Predictability in others

Trifoilum

Trifoilum

find wisdom, build hope.
MBTI
INFJ
Enneagram
6w5
Have you ever find yourself feeling like someone or another is being completely predictable in your eyes? When something they did just isn't surprising you anymore..
GOD, that sounds obnoxious.

On some levels I think it's normal to create some spiritual pattern of understanding; at least based on what someone's experienced and observed, it makes sense to create some understanding of how they acted / said / behaved under this and that. (Si; or, probably Ni + Se)
On other levels though that is really fallacious; people are complex beings that has layers and facets of personality.

And I suppose that pattern is personalized; I cannot apply the pattern completely on other people.

What do you think?
 
i find the human race as a whole quite predictable. individuals for the most part do not surprise me either. if i've known you for any length of time you will never surprise me unless you step out of your normal 'mode' which people seldom do
 
I've noticed certain people stabilize out over time, so that their behaviors really do become quite predictable.
They're happy in the same ways.
They're angry in the same ways.
They're the same when they're socializing.
They use the same nonverbal gestures or movements.
 
JGirl said:
i find the human race as a whole quite predictable. individuals for the most part do not surprise me either. if i've known you for any length of time you will never surprise me unless you step out of your normal 'mode' which people seldom do
Click to expand...

I knew you were going to say that.

Ha-HA!
 
Of course people are predictable. This is based on the stability of their character, temperament, fears, anxieties, interests, etc.

Some people have a broader spectrum of ways of manifesting their interests and protecting themselves, but this reduces the predictability to a certain type of response/spontaneity.


When people aren't predictable it implies instability: mental, or emotional.



To get away from the predictable side of people requires one to get away from the emotionally active/reactive mode of interaction and enter the intellectual discussion of varied, broad topics. My experience is that strong Sensors are incapable of being anything but entirely predictable.
 
^I don't think so.

You can be minimally unpredictable and do something like take the scenic route home, or wake up early on Saturday and hop on whatever train you can catch, or stop living your life as if the whole point is to find the most efficient, practical solution to everything. I sometimes catch myself saying things like 'I should take this street because it's going to be the quickest way to where I'm going', which is when I tell myself 'but on the other hand, I've never been down THAT street and if I go there I can also swing by the park and catch some greenery and maybe watch the ducks for a bit'. These things are not exciting or extreme by any means but what they do accomplish is that they take me out of my routine and remind me that I'm living in a world instead of repeating the same actions over and over. I've actually been happier with random detours that go nowhere special than with whole planned trips to world-famous monuments… I think because every time you shake yourself out of your routine, you inevitably feel better about everything.

If you're pressed for time in your daily life then you can't always do these kinds of things, but even then I still think there are opportunities for this kind of thing. During the winter months when it's really cold people start to get less exciting, cagier, and more predictable because they want to save body heat so do everything they can to limit their exposure to the cold-- but what they should be doing is letting themselves freeze a little and then come in with a face so numb that they are barely able to speak and then smile as the warmth gets in and they feel more alive than they would have if they'd just made a beeline for the comfort zone.

I guess someone could say that based on what they know of me that I would probably do that kind of thing, but I don't think that they could say that I would do it at a specific time or that it would involve going to a specific place… mostly because a lot of the detours are to places that are rather unremarkable, which is actually what makes them so special. And anyways, predicting that someone is going to do something that makes them happy is sort of like saying you're going to eat a bowl of chicken chow mein and get hungry real soon. Well yeah genius, I probably am.

I could never tolerate anyone who demanded that everyone always choose the most efficient, most practical solution to every problem… it would be like being dead. But I know that there are people like that out there.
 
People are creatures of habit. The habit creates patterns of behavior that is very predictable. The behavioral patterns to almost all situations are learned. The learning takes place at a very young age and the environment and the people involved in the child's life and the role models all help create the reactionary behaviors to various situations i think. If a child grew up in a passive aggressive environment with parents that did not exhibit real emotions than the child will invariably learn to deal with emotions the same way. It does not really matter if the situations change or the people change; it seems we are all wired to react at a predictable manner of behavior to these situations. The only way out of the predictability pattern is being very aware of your own behavioral modes and reactions and even attempt to change it if one feels unsatisfied by their actions.

