ENTP Frustrations

[QuietlyBrilliant]

Hi,

I met this great ENTP guy about a month or so now and have been casually seeing each other since. We've only been on one date but have been back to each others around 6 or 7 times and we genuinely get on really well.

We couldn't be more different though, I always want to know where it's going and how he's feeling but don't want to address it or ask him about it because he's so chilled and laid back that I wouldn't want him to think I'm being annoying or clingy.

I could potentially see a relationship in our future but he's just so laid back I don't think he's ever going to do anything about it. Surely if he wanted a relationship he would ask to meet up again or something?

We did have brief chat about us one night and he said something like 'we get on really well when we're together don't we? We're just having fun'.

He's also really bad at texting - doesn't really text much and when we do, he doesn't reply for hours. He's told me he's bad at texting and prefers face to face which I can see because when we are together, he's very touchy feely and affectionate - completely different to how he acts via texting etc.

Feel like I'm driving myself crazy trying to work out what he's thinking all the time. Has anyone else had this problem?

Any honest help appreciated

 

[Eventhorizon]

Let me ask you why is it important for you to know what he is feeling?

I could give you some insight and tell you that not everyone is the same. As an example if it were me it would be stunningly simple. Most of the time I dont really feel anything I know of. Most of the time the feelings I recognize I have generally happen when someone cuts me off while driving etc.. annoyance. If lucky enough to be in a relationship where the two of you get along, the guy probably just feels content and perhaps happier than normal.

Maybe what hes feeling isnt as important as what hes thinking.

 

[Erlian]

Feel like I'm driving myself crazy trying to work out what he's thinking all the time. Has anyone else had this problem?

All the time! :/

I've been trying to learn how to accept uncertainty. To embrace uncertainty. It's not easy..

 

[WildatHeart]

Hi,

I met this great ENTP guy about a month or so now and have been casually seeing each other since. We've only been on one date but have been back to each others around 6 or 7 times and we genuinely get on really well.

We couldn't be more different though, I always want to know where it's going and how he's feeling but don't want to address it or ask him about it because he's so chilled and laid back that I wouldn't want him to think I'm being annoying or clingy.

I could potentially see a relationship in our future but he's just so laid back I don't think he's ever going to do anything about it. Surely if he wanted a relationship he would ask to meet up again or something?

We did have brief chat about us one night and he said something like 'we get on really well when we're together don't we? We're just having fun'.

He's also really bad at texting - doesn't really text much and when we do, he doesn't reply for hours. He's told me he's bad at texting and prefers face to face which I can see because when we are together, he's very touchy feely and affectionate - completely different to how he acts via texting etc.

Feel like I'm driving myself crazy trying to work out what he's thinking all the time. Has anyone else had this problem?

Any honest help appreciated

I would interpret it as he is interested and likes you; however he is not into you, YET. If ENTP is seriously into you, you would know. At least that’s my experience. I can play around, flirt, keep smbd in mind, but if I'm into you I'll go and get you. It would be quite obvious. I will make an effort and fight for your affection, I'll go through fire and water to get you When I fall for someone, I go all in. And I'm a female, male ENTP must be even more inclined to do that.

However when that is said, I can fall for someone after a while, after I get to know a person. That happened to me once with an INFJ fellow, whom I found interesting and weird at first, but after a year or so of friendship and hanging around I fell for him.

So if your ENTP hasn’t fallen for you fast, it may take a while before he does, and when he does then he sure will tell you So if you have a good feeling about him (and as an INFJ you must have a very good and trustworthy gut feeling, so trust it!) don't give up, it sure is a possibility

 

[sassafras]

I could potentially see a relationship in our future but he's just so laid back I don't think he's ever going to do anything about it. Surely if he wanted a relationship he would ask to meet up again or something?

Yes, he would.

We did have brief chat about us one night and he said something like 'we get on really well when we're together don't we? We're just having fun'.

Seems he already clarified his intentions here.

He's also really bad at texting - doesn't really text much and when we do, he doesn't reply for hours. He's told me he's bad at texting and prefers face to face which I can see because when we are together, he's very touchy feely and affectionate - completely different to how he acts via texting etc.

Well, I can tell you that I am exactly the same way and share the philosophy about preferring face to face over texting; it doesn't really matter if I like the person or not. When it comes to texting, I neglect everyone equally.

Mind you, he is not me. Depending on his texting style, it might mean the exact opposite.

As for being physically affectionate, that doesn't really have to mean anything. Personally, I think if someone said they just wanted to have 'fun' and the other person didn't object, I would think they'd take that as an open license to get cuddly.

Feel like I'm driving myself crazy trying to work out what he's thinking all the time. Has anyone else had this problem?

Any honest help appreciated

You're interested in a guarantee that you guys are heading towards a relationship. He's just feeling things out and having a good time; if it happens, cool, if it doesn't, that's also cool. Whether or not he's going to change his mind, or what he's thinking, none of us are mind-readers, unfortunately.

The way I see it, you have two choices here:

1. Decide if you're comfortable with adopting his apparent point of view and allow yourself take things as they come as you get to know each other. It'll get rid of the anxiety to constantly measure what is on his mind or what's in store for you guys in the future.

2. Decide if you want a relationship with him and see if he's on the same page. If he is, great. If he isn't, well, it would seem your relationship interests aren't really compatible at this time.

Essentially, don't look at what he's thinking or what he wants before you make up your mind. Look at what you want and what you think and what you feel and go from there.