed it to be very public and i needed it to be displayed very openly and proudly by my partner in order to feel that i was valued. but at this point i think i wouldn't care about that. it's no longer my way of deciding whether someone values me. i'm not the kind of person to actively hide my relationship at all i just don't care whether or not casual acquaintances and colleagues know. i don't think it's really that much of their business and if they are dying to know they should get a life of their own. i don't think it's that polite to directly ask someone what their relationship status is. if they want that level of friendly intimacy with you they will spontaneously tell you. i would probably mention it at work if i was in a relationship and the people i told would probably tell other people. but whatever, it doesn't matter to me that much.

i think people should feel open and comfortable to reveal they are in a relationship if that's what they want to do but i don't really enjoy seeing people always touching each other and kissing and stuff, i think it's rude to be expected to watch that.

also i like to have friends time as separate from relationship time. i want my friends to like my boyfriend as much as possible and to be able to invite him to their events or whatever as we are a couple but i think it's healthy to have an identity that is separate from the relationship too. and i know that sometimes friends who are single find it hard when they are suddenly always expected to see their friend in the company of his or her partner.
 
If I feel that it is a serious relationship, or has the potential to be serious, then yes I do share it with people I know. Not in the sense that I give people unnecessary details, but that I'll introduce the person as my significant other.

I feel that by letting someone into your "inner" life you show that you value the relationship, and for me that's a big part of the early stages.
 
mf said:
If I feel that it is a serious relationship, or has the potential to be serious, then yes I do share it with people I know. Not in the sense that I give people unnecessary details, but that I'll introduce the person as my significant other.

I feel that by letting someone into your "inner" life you show that you value the relationship, and for me that's a big part of the early stages.
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it's interesting to me that you say this. i think it's more a part of the middle stages for me, after i have gotten to know them a bit better through stable dating that has been agreed upon as exclusive, and we've slept together a lot.
 
invisible said:
it's interesting to me that you say this. i think it's more a part of the middle stages for me, after i have gotten to know them a bit better through stable dating that has been agreed upon as exclusive, and we've slept together a lot.
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I generally don't get into relationships unless I think it's heading somewhere. I generally will introduce them to the family within a month, and the friends sooner, but given my track record of very few relationships, I generally do actually think that the relationship may be headed somewhere. I've had a number of opportunities, but I can count all of my relationships on one hand with a few fingers to spare.
 
I'm not one to exactly stand on a roof and shout my relationship status to the world. However, I do tell people who ask, and will go somewhat out of my way to tell my friends. Also, I do subtle things, like wearing my claddagh with the heart pointing in. Telling my family is somewhat more complicated, as my parents aren't exactly the most understanding of people (here, my sister is counted among my friends). I wouldn't consider my relationship to be either necessarily public nor private, but simply an aspect of myself and my social atmosphere. Generally I am open with these sorts of things, so my relationship is somewhat public with everything else. As for incorporation, I would consider my boyfriend to be my best friend, and so some degree of integration seems natural. However, with my present long distance relationship, doing this isn't the easiest thing in the world, but I would be open to it, given the opportunity.
 
mf said:
If I feel that it is a serious relationship, or has the potential to be serious, then yes I do share it with people I know. Not in the sense that I give people unnecessary details, but that I'll introduce the person as my significant other.

I feel that by letting someone into your "inner" life you show that you value the relationship, and for me that's a big part of the early stages.
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I'm with this.
 
If I can share a relationship I do, especially if the parties share a common interest of some sort. All of my friendships are fairly casual, so sharing isn't much of a problem.
 
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Haven't been in one yet, but I think I would keep it to myself at first. As soon as it was starting to establish itself, though, I would tell close friends and family. Everyone else can figure it out at their own speed; I'm not the type to rub things in people's faces, and it is obnoxious when your friends are so caught up in their significant other that they'll stop talking to you mid-sentence when their partner appears, just so that they can engage in gooeyness for the next three minutes. lol I'm not unsympathetic, but that's just rude...

