Had to do with my constant need to prove myself extroverted and emotionless.
(Kinda a result of my Chinese/Engineering upbringing).
I created this persona that I never was. Like 1v1 (as stated in the portrait) I was an INFJ, and had this personality that people loved because I genuinely cared about their problems. I was always a "background" leader.
But for the most part in high school I was more concerned with the idiocy that festers at that age. To be popular I convinced myself that I had to be extroverted and started being someone who I wasn't.
It got worse when I idolized psychopaths such as House, Ironman and Sheldon Cooper, emulating their arrogant need to be intellectually superior and ignorant of all social consequence.
Where I was successful, in that I was extremely popular, I never really made close friends because I was never around people I truly could get attuned to.
The inherent ability for us to identify genuine people and genuine relationships made me hate everyone around me, and I was wondering why I was friends with these people.
(Now in university I've met similar minded people who share similar goals/ideals/values. I've found my bestfriend and people I really trust with my life.)
Then university came. I realized that I was not happy with who I was. I was pretty much 100% fake at this point and realized that I can't go on in life like this.
I suffered never having a girlfriend, because it was obvious I had this problem.
I took the Karl-Jung exam and proved to myself that I am somebody different. That the caring side of me that always existed, that I've always tried to suppress is really who I am.
That I could really hate superficial social situations and was allowed to not attend them. (I used to force myself to go to parties, partially friends encouragement, partially to force myself to be social)
(The peer pressure is indicative of an INFJ, I care too much about other people's feelings, that I do things I dont' wanna do haha)
Once I had true confidence in who I was, I had the confidence to date a girl and I acknowledged to myself that I would be happier with a girl who loved me for who I was, than this fake persona I used to be.
We still have lots of problems (She's a "live life on the moment" girl who works at a dry cleaners, and I'm an engineering student) but now I have tools to understand what she really means, and it's helping me a lot. She's not a very confident person, so I have to take the reigns and build this relationship ground up because I really care about her.
(My mathematical -rollseyes- theory of love is that the strength of the love is dictated by how strong the match is OR how willing each partner is willing to compromise on their lifestyles to accommodate the other person. She is worth sacrificing some efficiency in my life to have her involved in my life) (I'm an engineer, so every aspect of my life is basically perfected lol, it's bad but it makes me extremely productive)
Though I am still an asshole, and I can be obnoxious at times, I'm still this person who creates very strong 1v1 relationships and my friends recognize that I genuinely care about them and reciprocate.
This also contributed to my confidence. Who I am gets me a girlfriend, happiness, true friends and confidence, where as before I had none of those.
>> This is all over the place, but I'm not exactly sober right now ;D
How did discovering your type give you more confidence in your identity? If you don't mind me asking.
