Looking back on life.

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I'm a Dragon! Rawr!
MBTI
INFJinity
I decided it was time to go onto Facebook and check out all of my old school friends (I sign onto facebook once every year at least) I havn't spoken to these friends in about 3 years. It reminded me just how left out I felt at school...All of them living their outdoor social lifes including partying, getting drunk, camping, getting drunk again, being outside, more friends joining, going out some more. Just things I could never think of doing in a million years, mainly all of my friends I associated with at school are E types, only 1 or 2 are I's now I am guessing, it just feels weird to be on a different path from my peers that I was with for so many years. I felt a bit of jealousy almost looking at the pictures of them having so much fun with their lifes. Then I got my emotions back in track and accepted it and I was happy once more.

I don't really know what im trying to achieve by typing all of this, but I might make this a thread I come back to and post some nostalgia moments or something, we will see what happens...Happy 100th post aswell. ^_^

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iX9NhZn-J9E"]YouTube - Drifting Universe[/ame]

Song and Video of the moment, venturing through the empty fullness of space, thinking about the leading on of life and continuing the path for fulfillment. Hoping for Earth to become a better place in the future. =/
 
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What a beautiful video!

I can't say that I do much looking back though over my old schools days. I remember when I graduated, I felt very happy to move on from that time in my life. Being in school always had me feeling so held back from the rest of life, and I longed to have little wandering adventures with my newly freed up time. The actual song/music, is very hypnotic, and reminds me of the Ni processes that I find myself in here and there when I get time and space to be on my own. It expresses it perfectly.

As far as peers went, I had a couple of close friends, but no one who I really deeply connected with at the end. I only have one friend from way back then on my facebook friends list, and I do enjoy the odd reconnection messages we share to keep eachother posted on our families. That's about it for me!
 
About a year ago, I joined Facebook and found many of the people I went to school with were on there. Touched base with a few. It was kinda cool at first.
After some time though, I found that feelings and insecurities I felt as a teenager were creeping back from deep within me.
I had to back off from it, and while I still check in, I try not to get too involved. Such as attending the get togethers for example.

I can't say I ever felt left out in school, or was a loner. But I think I can empathize with what you are saying.
 
I was quite a loner (despite being extroverted at a certain degree) during middle school. At high school, I was more.....loner and far more introverted.

I dunno. they are there; people I used to hang out at that time, people I still hang out with currently, with their activities and status updates (college college relationship college college hang out) and sometimes what goes inside was, "...meh, they're still trapped on the same circle."

Doubly ironic because it's not like I've been breaking the circle of my life or something. -A-. And I still feel a certain jealousy....they lead a seemingly happy path with so little to know about themselves and the world. (again, doubly ironic. But my ego needs its stroking, I suppose.)

Jealousy, but i don't think I want to reenter that phase.

Of course, haven't tasted college yet (except my cooking school phase and it's not even close). I wonder how well I'll fare.
 
I am always shocked at just how much time my old friends and acquaintances spend partying/drinking. I visit every once in a while, but over the 8 years since I had lived there, I just can't relate anymore.

Laughter is great though. Sometimes I think I am allergic to happiness.
 
MindYourHead said:
I can't say I ever felt left out in school, or was a loner. But I think I can empathize with what you are saying.
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I wasn't exactly a loner in school, but I definately felt like 1, I was a bit popular you could say, I had about 4 different groups of friends which I cycled through, I was much different back in school to what I am now though, but I do much prefer being the more introverted type, but i'd love the have the drive and 'confidence' to get out a bit more maybe, but I don't strive for it, only to experience it every now and then.

And thanks for all the replys so soon. (:

What makes you think all these people are really happy?
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Well...seeming as their life seems to be so much simpler, being happier for them does become easier. I am not saying they are absolutely content with their lifes, maybe if they let in more room for their emotions, and took the time to chillout they would be a lot more in touch with the world as a whole. I know a few people that are actually scared to let their thoughts take over their life, so they almost become workaholics and work their life away...I feel bad for these people...

Being in school always had me feeling so held back from the rest of life, and I longed to have little wandering adventures with my newly freed up time.
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Yeah...iv'e said this phrase ever since I left school, and no one ever understood what I was trying to say. It was a great feeling to walk out of those school gates for the final time, even on my last day, I only spent about 2 minutes saying bye to everyone and I was gone for good. I was finally going to have some me time for a decent period of time without any phone calls or door bells or distractions of any type.

