Feeling important.

the

the

Si master race.
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MBTI
ISTJ
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How do you make others feel important? What are some specific words and key phrases you use? Give examples, especially when It comes to making strangers feel important.
 
I think this is a great question!

I will have to think about it for awhile though and get back to you.
 
Doesn't take much specific words, just make sure they feel you're paying attention - like they're worth listening to and caring for.
 
Mhm I don't think it's anything specific you say.

Like Neuro said -- pay attention. Make eye contact, smile/nod at appropriate times, ask questions about what they are telling you.

Compliments -- and genuine ones, most people can see through bull shit.

Hmmm I'll think about it some more...
 
Wait, why do I have to make someone feel important as opposed to just treating them with the same respect I treat everyone else? Do you mean, kissing up to a superior or encouraging someone after a set back? What's the motivation here?
 
Neuro said:
Doesn't take much specific words, just make sure they feel you're paying attention - like they're worth listening to and caring for.
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But it can take the form of using words. What are some you've used?
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
Wait, why do I have to make someone feel important as opposed to just treating them with respect? Do you mean, kissing up to a superior or encouraging someone after a set back? What's the motivation here?
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You don't have to do anything, but if you have how did you do it? I not talking about flattery, I'm talking about making People feel important.
 
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the said:
You don't have to do anything, but if you have how did you do it?
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Coming at this from the intention of providing encouragement and assurance of significance, without being obvious, I'd probably make more of a point to ask them for their opinion or advice or call on them in a group discussion and give credit where credit is due. Otherwise, I don't think I'd treat them any differently.
 
the said:
But it can take the form of using words. What are some you've used?
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There aren't any specific words you can use in all situations, it varies... But as said, show that you pay attention. I find this to be easier done with body language - make eye contact, have an "open" posture, try not being too distracted about surroundings... Ask questions in response to their statements as if you want to know more, don't criticize or judge them openly them first thing you do, but make them explain their viewpoint and make them interested in continuing the conversation by sticking to subjects that interest them. Be the full-on listener, ready to absorb whatever they might have to offer and encourage them to give you more (without seeming pushy).
 
Treat them with reverence and awe, like the way you would act around a pastor. Pay a lot of attention to them and be enthusiastic about interacting with them. Treat them as if you look up to them; be all like "wow" or "I've never heard of that before" or "that's excellent" when they tell you stuff and ask questions like "isn't that difficult". Ask them things that would make them talk about themselves more. Be humble and confess to your flaws or vulnerabilities that this person seems to have overcome. Show concern for their comfort and wellbeing and act as if it is very important.

Do little things that will act on their psyche, like not making a decision until they give input, or making room for them when they walk by. Yield a lot.

This info brought to you by 19 years of dealing with the world as a stereotypically submissive Asian girl.
 
I wish you would all share stories. Please understand my istj handicap that I must have a specific story to understand.
 
make a point to say their name more than once while in conversation. not in an obvious way of course, but people feel important when someone uses their name out loud.
if you don't know their name, ask them and then repeat it soon afterward. sounds silly maybe but it does make a difference.
 
Lol. It would be easier if you gave the specific purpose you intend on using it for or what your motivation for asking is. Like do you have a target type of stranger and why?
 
niffer said:
Lol. It would be easier if you gave the specific purpose you intend on using it for or what your motivation for asking is. Like do you have a target type of stranger and why?
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I'm reading 'how to win friends and influence people' and I am trying to identify situations where I can apply these techniques. I know at least on person on this forum has stated that they make people feel important, which is what the second chapter is about. So I'd like to read some situations or specific scenarios to cement it in my mind. I know the obvious, general things that have been said already. I'm looking for specifics, or maybe something unusual thats worked for someone,
 
@ potential responders:

Can you please describe a time when you have made someone feel important in the past? What did you do? How did they respond? What was the outcome?

(I don't think it is so much that [MENTION=731]the[/MENTION] is looking for advice on how to make someone feel important, I think he is looking for examples of how others have done it, so that he can examine and decide for himself what might work best for him in a given situation. I could be wrong though...)

I'm fairly egocentric. I don't think I make people feel important. Or if I do, I don't know that I do.
 
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[MENTION=731]the[/MENTION], would you like someone to make you feel important? Are you feeling unimportant? Does it show? Alone?......................If I encounter a young lady crying because she was left by some guy, I see a need to try and build her up should the circumstances call for it. If I see a young man upset because some doctor told him he would never be able to move his fingers again, I go to work immediately. As an infj, I need a need.
 
Getting people involved, and actually seeing results.

Could also be as simple as asking a stranger on the street for directions or what time it is (and thanking them after).
 
"Hey, how's it going?" "That's good, that's great." "You would probably be good or great at . . . " "Nice." "You sound like you know what you're doing (or talking about)." "That's a good idea."
 
Baby, you have to be genuine. I wish I could think of some words for you, but all I can think of is taking the time to listen to someone and share in their experience. If I confide in them on a deep level, my fears, pain, hopes, etc. I think that nurtures a feeling that they are important in my life. Do you bake? I physically show my appreciation or I write a note or letter telling someone what their kindness has meant to me. I wish I could report that honest thoughtful feedback makes everyone feel important, but in my experience it just gives them something to pick apart.

I go back to the genuine thing. If I find out someone has used a generic line on me and induced false importance it is the ultimate betrayal and breeds distrust.
 
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