Of course, cliquish girls tend to do that too. :P
 
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NuthatchXi said:
Haven't been in one yet, but I think I would keep it to myself at first. As soon as it was starting to establish itself, though, I would tell close friends and family. Everyone else can figure it out at their own speed; I'm not the type to rub things in people's faces, and it is obnoxious when your friends are so caught up in their significant other that they'll stop talking to you mid-sentence when their partner appears, just so that they can engage in gooeyness for the next three minutes. lol I'm not unsympathetic, but that's just rude...

Of course, cliquish girls tend to do that too. :P
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Yeah, I get a little annoyed at girlfriends (female best friends) when they become a little inconsiderate of everyone else when they're SOs are around. I mean, of course, you're going to want to stay close to your SO, when you're with them, but some things need to be left to when you're alone with them, not when you're out in public. I honestly, don't enjoy being out with friends and their SOs, unless they're respectful enough of their friends.
 
I am a private person by default. I don't really share details just to share them, but if the topic comes up, I will divulge.

Separation of Relationships
I usually only have 1 or 2 significant relationships in my life at any given time. I am more open in my significant relationships, although I am not sure how open I am compared to others. I usually only share intimate details with those that I trust very highly. I can be pretty selective in that aspect, I guess.

Historically, I have been fairly private towards family.

Public vs Private
I usually let the relationship take its own course, I don't really try to control it or constrain it. However, I don't know that I could be in a relationship with a constant gossiper. I think relationships demand respect; sharing personal details without consent of the significant other can, and usually does, lead to some major issues. The exception is when someone truly needs advice or help from outside the relationship and the details are essential to getting that help. In cases like that, the cause is to better of the relationship even if the other party would not approve. But that person providing the help shouldn't betray the trust by gossiping.

Exploitation
There is definitely one exploit with the whole advice thing though. Sometimes a passive aggressive can present a facade asking for advice and instead give these details to a friend in a biased manner and seek validation for something they did or are planning to do.

So, with that in mind, I don't demand privacy. I demand respect, and I will give the same in return.
 
I go for private. Very private. Borderline secretive....nah, just kidding, uh yea, going on...

You get involved with me and you will have a ton of people who are considered family that you will be introduced to in a short amount of time..Natives aren't too keen on separating out family by blood only. However, if you aren't considered family, I probably won't introduce or announce you to others. If you can't get along with those that I love, it won't work out and I tend to want to find that out early and like MF consider is something to do in the early stages. If you meet my family, I am serious about you.

I think some SO have had a bit of culture shock when they have made the leap because I have lots of mom's other than my biological and they are just as curious as any mom and sometimes twice as ruthless asking questions.
 
Utmost privacy is actually one of my core rules in maintaining a serious relationship. Me and my partner both agree on keeping our relationship private. We may talk about some aspects of it to other people but we never share important aspects of our relationship; unless we absolutely trust them. The purpose is for few reasons:

- everyone has an opinion. friends and family mean well but they are not in the relationship with the person you are with. Hence i found from past experience that even though friends and family mean well; they often judge and wants to tell you "who" or "what" type of person you should be having a relationship with. Opinion and thoughts of others sometimes does damage to relationships if one partner starts to believe others views and perspectives.

- also the issue of envy and jealousy. Most friends and family won't admit it but we always have friends and family who is unlucky in love and when they see other people happy in relationships; they often feel envious and somewhat jealous.

-and lastly gossip. my friends and my boyfriends friends are pretty large group of people and people talk. i don't need to hear from a friend's friend on tiny details of my relationship and hearing their opinions on it.

But all in all, every relationship is unique and i work to protect that uniqueness in sharing that with only one person and that is my partner.
 
Good point Solongotgon. I considered it from the perspective of "do you tell other's you are involved" rather than a "do you tell others about what's going on".

I think it is important to leave the inner workings of a relationship between just the two people involved. I try to keep stuff very private because it can become way to hard to handle a relationship when everybody gets to say their piece.
 
I am quite private when it comes to relationships. I like to tell people that I am taken when asked, but I don't go into the details.

The only time I go into details is when I am worried about something to a trusted friend, and I divulge details specific to the situation I am worried about only.

Otherwise, I am quite the private person in many aspects, including relationships.
 
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