How to identify bad people

It's more about preventing other people's self destructive sides from having influence over you, and protecting your own destructive behaviors from others. Good self protectors are gooder people. Bad self protectors are badder people.
 
Wyote said:
It's more about preventing other people's self destructive sides from having influence over you, and protecting your own destructive behaviors from others.
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Certainly this is all more nuanced than "bad" and "good" people; I allow for complexity in individuals who aren't sociopathic or narcissistic. Heck, any "colorful" DSM IV Cluster B individuals are "all bad" (I know!) to me.

I'm not really talking about the negativity of an unstable person. I'm talking about people who are lacking in empathy or conscience. Even if they have "some."

Good self protectors are gooder people. Bad self protectors are badder people.
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My super simple yet huge brain <insert Trump emoticon> does not agree here, unless we have different ideas of "self-protectors."
 
I should clarify that I believe humans are not truly equal, at least in qualities generally seen as worthwhile and pro-social.

Ted Bundy =/= Umm, most people, really. Bad example.
 
Pin said:
Good people generally meet 3/4 of the following criteria:

-STEM degree or no college degree.
-Military or Private sector work experience.
-Majority of work experience in prior sectors.
-Weren't born wealthy.
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By these criteria, I just need 1 more and then I'll finally be a good person. Hurray. Joining the military is probably the most efficient route... :grin:
Seriously though, that's an interesting list Pin. What lead you to these conclusions? And what qualities that a good person holds should I extrapolate from this list? Hard working, independent, self made person?
 
Lurk said:
Seriously. Bad = :darthfreevader:

Anyone can act "nice." I am fooled so very easily. What tips you guys off?*




*more subtle than: punched me, emptied my bank account:witchy:
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1) For me trust people in stages, gradually

2)Watch how they treat others especially those who maybe "subordinates" or whom they have any control or power over

3) watch very closely how they treat people they don't like

In 2 and 3 you will see a glimpse of how they may potentially treat you. It's their actions not words that demonstrate who they are.
 
Lurk, by 'bad people', you mean people who present themselves as nice, but stab you in the back the first chance they get?

Very true James.
I would like to add:
  • Watch how they react to peer pressure.
  • Watch how they act when they think no-one is looking / think they can get away with something.
  • Watch how they respond if you politely, respectfully, call them out on their BS. (Cause we all have our own special flavors of BS.)
  • Watch what kind of company they keep.
 
Pin said:
Good people generally meet 3/4 of the following criteria:

-STEM degree or no college degree.
-Military or Private sector work experience.
-Majority of work experience in prior sectors.
-Weren't born wealthy.
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I think you are talking about Oprah.

The traits of the self-made man are more like stepping stones to success, American-style, that ultimately benefit the same self-made man in the end. I think of a gymnast who practices for hours and hours every day with his ultimate goal being to perform auto-fellatio with ease.
 
Lady Jolanda said:
Lurk, by 'bad people', you mean people who present themselves as nice, but stab you in the back the first chance they get?
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Yes, that and more.

Very true James.
I would like to add:
  • Watch how they react to peer pressure.
  • Watch how they act when they think no-one is looking / think they can get away with something.
  • Watch how they respond if you politely, respectfully, call them out on their BS. (Cause we all have our own special flavors of BS.)
  • Watch what kind of company they keep.
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I've always cut people a break if they play "Follow the Leader" because they have few-to-no social skills themselves. I keep my eye on the top dogs. They like human chess.

On principle, I've always insisted on judging the individual on his or her own merits when it's not stupid to do so. I don't know exactly where to draw the line.
 
A lot of the time, I don't even know. I may just feel uncomfortable around someone and be wary of them. Then, they will do something and I'll realize I must have picked up on some nonverbal or behavioral cue. I'm just going to give instances where I've noticed something was off, or things that raised flags.

The tip off may be people with bad boundaries; people who encroach my boundaries or others boundaries even if done in a kindly manner. I just see ulterior motives.

I'm very wary of extremely gushy people who give tons of compliments and seem to just love everyone. Very few like this are genuine in their affection. Many I've encountered seem to be the type to act like they hate conflict and disharmony so much it pains them, but then they either jump right into it, exacerbating it by picking sides or actually create drama where there really isn't any. I usually see these people as taking advantage of a group by exploiting any conflict or creating conflict to exploit the group to boost their own social standing. As @Lady Jolanda said, watch how they respond to being called on this.

And then people who laugh at others misfortune and suffering, or display little to no empathy.

Inconsistent people are suspicious to me. If your words do not align with your actions.

But then there are times when I don't pick up on things. These tend to be with the most dangerous types of people who can come off charming and moral. But looking back, there are always tells. And people do tell you who they are. And you have to really listen to that.
I just haven't always listened.

I think we all have our own issues. No one is totally good or bad... But I think obviously it's a good idea to be aware and avoid people who prey on others.
 
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Lady Jolanda said:
By these criteria, I just need 1 more and then I'll finally be a good person. Hurray. Joining the military is probably the most efficient route... :grin:
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I also recommend the police-force or becoming a firefighter. Anyone can become a hero.
Seriously though, that's an interesting list Pin. What lead you to these conclusions?
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Anecdotal experience and logical reasoning.
And what qualities that a good person holds should I extrapolate from this list? Hard working, independent, self made person?
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Those are precisely the qualities that I'm insinuating.
 
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