Rent-a-friend

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Chess

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I heard about this on another forum, and thought I'd toss it around the Internet a little.

http://kotaku.com/5974063/when-you-can-rent-friends-you-are-never-forever-alone

Granted, I don't understand much at all about Japanese culture (except that they like their language complicated and their anime chock-full of tropes), but I think it sounds like a bit of a shame. Perhaps it's more lucrative to not "teach a man to fish" or there are factors at play that I don't know of, but it would seem more beneficial to design services to help people socialize outside of work or boost their social skills.

I wonder if we'll see this elsewhere soon? Hasn't the "cuddle cafe" thing popped up elsewhere? How much acceptance do you think things like this are going to get long-term, and why?

What do you think it's like to be a rent-a-friend? Is it awkward? Do they actually like some of the people they're assigned to? Do real friendships ever come from it? Do they have to do stupid things if you tell them to?
 
I will give you $5, will you be my friend?

On a serious note, it could be helpful for someone like me, with Asperger's Syndrome.
 
I think being a rent-a-friend could be kind of nice. You don't really have to be
there, you just have to be friendly and smile. If you've worked with the public
at all you already know how to this. It seems like a very absent-minded job
with lots of time to think. It also presents a wide pool of people to observe and
to learn. I don't think rent-a-friends are meant to be life long friends. How can
you have a life long friend that you've been paying to be your friend. That is not
a life time friend. This system awards the friend a time to learn about others,
improve him/herself and to reflect/think while being allowed to see things from
a potentially very different perspective while awarding an easy to "break up"
once you've learned all you can from the person you've befriended. Or if you're
the other person you can tell them to leave when you're sick of them and no one
becomes upset or offended.
 
I bet its probably like being a prostitute with less orgasms and less stigma.
 
Notice how the client depicted are men, and the workers depicted, women. I wonder if there are women customer, or men workers.

But yes, There has been a surprising increase of these type of services; cuddle cafe, rent-a-girlfriend, mock-date.... there are even 'sleeping together' service when you rent a person for...exactly that. Sleeping partner, sleeping peacefully sans sex.

Making friends in Japan can seem hard. For adults, many relationships are centered around work; you spend your after work time socializing with co-workers or customers. Personal relationships are key to doing well in Japan. This set up works for those in the corporate world, but not for those who aren't.
Click to expand...

From what I'd heard this is apparently the norm. When one can extend their overtimes daily until 9 PM for the sake of saving face... you don't get to see a lot of people but your co-workers.

The principle, aside from the potential abuse, seems interesting.
For the customer, you get the highs of friendship without the lows -and- the upkeep*. (Forget having to listen to your friend's heartbreak woes because 'he's my friend'! Forget having to be dragged to do things you abhor just because she's your friend!).
For the worker, it's like what [MENTION=2926]Bird[/MENTION] is saying; it's a good way to observe human, and a great part time work for people in marketing and/or customer service.

I doubt it's going to be so smooth, though.
For return customers, there are possibilities of developing an attachment...which can be positive or negative. It can be unrequited. Further emotional attachment (crushing, love) may also happen.
Then the fact that this is a relationship based on money can put a lot of stress to the customer (are they liking me for who I am? Or are they liking me for my moniezzz?). The worker can and may put masks.. which can result in disappointment for the customer (or vice versa)
And done wrongly, it could give unhealthy ideas over real-life, actual relationships, which has the lows, the flats, and the upkeep.
The mental strain for the workers (you ought to be friendly, smiling and understanding for EVERYONE. Even the trollest troll in the world) sounds unbearable. I doubt these are like host/hostess, where alcohols are involved (thus sometimes requiring less concentration). And the demographics seems to be different; between host/hostess and these services....

*shrugs* my take on this is "looks good in paper, but hopefully the business are treating the customers and the workers well.)

*) If you're saying 'just reject them', consider the target. These customer are most likely lacking on social skills and/or emotional maturity to create a proper boundaries -and- keeping them. Not to mention the culture... Japanese is one of the most Fe culture ever.
 
Good point trifolium. Would there be an option for "cattiness" for women friendships?
 
Weird.
What is going on over there that people can't form relationships, they have to pay for friendships and hugs?
 
acd said:
Weird.
What is going on over there that people can't form relationships, they have to pay for friendships and hugs?
Click to expand...

Life, man. Life.
 
Paladin-X said:
I will give you $5, will you be my friend?

On a serious note, it could be helpful for someone like me, with Asperger's Syndrome.
Click to expand...

Yeah, this. It's not like the majority of people are known for being especially accommodating for some kinds of mental illness or anxieties, etc... I'd imagine that in many cases those people don't even go out at all, typically. If you're uptight, then you can't just fly solo and expect to feel confident about yourself or expect people not to be creeped out-- and it's altogether too easy to be misunderstood, avoided... or just to not really know what to do or say. Sometimes it's not even an illness so much as you just spend too much time working and you don't get out much... or maybe you're stuck in an isolating routine.

