Extreme Fear of Being Known

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This was not about public speaking.
 
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I can relate. I think it may be Fe gone crazy? But I'm not sure.

You should show up tomorrow, and tell your teacher. Sometimes teachers are awesome at understanding things like that.

It's funny, I am the same when it comes to public speaking. I am a terrible public speaker. If I get past the fact that I am constantly aware of others and what they may think of me, I am an awesome public speaker. I've had to show up semi-drunk to school just to be able to disregard all that crap and get on with my presentation without sounding like a stuttering, babbling wreck.

You talk about being terrified. What exactly are you scared of?
For me, it is the constant flow of everyone else's possible opinions and how they may take my speech. Will they judge me? will they see how nervous i am and think less of me for it? So many things can happen, and not being in control is scary.

Over time, I have realized people don't really tend to think about stuff. You're just another person presenting. No judgement, no thought. Just a set of new words that they have to pretend to listen to. Maybe that's a comforting notion?

Please don't hate yourself for this. I am the same way, and I know I am doing my best. Doing your best is all you could ever do.
 
Its the disapproval from them I know my speech will cause, honestly.
 
I can either be really good at public speaking or really bad. Just depends on the day. You should go though and give 'em hell.
 
I've not written my speech, I'm too nervous as to what I know they are going to say, to even know where to start.


and i hate the tea party.
 
saru said:
I've not written my speech, I'm too nervous as to what I know they are going to say, to even know where to start.


and i hate the tea party.
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make a sarcastic one that you present in a sarcastic voice?
that way it'll be obvious?

are you allowed to switch topics?
 
No. We got this crazy J as a teacher, who made us pick one topic and have us stay with it throughout the entire semester.


Not really looking for advice mind you, I've made up my mind. I just wanted to know if anyone else felt the same.
 
Yeah .. always :(

I was asked to talk about an experience I had to my whole batch in school and the batch before us ... I wanted to cry because I didn't want to but it's a religious thing (the one I had to talk about) ... so I just went anyways. At first I was extremely shy and I wanted to hide my face :m162: and all that but I don't have a choice so because I showed up so when the commentator called my name:m196: (another thing I fear.. I just DON'T like people calling my name in public hehe... I just feel so known.. and my name is reallyyy unique so... if someone would know my name, and would search for example like facebook or twitter or whatever.. there's only one name like that..and it's mine...so I usually change my name bwahahaha) so anyways.... yeah she called my name and I had to stand up :m100: (ughh standing up while everyone was sitting down :( ) and I went to the front... I kept on stuttering when I first spoke but then.. I got comfortable and I just spoke my heart out and I cried.. hehe.... I had to share something PERSONAL .. and when I do.. I always cry.:m142:..but since I cried, I couldn't care anymore..so I just kept on talking :)


I cried IN PUBLIC that much :m040: :( <-- actually, I don't mind crying in public I just don't want them to know the REASON :)

So yeah I do have an extreme fear of being known :) I don't like standing out, though I like being different A LOT... I just don't like .... well I can't explain what I don't like :) hahaha...

I also don't post pictures of myself alone:m077:... hehehe whenever my friends post pictures of me in facebook or whatever site, I tell them not to tag me or if I can't tell them no to tag me, then:md:.... I have no choice :( . Also, i adjust my settings so that I would be unsearchable hehe :)

I really don't like to be looked at :m197:. Whenever I walk, I avoid people ALWAYS. I hate drawing attention.

I guess you should show up :) you'll get used to it once you're talking already. you'll get the flow of it. How about try going earlier than the others and just feel the place first, adjust to the environment so that you'll be more comfortable when it's time for you to talk :):m105:
 
I HATE it when people use my name. Even in love. It just, jarrs me.


A few days ago, I answered the phone for a Florida dentist.

The caller said "sam, you sound like a fucking faggot."

and hung up.

News reports indicate there are still after shocks reverberating through my aorta.
 
Is it possible to change topics? Also, maybe try what aerosol said and tell your teacher before class. I had the same issue and my teachers would often allow me to present it after school to them alone which helped a ton.

The best thing about presentation days is that almost everyone feels that way. Additionally, nobody will actually be listening to you and nobody will give a damn what you say. Essentially, they just don't care. I know it doesn't really help, but it IS the truth. You could always pretend you're on webcam, since it seems to loosen you up.

