Middle age INFJ in need of emotional support

P

Prettyinpink

One
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
Thinker
I just broke up with a boyfriend of 3 years. I'm really lonely and I'm not very outgoing, so I don't meet many people. With the change in my life, I feel like, I need a hug and some friendly conversation. I just cannot stop crying because I don't understand why this happen... :(.
 
*hugs*

I'm awful with advice but I can understand the sadness and perhaps the void you must be feeling now that your relationship is over. It can be hard to figure out what to do next when you're in this situation and feeling this way. I am not outgoing myself and have difficulty meeting new people. What I've had to learn to do is to enjoy spending time by myself and going out and living life by myself. By doing that it seems that people naturally come into your life on their own- you do not have to seek them.

Anyway, I'm sorry for your heartache. You are going to be okay.
 
I have a best friend who had a boyfriend that she was going out on and off with for 8 years, even being engaged at one point. She just broke up with him because she didn't feel the emotional connection with him anymore. She started to see her relationship with him as simply an attachment that she didn't have the strength the break off.

If he isn't right for you, then it's a good thing that you realized now, instead of waiting another five years.
I understand how the post-break-up phase is like as well, feeling that empty space, both physically and in your heart.
It may not be so now, but it's going to be okay.

Have a :hug:
 
I have to agreed with [MENTION=2873]Serenity[/MENTION]. It's going to be alright, even when the light may seems so...far..away...

I wish there are quick fixes that are healthy enough for our psyches, but alas, the path is long, arduous, and filled with past ghosts.
 
Serenity is very right about this... you need to be conscious of whether your relationship was attachment or something more. In this life we form many many attachments, and in reality everything is an attachment. So just breathe in and out, and think about the reasons why you should not be with him, and why it was a good choice. Keep reminding yourself. Even if the pain is unbearable, you will know internally that you must fight this because that is the best thing for you. Have the courage, and patience. You can take as long as you need to get over him, do not be ashamed. *hugs*

Serenity said:
I have a best friend who had a boyfriend that she was going out on and off with for 8 years, even being engaged at one point. She just broke up with him because she didn't feel the emotional connection with him anymore. She started to see her relationship with him as simply an attachment that she didn't have the strength the break off.

If he isn't right for you, then it's a good thing that you realized now, instead of waiting another five years.
I understand how the post-break-up phase is like as well, feeling that empty space, both physically and in your heart.
It may not be so now, but it's going to be okay.

Have a :hug:
Click to expand...
 
I can say, I certainly know how you feel. I'm also a middle aged type who lost the only real relationship of my life a few years ago. It hurts bad, and the worst part was not knowing why. I cried every day for 40 days so hard that I ran out of tears every day. I called that phase "The Flood", especially since until that point I was incapable of crying.

All I can say is, in time, it gets better, and you will heal.

/hugs
 
I certainly understand where you are. . .middle aged. . alone. . been there,,it feels like death. . at least to me. .it will get better with time. . at least that'ts the theory,and what supportive friends are suppossed to say. .but it feels like platitudes to hear. . like if you really cared you'd cry with me. .
so often times those around us are uncomfortable with our pain and so they say and do things to avoid it or re-direct it, when what you really need to do is cry. .
there is a time and place for moving on, but at first you just have to walk through it. . there are some things that help me at times like this. . songs. . songs that tell of the feelings and help me understand the feelings on a different level, , perhaps a more visceral level. . dont know if that works for others or not. .
feel free to reach out. .
 
Prettyinpink said:
I just broke up with a boyfriend of 3 years. I'm really lonely and I'm not very outgoing, so I don't meet many people. With the change in my life, I feel like, I need a hug and some friendly conversation. I just cannot stop crying because I don't understand why this happen... :(.
Click to expand...

Keep that chin up. Sometimes good things are just around the corner.
 
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