"...meh, they're still trapped on the same circle."
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Aye, that's how I feel about my friends still, stuck in the same routine. I dropped every single friend now I had contact with during school, it ended up with them always calling me, It's always been this way, so I think they have gave up trying to keep socializing with me.


Thanks everyone for all the replys. (:
 
I heart Sigur Ros (the song).

I still have friends out partying and drinking. I mean there still young but I'm glad that its not me.
 
In high school, all of my friends were creative introverts. The six of us had our own little hexagonal table in the library where we'd do homework at lunch hour, read, they'd draw manga, I'd draw other stuff :), we'd get shushed for talking too much, too, actually. We weren't an exclusive group, but people didn't really make much of an effort to come and talk to us, so we were content the way we were. We had some really great conversations about a lot of geeky things, controversial things, deep things... It was nice. Imagine a small sampling of this forum, but in real life. We usually took the same kinds of classes, so we would often work together on projects. We all agree that a group like ours was probably pretty rare.

I don't talk to them much anymore; as we're often so reserved that we wait until somone else makes the first move as far as contacting eachother goes. When we do message eachother now and then, though, we make up for lost time with paragraphs of text. Some of them are into drinking, partying etc. which I don't do at all. A couple others just like to spend time alone, and then another two are far away in University, so I probably won't be seeing them anytime soon. We were never really very close per se (but maybe that's my INFJ-ness looking for the deepest possible relationship), but we got eachother through highschool.
 
More of my life is behind me at this point compared to what is probably ahead of me, and so I have lots of people and circumstances to look back on. My life has had very distinct epochs that did not really overlap...the only place where all these folks might bump into each other is on Facebook and that gets a little too weird even for me. Anyway...

I entered into the world of Christian faith in high school and me and my friends were roaming around in the Jesus Movement around 1972. It was a very interesting place to be. We were considered freaks...in many ways just like the other freaks around at the time, and were kinda respected for having enough courage to be outside the norm in our own way. I continued on with this direction, with many changes and modifications and reinventions, until the present day.

I say this only because the friends I have run with in all the various sections of my life were this type of person and so their value systems were based on a certain justice, proportion, and purpose, even though they were all very normal in their struggles, questions, searching...and general goofiness. Their deepest desires and mine always seemed closely related. There was little that was destructive. Not that we were totally insulated from it all...we just saw the trouble others were making for themselves and steered in another direction.

I seldom or never see these folks but I still treasure the sometimes brief (relatively speaking) and rich presence they had in my life. Because of this it has been a positive, building lifetime....I have few regrets and much to look back on with gratitude.
 
The most shocking thing I found from facebook (been on there about 3 years now) was when I reconnected with all my old college friends. Back in college I was in a sorority and we kind of had a rep for being the bad girls on campus. Most of my friends were constantly smoking weed, drinking, tripping on LSD/Shrooms, and having promiscuous sex. I was actually kind of a prude compared to most of my friends. While I drank and occasionally smoked weed I never tried any harder drugs and I stayed a virgin until I was 21. So, I go on facebook all these years later and 80% of these wild college friends are hardcore conservative Christian right wing republicans. WTF????
 
Whiskey said:
The most shocking thing I found from facebook (been on there about 3 years now) was when I reconnected with all my old college friends. Back in college I was in a sorority and we kind of had a rep for being the bad girls on campus. Most of my friends were constantly smoking weed, drinking, tripping on LSD/Shrooms, and having promiscuous sex. I was actually kind of a prude compared to most of my friends. While I drank and occasionally smoked weed I never tried any harder drugs and I stayed a virgin until I was 21. So, I go on facebook all these years later and 80% of these wild college friends are hardcore conservative Christian right wing republicans. WTF????
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People do change. Some people put on a big front for others, but some do change. I have seen specific individuals change for the worse, but they can change for the better also.

Had a best friend never "graduated" from drugs. Hep C got him, but he raised the funds through donors for a new liver. Died of Leukemia when all was said and done.

Facebook is the, well....one of the, most invasive programs written to date. Most everyone seems to like it, but I stepped away from it after less than two months. I never, ever visit it for a second.
"You should know this person" from "business" on the internet five or more years earlier from another continent?
That was when I said, "Time to go"; makes it too simple for someone to track you down and everyone you know.
Invasion of privacy to me, though I will admit to not knowing another person that sees it the way I do.
 
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