serenesam
Banned
- MBTI
- INTJ
I remember as a teenager looking for an apartment with my mother and we stumbled across this one apartment that was slightly a bit more expensive although ultimately we never really rented it and decided to rent somewhere else cheaper. We did get to meet up with the landlord to see the inside of it and the landlord was very talkative telling us about the neighbors next door. He mentioned about a husband and a wife living separately in two apartments and found it to be odd. At that time, I did find it unusual and strange too and so did my mother. Now at the age of twenty-six, while I may not fully understand the situation, I believe I may have understood somewhat of the situation given the fact that I am an American-born citizen. It is no secret that Asians tend to place a heavy emphasis on collectivism and so I don’t think I have to go into detail elaborating that very notion. For the first time in my life not back when I was a teenager but right now in the present moment as I am thinking of this past event along with many other things in my mind, I finally understood or at least partially understood the beauty of individualism, non-dependency, and individual achievement. I find it an interesting and awesome experience being married to a woman and having to wake up everyday not having to see the same face every single day and going about my daily business making a living for myself and seeing her only on occasion. Contrary to the notion by some perhaps the more emotional sensitive or even spiritual type of people who claim that you usually know if your spouse is the one for you when he or she wakes up every morning and has bad hygiene, I believe this point to be nonsense.
The fact that a husband and a wife can happily live separately tells me three things: 1). That the internal love between a man and a woman is an illusion perhaps propagated by television thereby influencing our peers and eventually us or particular individuals because ultimately people can have affection towards multiple individuals and in some cases, the more broad affection towards people and other organisms both organic and inorganic. 2). That the physical appearance of either the male (must be shaven, have a nice haircut, teeth should be white and not yellow, and other hygiene) or the female (might want to put on make-up though obviously there are exceptions to every rule because some women actually look better without make-up, put on lipstick and preferably prefer the color red, be thoroughly shaved wherever there is hair through the body with the exception of the hair of course because some women look extraordinary beautiful with long hair) is something to not be dismissed, undervalued, overlooked, or underestimated. 3). That the dichotomy of separation and non-separation or togetherness is an issue of relevant discussion no different than some libertarians saying that we can be distinct and unified at the same time and in the case of the husband and wife, the distinction, glorification of uniqueness, and individuality would or should allow one spouse or the other to pursue the freedom of desired goals and/or dreams. In order to fully achieve the desired goals with a maximum sense of individual achievement done by one own and knowing that one fully earned it on one own, non-dependency on spouses, family, and friends is crucial for the very purpose of setting very high standards or increasing the bar. By allowing spouses or associates to “help” in achieving goals, standards may be lowered, bars may not be set as high to the maximum possible, and one cannot proclaim complete earning of a goal or objective as there is a difference between the word earn and receive or get.
I am fully aware that proponents of collectivism may argue that the psychological state of the human being is more likely on average to be much more healthier and yes there certainly is evidence to support this notion. I do not disagree with this as there are certainly cultures that place a heavy emphasis on collectivism such as Asians but seeing the flaws and weaknesses within Asian human beings themselves is indicative and reflective with regard to the problems with collectivism. Examples may include the passive nature of Asians, intense dislike pertaining to unfamiliar or ambiguous territory and/or situations in contrast to the daring experimental attitude of individualism and adventure, and falling behind or slow to respond or concoct innovative technology such as America making the nuclear bomb before China only further proof of the ingenuity of individualistic American that was perhaps at one time truly the greatest country on Earth. Collectivism ridicules individuals who want to think outside the box, go beyond what is required by the group mind, or come up with something that others may find antagonistic or disruptive to the group order. It may claim to embrace freedom and freewill but this is illusory because there is heavy value for the group over the individual thereby limiting freedom. The key emphasis is a balance between both individualistic and collectivistic oriented type (or that which is similar to both) for a thriving society both in the context of human relationships and the more broad sense of world order.
The fact that a husband and a wife can happily live separately tells me three things: 1). That the internal love between a man and a woman is an illusion perhaps propagated by television thereby influencing our peers and eventually us or particular individuals because ultimately people can have affection towards multiple individuals and in some cases, the more broad affection towards people and other organisms both organic and inorganic. 2). That the physical appearance of either the male (must be shaven, have a nice haircut, teeth should be white and not yellow, and other hygiene) or the female (might want to put on make-up though obviously there are exceptions to every rule because some women actually look better without make-up, put on lipstick and preferably prefer the color red, be thoroughly shaved wherever there is hair through the body with the exception of the hair of course because some women look extraordinary beautiful with long hair) is something to not be dismissed, undervalued, overlooked, or underestimated. 3). That the dichotomy of separation and non-separation or togetherness is an issue of relevant discussion no different than some libertarians saying that we can be distinct and unified at the same time and in the case of the husband and wife, the distinction, glorification of uniqueness, and individuality would or should allow one spouse or the other to pursue the freedom of desired goals and/or dreams. In order to fully achieve the desired goals with a maximum sense of individual achievement done by one own and knowing that one fully earned it on one own, non-dependency on spouses, family, and friends is crucial for the very purpose of setting very high standards or increasing the bar. By allowing spouses or associates to “help” in achieving goals, standards may be lowered, bars may not be set as high to the maximum possible, and one cannot proclaim complete earning of a goal or objective as there is a difference between the word earn and receive or get.
I am fully aware that proponents of collectivism may argue that the psychological state of the human being is more likely on average to be much more healthier and yes there certainly is evidence to support this notion. I do not disagree with this as there are certainly cultures that place a heavy emphasis on collectivism such as Asians but seeing the flaws and weaknesses within Asian human beings themselves is indicative and reflective with regard to the problems with collectivism. Examples may include the passive nature of Asians, intense dislike pertaining to unfamiliar or ambiguous territory and/or situations in contrast to the daring experimental attitude of individualism and adventure, and falling behind or slow to respond or concoct innovative technology such as America making the nuclear bomb before China only further proof of the ingenuity of individualistic American that was perhaps at one time truly the greatest country on Earth. Collectivism ridicules individuals who want to think outside the box, go beyond what is required by the group mind, or come up with something that others may find antagonistic or disruptive to the group order. It may claim to embrace freedom and freewill but this is illusory because there is heavy value for the group over the individual thereby limiting freedom. The key emphasis is a balance between both individualistic and collectivistic oriented type (or that which is similar to both) for a thriving society both in the context of human relationships and the more broad sense of world order.
