Feeling disconnected...?

Myra

Myra

Three
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
type 4
Hey all,

I am in my second year of university. I find it challenging to make friends in class, or feel connected, especially since I've began full time classes which can be isolating with homework and such. Any similar experiences/ tips?
 
Go out of your way to start talking to people. Make yourself known, approachable, and communicative. If you wait for people to solely come to you nothing will come of it. Start talking, get phone numbers, go to parties, be social. The only thing you can honestly do is try, just do it.
 
Because the above is completely unrealistic for me and I assume other INFJ's to "just do" spontaneously and out of a whim, I suggest instead to join some clubs that are relevant to your interests and participate in club activities. This will give you some kind of "focus" to socializing and make things easier on you by being in a club with similar people/interests/ideals/etc. Plus it's more fun - you are actually doing stuff with others most of the time and are apart of groups (which I find much more enjoyable to be in than trying to hang-out one on one with someone I don't know well).

If you dorm, be open and participate to the things that go on in your dorms (card games, small parties, etc) and to not take your interactions too seriously.

The big thing IMO though is the clubs. People at the clubs you are apart of really become your easiest route to friendship and can open doors to making you more comfortable at interacting with others in university. The smaller the club the better though.
 
i usually just talk to people i come into contact with. i was very shy, i hated it and it took years of practice. i'm still practicing it. but when you do it more times it becomes easier. don't worry too much about expectations and making friends just have a small conversation and see if it goes anywhere.
"hi how are you going"
"what did you think of the readings this week"
"hi my name is invisible"
"are you having a good day?"
and sometimes feel less lonely just for having spoken to someone.
 
When you get those feelings of. "Damn...I should of done it that way, or, I should have said that" Those are the things you need to start changing and to work upon, don't beat yourself up about it. Take small approaches to improving your social life, I am not really a social person myself and I tend to stay away, I don't get a feeling of being lonely very easily. But when someone wants to talk to me, i'm always up for a lengthy conversation. Just makes the changes you feel you need to change, it's you that is in charge in the end anyways. Of your emotions that is.
 
Thinking about it again, actually it depends on what exactly your problem is.

I assume the others have got it right by the way you word your post, but the other half is that you have to compromise and stick with the groups you get into until you are comfortable with them and have gained a history to feel connected by. Depending on who you are, that may mean you'll have to stick with your current social situation until other opportunities arise. But in either case, taking initiative is key.
 
Thanks for your replies. I find a lot of benefit in volunteering, which is like a club. The obstacle is that I don't have enough time at this point in schooling. However it helps to make an effort, regardless of how "worth it" it may seem in the long run. Once I can get past my shy disposition people arent so bad :m111:
 
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