in-group & out group dynamics across type

Gaze

Gaze

Donor
MBTI
INFPishy
Whether work, home, school, social world, etc. we have interactions with different groups. We establish in group vs. out group differences. We welcome and we exclude, and I was curious how each type does this.

So, how does your type or other types you've observed irl handle in-group vs. out group membership or dynamics? Please give examples from your experience if you can.
 
In my experience most groups have one or two people who everyone sucks up to. Be in with that person and you'll be allowed to be part of the in group. Go against this person and they will turn everyone else against you. You need to identify these people asap. If I don't like that person, I move on. I will not pretend to like a douche just so they don't poison people against me. Not for long anyway. I will do it just long enough to keep the peace until I can escape. No longer.

This was very apparent at my last job. There was a girl dating the bosses son. I was popular until I had a minor disagreement with her. After that, everyone but one person turned on me. I could see her poisoning the well. Whispering and pointing. All but one person instantly bought what she was selling. They knew if they didn't, they would be next

Nearly all groups work like this. It sucks but its true. Learn to play the game or forever be outcast
 
I'm usually on my own. Years ago I worked a job where coworkers remarked months into it that they thought I couldn't speak because they had never heard me talk. (It was in the kitchen of a nursing home cleaning the dishroom when I was in college, so it didn't require much communication anyway.) I was just more focused on the work and figured if people wanted to talk to me, they would... Once people started talking to me, I made some lifelong friends there. I guess what I'm trying to say as that personally, I'm OK on my own. When I was a kid in school, I had my own little clique of friends, but I never thought it was exclusive. We let anyone in... even the muslim girl in gym class who looked terrified after 9/11... we were friendly to the dorks. We were only a step above the dorks in the social order anyway, haha! (Ah school days..)

I work from home, and every now and then, we have team meetings. I surprise myself with how social I can be, then... offering tips and assistance and inviting people out to lunch afterward. I have noticed this about myself: If I am around someone who is new or shy, I tend to become like an ENFP and am very gregarious and welcoming and trying to make people feel comfortable and involved. But if people are OK doing their own thing or aren't really interested in interacting with me, then I just keep to myself.
 
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What do you think, [MENTION=1669]Gist[/MENTION] ? As an INFP, is your experience similar to mine?
 
acd said:
I'm usually on my own. Years ago I worked a job where coworkers remarked months into it that they thought I couldn't speak because they had never heard me talk. (It was in the kitchen of a nursing home cleaning the dishroom when I was in college, so it didn't require much communication anyway.) I was just more focused on the work and figured if people wanted to talk to me, they would... Once people started talking to me, I made some lifelong friends there. I guess what I'm trying to say as that personally, I'm OK on my own. When I was a kid in school, I had my own little clique of friends, but I never thought it was exclusive. We let anyone in... even the muslim girl in gym class who looked terrified after 9/11... we were friendly to the dorks. We were only a step above the dorks in the social order anyway, haha! (Ah school days..)

I work from home, and every now and then, we have team meetings. I surprise myself with how social I can be, then... offering tips and assistance and inviting people out to lunch afterward. I have noticed this about myself: If I am around someone who is new or shy, I tend to become like an ENFP and am very gregarious and welcoming and trying to make people feel comfortable and involved. But if people are OK doing their own thing and aren't really interested in me, then I just keep to myself.
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This sounds like me. I was always the quiet one as well early on, but later figured out how to more easily settle in or avoid uncomfortable group situations.
 
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Poetic Justice said:
Learn to play the game or forever be outcast
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It's difficult to analyze group dynamics when you are a part of them but I have made some observations. If the recognized leader of my team is weak, I tend to take over and become very outgoing, lead without being obvious and work behind the scenes. I learn a lot about each person and usually gain loyalty this way. I have been the glue of almost every team and when I leave, they fall apart. I wish I could figure out a way to leave a team and have it move forward without me there but this is something I need to work on. So, I noticed that ESTJs and ESFJs usually take center stage but don't always have the knowledge or fortitude to lead well and can lose people through insensitivity. ISTJs and ENTPs I knew didn't tend to work all that well together in a team because the ISTJ was economical to a fault and the ENTP was all about being flashy with little substance. INTJs are really great but you cannot convince them of a damn thing, ever, unless they think they came up with it.

As an INFJ leader, I am observant and accepting because I lead by example and take really good care of my people. I always have a huge following at work but very few know me past the calm, witty intelligence I project as a professional. I like working with ENFPs because they are fun but they can drop the ball when you most need them. I have never worked with another INFJ but would be interested to see what that would be like.
 
In group I often have a shadow E self that comes out. At best, I can seem like an ENFJ, at worst it is embarrassing and odd as in people sense I am putting-on and inauthentic. I am more comfortable by myself because social anxiety is so excruciating for me even though I am often lonely. I think crave more one-on-one interactions, but that's hard to come by.
 
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PintoBean said:
In group I often have a shadow E self that comes out. At best, I can seem like an ENFJ, at worst it is embarrassing and odd as in people sense I am putting-on and inauthentic. I am more comfortable by myself because social anxiety is so excruciating for me even though I am often lonely. I think crave more one-on-one interactions, but that's hard to come by.
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We are pretty similar in this. I can also be really outgoing, but it is if I sense someone is shy or uncomfortable... Then I may go overboard trying to make them feel accepted. Usually though, I have social anxiety or just prefer to listen and observe rather than talk and be expressive. We make no sense!
 
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I look a lot smarter than I am so I fit in a lot of places I don't belong.
 
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