People tend not to want to deal with these kinds of people when they're trying to have fun, so you would end up watching other people getting along and having fun, while you're stuck in a corner, slowly growing suicidal. This could sort of help to make you appear more socially desirable to others.

I do think it's a pretty sad statement that consumerist society has turned basic human interaction into a commodity, though.
 
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I think it's a sad statement that relationships are trivialized to the point where work and money are given precedence over spending time getting to know other people. Humans need bonds to survive or at least not go insane-- but free time for friends and loved ones is considered a luxury. It's not even friendship that's being bought. It's such an ironic concept.
 
UBERROGO said:
Good point trifolium. Would there be an option for "cattiness" for women friendships?
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*shrugs* does it even necessary?
I think for those type of bonding, especially the mutual ones (mutual gossiping, as opposed to one listening the other yapping) they need a shared knowledge of their environments and the people inside (not, "Hey, let's talk about this people you don't even know!")
acd said:
Weird.
What is going on over there that people can't form relationships, they have to pay for friendships and hugs?
Click to expand...
Life thing.
More shiny goods. More money needed. Seek more money.
House price went up. Food prices went up. School prices went up. Seek more money.
More overtimes (and less able to reject it, due to THE ECONOMY). Harder to meet people.

That's one.
My suspicion is introverts make up these types of customer. We are not talking about hostesses and cheating husband, but lonely people seeking...friends, communication, companionship without the time and effort.

Even harder if you're an introvert.
Culture. Japanese valued 'social compromising' more than Americans. Meaning, introvert or not, we don't give a damn, when you meet people, you TALK and PARTICIPATE. When they give you demands, offers, you ACCEPT. When they meddle inside your life, be GRATEFUL (the ideal, at least). Then in your twenties, you are expected to 'wisen up', 'mature', and 'get a real job'. Not doing it equals isolation and (willing/unwilling) ostracizing. Less people to talk to.

That evolves to stigma. Stigma against introversion and social anxiety is deeper. Moreso with stigma against 'different' people and its related group mentality. (The stigma is not particularly stronger compared to, say, Americans, but deeper, more pervasive, more expected. Consider the Japanese proverb 'The nail that sticks out gets hammered'; contrast the tone with 'putting a square peg into a round hole'). People find niches within niches within niches. Then people make businesses catering to these niches. This is one of them.

Introversion leads up to shame. Shame >> "Try to go out and talk!" >> Too different / too 'weird' / considered a freak >> inability to connect and/or blend without harming their own self >> "But I cannot and they hate me!" >> Even more Shame. Even harder to meet people.
Basically it's a shortcut.
acd said:
I think it's a sad statement that relationships are trivialized to the point where work and money are given precedence over spending time getting to know other people. Humans need bonds to survive or at least not go insane-- but free time for friends and loved ones is considered a luxury. It's not even friendship that's being bought. It's such an ironic concept.
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True, but looking at the growth, this is a predictable result after the prevalence of hikikomori and herbivore guys in the culture...
People create stopgap measures to be short term solutions for a deep and heavy problem such as these.
This is the antibiotic, not the treatment nor the preventive measures.

(In another case, Chinese people have been known to hire people as fake girlfriends/boyfriends to bring home due to marriage pressures and intrusive offers.
There have been offers from a gay person seeking a lesbian to fake-marry, also to similar pressure.)

Not to mention, building a meaningful and deep relationship is not an easy thing to do. I find it sad that it's apparently a reason enough not to try, but apparently it is.
 
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Of course it might be sad that some people are way below average in their ability to form relationships, but this is nothing new. It only seems sad because creating a service to bandaid it highlights it more.

Some people are just going to have more difficulty than others at making friends, no matter how much outside help they get or how hard they try. It does seem like it could be unhealthy if it makes things more complicated for the client, but based on the job description this thing is hardly different from renting an escort for a party, or renting someone to help you move furniture.
 
niffer said:
Of course it might be sad that some people are way below average in their ability to form relationships, but this is nothing new. It only seems sad because creating a service to bandaid it highlights it more.

Some people are just going to have more difficulty than others at making friends, no matter how much outside help they get or how hard they try. It does seem like it could be unhealthy if it makes things more complicated for the client, but based on the job description this thing is hardly different from renting an escort for a party, or renting someone to help you move furniture.
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Job descriptions have been widely known to mask the shits one will experience / do within a particular type of career, however? XD

But overall I also agreed with your statements. This is not a, say, life coaching (which, come to think about it, are there any life coaching in Japan?) or therapy... At least this leads to a certain human touch, comparing to marrying an anime character or your NDS. :|
 
Paladin-X said:
I will give you $5, will you be my friend?

On a serious note, it could be helpful for someone like me, with Asperger's Syndrome.
Click to expand...

Make it ten and you've got yourself a deal. There are some ground rules though. I won't talk, touch, look or acknowledge you in any way. Try to interact with me and I will hit you. I may clear my throat on occasion, which you may take as a sign of affection or interest.
 
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