Romance vs. Love

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Romance and Love

I think they are so tied up the the American mind that admitting you are not much of a romantic means your relationship is lacking.

I think romance is closely linked with spontaneity, though it often takes predictable forms.

See: candy, flowers. I do not disparage these.

Small surprises can be romantic, little gifts.

I think where this is going (if anywhere, lol) is that I don't crave romance. Doesn't that sound odd, like I don't want to be serenaded by my SO and hand fed chocolate cake with a beach sunset.

Maybe I have less fanciful expectations. I'm grateful and fulfilled with acceptance as I have never before felt it
 
How could you pass up being hand fed chocolate cake at the beach?

I'll have to admit that romantic gestures can get carried away and be more awkward than romantic. But I'm still a sucker for romance : )
 
This is interesting because I used to be all about the romance . . . in theory. I idealized love and romance. But I have a different take on romance. It's not the flowers, gifts, or anything else which does it for me. It's the thought, the affection, the feeling, or the attitude behind it. Love can be expressed in so many subtle ways that overt gestures can take away from the true romance.

[video=youtube;NLgmlWRxhwk]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLgmlWRxhwk[/video]
 
Okay.. So I am a hopeless romantic, scratch that... hopeful romantic. But I think that romance should be geared toward what your love, or SO would deem romantic and not what the "world" or even yourself believes to be romantic. I believe that true romance comes from knowing the person that you love truly, and knowing what would take their breath away. It could be as simple as running a hot bath, and creating a thoughtful playlist for them to listen to after a long day, or getting them that monthly subscription that they want for their new favorite computer game. What romance should really come down to is thoughtfulness. If you think, and then act, about and for the one that you care about well that is romantic enough to build a true relationship. I think that everyone has the potential to be romantic, and that selfless thoughtfulness is essential in creating a good lasting relationship. No not over the top gestures if that is not what you or your love are into, but knowing them and what they are into, makes all of the difference.
 
dneecey said:
Okay.. So I am a hopeless romantic, scratch that... hopeful romantic. But I think that romance should be geared toward what your love, or SO would deem romantic and not what the "world" or even yourself believes to be romantic. I believe that true romance comes from knowing the person that you love truly, and knowing what would take their breath away. It could be as simple as running a hot bath, and creating a thoughtful playlist for them to listen to after a long day, or getting them that monthly subscription that they want for their new favorite computer game. What romance should really come down to is thoughtfulness. If you think, and then act, about and for the one that you care about well that is romantic enough to build a true relationship. I think that everyone has the potential to be romantic, and that selfless thoughtfulness is essential in creating a good lasting relationship. No not over the top gestures if that is not what you or your love are into, but knowing them and what they are into, makes all of the difference.
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"You must spread some reputation around before giving to dneecey again." *pouts* [MENTION=1060]dneecey[/MENTION]
 
dneecey said:

It could be as simple as running a hot bath, and creating a thoughtful playlist for them to listen to after a long day, or getting them that monthly subscription that they want for their new favorite computer game.
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I love the idea of romance being a genuine and personal experience.

I guess I am a romantic :)
 
Just to add, romance is individual. We all will romance differently. Two people may not always agree on what's romantic which is why there are varying love languages. I may prefer to show my partner affection through gifts or words or affirmation but he may prefer physical touch or quality time.
 
Rite said:

Just to add, romance is individual. We all will romance differently. Two people may not always agree on what's romantic which is why there are varying love languages. I may prefer to show my partner affection through gifts or words or affirmation but he may prefer physical touch or quality time.
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Why is everyone here so amazingly thoughtful here? ....oh love languages...
 
I would love to be hand-fed strawberries and grapes. (feels mischievous). hmm, wonder what my husband would think of that?
 
Recently I realized that I find everything more romantic when it's sketchy/perilous, like usually when things are illegal or semi-illegal.

I would rather trespass onto private property to explore a crumbling old building or copulate while under the influence of illicit drugs than walk on the same stupid beach I've already walked on numerous times with all my previous boyfriends, which requires no element of effort or sacrifice and elicits minimal excitement.

No, it's not love, but why would you want to love a boring person? Granted, there are other forms of excitement.
 
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Love is the positive orientation of one mind to another;
romance is its expression.

As one mind differs from another,
so too do love and romance.

Happiness wears many faces.
 
It's weird to me that the word "romance" is rarely ever used in works of art. Songs and poems use the word "love" in every context imaginable. They use it to mean both feeling an expression, noun and verb, subject and object. There's only one other word that's used in so many ways as "love" and it's the word that's not appropriate to say (and is often thought to mean having sex).

I trigger easily on song lyrics to get things stuck in my head. A passing phrase from a song I haven't heard in years and it's enough. Sometimes I have more than one song stuck in my head at a time. It's crazy. While I'm sure google can find it (the interwebz haz everythings), I cannot actually think of a single song that uses the word "romance."

But love...

What's love got to do with it? What is love, anyway? I know you think that love is the way you make it. Modern love gets me to the church on time. Love, love will keep us together. Love, exciting and new; come aboard, we're expecting you. Whatever words you say, I will always love you. Love will find a way. Calling Dr. Love. Crazy little thing called love. Love me tender, love me true. All I need is love. All you need is love. Love me love me, say that you love me. I love you, love you, love you the best. Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have. All is full of love. Was it love or was it the idea of being in love? In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
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If romance is spontaneity, then saying "I love you" or using the word "love" in a song or poem must therefore be the most unromantic thing you could possibly do. But words are not love. We know this because we constantly complain about it.

"Freedom and love go together. Love is not a reaction. If I love you because you love me, that is mere trade, a thing to be bought in the market; it is not love. To love is not to ask anything in return, not even to feel that you are giving something- and it is only such love that can know freedom." Jiddu Krishnamurti
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This does not describe romance. This is the opposite of romance. Romance demands returned affections else it longs endlessly then renames the longing love. Romance is meta. We sing about love because we know romance is meaningless. Romance is decoy. Romance is the fool's gold of love.

Romance demands love. Love makes no demands.
 
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