I hate topics that are relevant to who you are, too =/ in high school, I had to do one in front of 300+ people 5 times a year. It was honestly so stressful I have no memory of actually giving any speeches. I think my mind blocked it out to protect me. One time we were forced to do a presentation bragging about ourselves and why we're awesome. Seriously. It was awful.

As far as how you could present the topic, is there a way to detach yourself from it by tweaking the topic? Meaning like turn your topic into 'benefits of joining the tea party,' rather than why they should? Also, if the topic was assigned then you can make a slight joke out of it which would keep you impartial.
 
Well I just read that you'd made up your mind so never mind all that^
Don't be too hard on yourself. Even if you go to your teacher afterward and explain you just couldn't do it, he might have some mercy and let you submit the speech or something.

And yes, I always feel that way. Even talking in class from my seat makes my heart rate hit 220 and my hands tremble. Hate hate hate it.
 
[MENTION=3156]saru[/MENTION];
You won't overcome your issues by avoiding them. Do the stupid speech. Almost everyone hates public speaking so you will be on the same page as everybody else. Being in front of people can be scary. You are at the stage in your life where you are making choices on what kind of man you want to be--make your choices count. It is easy to do stuff that you aren't afraid of--much harder to face fears--the effort will pay off in how you feel about yourself and your ablity to get things done.
 
You don't care if you get a 0, really? What I'd be tempted to do is write a speech why you shouldn't join the tea party. I would be open an honest, and say you're against the tea party. And proceed with your speech. Or ask if you could pick another topic. I've done things similar things like the former before, I've gotten A's B's, but be prepared to get an F or 0 on it. I'm not really afraid to challenge a class or a teacher, but some will fail you for it. Or you can suck up your pride and talk about how great the tea party is like [MENTION=3096]Sonyab[/MENTION] suggested.
 
Can you make believe that you are acting in a play? Carroll O'Connor who played the bigoted "Archie Bunker" on TV was the opposite of his character in political beliefs. This kind of assignment is more a charade than anything else so you should try not to take it so seriously. Try to see it as a temporary ordeal you must get through so that you can get your degree. It's when you're out of school that the real learning happens.
 
donkeybals said:
You don't care if you get a 0, really? What I'd be tempted to do is write a speech why you shouldn't join the tea party.
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This is a great idea! Why don't you write a speech that is absurd? Try to persuade people to join the Tea Party using absurd arguments and humor
 
I quite enjoy sharing my beliefs with others. I would find it humorous to try to convince people to do something I don't value at all, because people who actually know the real me would disregard whatever bullshit I came up with.

Oh and public speaking doesn't really bother me, though I'd rather not do it.
 
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Guys, ummm. Not to be mean, but I didn't want advice.

facing my fears? I'll face harder things? These are in no way connected. I face my fears everyday, and I wasn't looking for a peptalk, nor a solution. I was providing an anecdote to see if there were other people who had extreme fear of NOT PUBLIC SPEAKING, but of being known. I can do public speaking just fine, provided its not about my personal beliefs.

I've also thought through all of the above posted scenarious and concluded them impossible. I'm not allowed to change subjects nor make it humorous in that sense.


I don't mean to come across harsh, hell, I don't need more people thinking I'm an Ne-Ti, but I didn't ask for advice, nor is that what this is for. I ended up not going, this is good. I now have more time to actually write the speech.'

And no, Donkeybals. I don't care if I get a 0 in one speech, in one english class, in a community college in redneck virginia.


Btw, it isn't pride. It may appear like pride, but it isn't. This is not to say I don't have pride, or I can't be prideful, it simply doesn't apply to this situation. I've challenged teachers before all the time, in papers etc. In Public Speaking class I mocked the american society and got a 100. But not only would this probably not work in this class, but I don't care enough about the assignment to be that... Idk the word I'm loooking for.


Again, "I'm not shutting anyone down," but this isn't an advice thread, this is a thread curious if anyone else had a fear NOT OF PUBLIC SPEAKING, but off being known in general.
 
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I don't think you're necessarily forcing your beliefs on others though, I mean, yes, you're telling them why they should join, but a lot of them aren't even going to care because they have already got their own political afiliations, and I think most people will be grown up enough to get that all you're doing is presenting them with the pros of joining the party.

you're not holding a gun to their heads and telling them to join or else, and as long as your speech doesn't sound like you'd like to be, then I think that aspect of your fear should be reconsidered.
 
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