ISTJ partner

[zsedftghj830]

Has anyone here been in a relationship with an ISTJ? For me, it’s emotionally draining to be with her… she is hyper logical and doesn’t read into situations at all nor does she see all the emotional subtext of interactions. Very emotionally invalidating. I have no close friends and I want to leave but she is the only person that is “close” to me so leaving would expose me to being very alone instead of just misunderstood. Idk, I could ramble forever; anyone have any input?

 

[Wyote]

If you've talked to her about it and attempted to reach a middle ground of some sort to no avail, then you've gotta get out.
I would try to involve yourself in some groups/clubs/communities first, to build some support systems.
Try to ensure you've worked with her on it a good amount in some honest genuine ways first. Communicate.
She may feel similarly about you, from the opposite end. Which could ultimately make a separation easier or a compromise fruitful.

 

[zsedftghj830]

Yes I’ve tried to talk at length with her about it. There’s just no common ground for relatability which makes ya wonder how I got into the relationship in the first place… I mean supposedly she agreed that we aren’t together but likes to still show affection like we are together which creates a war in my head but yeah, that’s a whole other story. She’s a good woman but I’m just driven crazy by her way of operating and like you said she probably feels the same but in a lot of ways she has very little insight into her own motivations

 

[Roses In The Vineyard]

I've had meltdowns from interacting with types like that and can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.

 

[zsedftghj830]

I've had meltdowns from interacting with types like that and can only imagine how difficult it must be for you.

Thank you for your kind words

The only way I’ve learned how to deal with it is by shutting down emotionally. Just not even allowing that side of myself to be expressed which in turn kills me but the opposite (expressing myself to her) ends up killing me too

 

[Roses In The Vineyard]

Thank you for your kind words

The only way I’ve learned how to deal with it is by shutting down emotionally. Just not even allowing that side of myself to be expressed which in turn kills me but the opposite (expressing myself to her) ends up killing me too

When this happens I get very uncomfortable around such and kinda panic inside a little. Really doesn't help between my own experiences and all the horror stories people post online like failed marriages because they ended up with emotionless cement blocks.