Infj minor obsessions

[Altruistic Muse]

Hi there. Long time no see! Like... Years. Ha, I've come back on here because I've noticed a pattern in my life and wonderf if others can relate. Usually at times when I'm perhaps feeling a little insecure about myself... Maybe in a new job or new phase of life... Ai tend to meet someone who I can look up to, and I tend to latch onto them. I used to wonder if it was a crush, but it's both sexes, and there's nothing sexual about it either.. It's craving a connection to someone, like a mentor figure. And I think about them often, and want them to think well of me... In work, or in whichever sense I respect them.

I would say in general I like to be liked, but I'm generally quite deadpan and indifferent also. If someone doesn't like me or think I'm good at something I don't tend to care. But with these people my heart sinks.

Can anyone relate?

I'm also now thinking it could be a spiritual issue too. Like as a Christian I suppose it tends to happen at times when I feel further from God?

I cover it up well and seem detached if anything. So I'm not worried about.that. I just wonder why it happens!

 

[Mungbean]

Yes! This happens to me also. Is this a common experience for INFJs in particular? I imagine this happens to some degree for everyone.

I am not sure why this happens either.

 

[Scientia]

I do this. I found that each time I do this, there is something important I need to learn from that person. I always come out of those mini obsessions with greater knowledge of myself. The age of the person is irrelevant. My problem is that when I do this, I become open to the other person and sometimes feel too vulnerable.

 

[Altruistic Muse]

Yeh, I think the first time I realised it wasn't what you'd call a crush, is when I had a mini obsession with my 80 year old hypnotherapist . I would agree that these are people you learn from and the sequence is important. But I do find it uncomfortable. I would much rather feel indifferent. I feel awkward and don't want to feel silly etc. Oh well ha. They pass as soon as they come.