But noticing patterns of behavior is such an INFJ thing to do.lol:mpoke:
 
Anyone can be figured out. Their patterns and behaviors mapped like a web.

A leads to B leads to C.
 
The risk, of course, is the inability to see the potential in others. Certainly the case for me. I'd rather focus on what they're likely to do based on past examples than on their capability to change up their patterns.
 
Yeah, most of what you're saying here is indeed, true. It makes perfect sense that people have certain aptitude with certain things and skills; and creating habits to make their lives easier. And that -can- be read.

Most of my hesitancy comes from the ideal that people have potentials, as [MENTION=4726]Vict[/MENTION] had said. Also, from the 'people are not robots' / free will camp of consciousness.

Reading their predictability and lacking surprise, at some strange levels and layers feels like violating their free wills and sorta thinking of them as programs, as NPCs, as scripts. Feels dirty. But yet it -is- easier, in a dismissing kind of way.
Which is related to, I guess;
Apone said:
or stop living your life as if the whole point is to find the most efficient, practical solution to everything.

I could never tolerate anyone who demanded that everyone always choose the most efficient, most practical solution to every problem… it would be like being dead. But I know that there are people like that out there.
Click to expand...

+1. In my surroundings, it's the Ti doms in my life that's OBSESSED with finding the 'most efficient' solution...and applied it everywhere. Lifehacking, if you may. As an aside, I observed that what means being efficient is having less hassle in their lives, and most often it's fear of people. And also, in an ironic way, fear of repetition.
 
[MENTION=5090]Apone[/MENTION]
Even taking random excursions from routine, when there is free time, is very predictable in people.

I have aquaintances who never break from routine - predictable enough. But I have other aquaintances who cyclically feel confined by routine and take 'random' excursions. The rest of us say that 'John is having one of those spontaneous days... again', just like he always does.

The only people who are not predictable are strangers - until you get to know them.




On this forum some members will change their user-name, avatar and signature - trying to rekindle the interest of other forum members in them, because like it, or not, everyone is predictable when you get to know them; and predictable can be boring.
 
Actually, I think breaking patterns is another method to raise people's interest on you. It plays in conjunction with what some people have in mind about you (for instance, the bad boy trope becomes very attractive when you've got to see the human side beneath them)

Those who tend to be random and chaotic may surprise others by being orderly, for instance.

In effect you're 'showing another side of you'; getting people to know more about you ('oh, so he's not just A. I wonder why he'd done that.') At least, when done properly; done improperly it's adding a lie into a bunch of lie; putting another mirror into halls full of one.
 
Trifoilum said:
Those who tend to be random and chaotic may surprise others by being orderly, for instance.
Click to expand...

You've got a point there. When some 'free spirit' starts being orderly I always what's going on.



It just occured to me that the most interesting people I know are very, very well mannered and polite. They are courteous, they are reliable, they don't let on much about themselves - and certainly never 'spill their guts' about their problems. I'm always left wondering about them, because they don't let on much about themselves.


Perhaps part of 'old school/old world' manners was about keeping people interesting to others.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
You've got a point there. When some 'free spirit' starts being orderly I always what's going on.

It just occured to me that the most interesting people I know are very, very well mannered and polite. They are courteous, they are reliable, they don't let on much about themselves - and certainly never 'spill their guts' about their problems. I'm always left wondering about them, because they don't let on much about themselves.
Click to expand...
It works in all ways.

Aside from the initial charm they have...
The quiet and mysterious people has its charms in the secrets they hid;
the open and extroverted ones, on the other hand, has its charms when they -actually- have secrets.
The reliable ones have a special charm when they need help (specifically, our help)
while the unreliable ones become charming when they decided they don't -need- our help.

Perhaps part of 'old school/old world' manners was about keeping people interesting to others.
Click to expand...
This one, though, I somewhat disagree. It was more subterfuge; more covering the flaws rather than strategically revealing the flaws.
 
Don't talk, listen.
Don't try to be looked at.
Look!
Try to sense..
With time, the person you look at and listen to will start to have his/her own pattern of behavior but remember that it's only your perception of that person, not reality.
With expirience, perception will be more and more similar to reality and you will get those personal pictures quicker and quicker.
Try not to involve emotions or profile someone based on first look.
People really are predictible, mostly..

It's really nice to be an infj, people unpridictible to others can be rather predictible to you :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top