[INFJ] What type am I? Please help me :)

[Lady Jolanda]

Hello everyone :grouphug:
I'm new to this forum. I've come here to seek help figuring out my type I have overloaded my brain with information trying to figure it out myself for years.., but must grudgingly admit defeat. I feel quite self conscious about asking for help, as it means drawing this much attention to myself; makes me feel like a narcissist.

The reasons I have a hard time typing myself include my 'older' age, so that my lower functions have had more time to develop, and more importantly, a history of family abuse and bullying and hence mental illness, throwing the function order out of whack.

Beyond that, I self-identify as HSP, and after a battery of psychological tests by my psychiatrist, have been found 'gifted'. I don't know if/how these factors influence the type results either.

Finally, I've been reading about MBTI/Jung/type theory for give or take 10 years, so tests are near useless as I can just manipulate the results by filling them in knowing exactly what kind of question tests which dichotomy (MBTI) or what kind of question tests for which cognitive function (Jung). I've also read tons of different material in books and websites, and it certainly doesn't help either that everyone seems to have a different interpretation of the theories.

I'll give you some background information:

I first came into contact with the MBTI in high school at age 16, where we took the test as part of a course on figuring out what kind of career you should pursue. I tested INTP. The test results had some merit, it listed my love of learning and knowledge, interest in theory, solution finding. However it also mentioned knowledge for knowledge sake, and I felt like that didn't fit at all: My main drive was always to improve the world, not just understand it.
I quickly discarded the results as it only fit somewhat, feeling like this was one of the many tests that try to tell you things about yourself that you already know. (See: Every other internet test out there on HelloQuizzy. You are a 'C' type! How do we know this? Well, you mostly picked C! Uh duuuhh. Also, being very wary of the Forer effect.)

Then some years later I ran into it again, at age 20, trying to figure out myself cause I was unhappy.* This time I tested INTJ. The test results felt much closer to my actual self this time, and specifically mentioned applying knowledge. This is also when I learned of the concept of mistyping and that it apparently is very common, even using the official MBTI test, so I took it more seriously now. I joined the INTJForum trying to learn more.* Also purchased 'Please Understand Me 2' by Keirsey, which was excellent, and 'Was that really me' by Naomi Quenk, which didn't really do it for me. Lurked around on Typology Central and read PersonalityPage.com.
*History seems to repeat itself.

So I decided I was an INTJ with highly developed Fi.
But here too something was off. Some of the INTJs on the INTJForum just seemed..cold. Some others seemed very interested in, what I can only describe as, an 'online dick measuring contest'. Sorry for the language. Constantly trying to one-up each other in every area.
Another thing I noticed is that I found myself agreeing/resonating with the few INTPs there much more readily than with the INTJs. I could follow their way of thinking/reasoning/seeing the world more easily.
Beyond that INTJs, or NTs in general, are supposed to be calm, reasonable and collected, yes? (Source: Please Understand Me 2.)
Calm? Me? Ha. I'm as calm as a hurricane.
I'm very affected by my environment, and it's emotional atmosphere. And likewise, whatever I feel I radiate back outwards. I love connecting to people to talk about important issues, such as the environment, politics, ethics, human nature, people's dreams and passions and perspectives and life goals, and then I truly come alive. I'm enthusiastic, upbeat, talkative and outgoing when happy or intrigued or in awe of the wonders of the universe.
Yet when people are down, sad, depressed, cynical, aloof, anxious.. I have this 'need' to reach out to them and make them feel better. Even complete strangers on Facebook. The other day I read this post by a lady who's teenage daughter fell in love with a 'bad boy' and ran away to go live with him. She was treated very poorly by him. Her mother was so sad, so desperate to safely have her back in her arms, to hold her again, to protect her from that awful outside influence. And I so badly wish I could do something for them. Support the mother. Make the daughter see reason and return home to her loving family. Argh. ersevere:

Oops, I digress.

Then, the INTJs seemed to have no problems tearing each other apart in debate, hurt feelings were no part of it. This doesn't fit for me either, makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I could very easily see many points of view, so I'd find myself agreeing with a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Person A, with a given background, says AB, but actually means ABC, and person B, with his own background, says BC, but actually also means ABC, so these two are in agreement but can't actually see that for themselves.

Finally, the INTJs seemed to not care about what others think of them. This is not true for me. I wish I didn't, but I really do care.

The above makes me believe that NF might be a better fit than NT, hence, my coming here. That said, I don't really feel like the INFJ description on PersonalityPage.com fits either, which is why I never considered that option. Mostly the 'experiences of a psychic nature'. Can't say I ever experienced any.

So, that was some background. I feel quite ashamed about having to post this, cause it looks like I'm just rambling. But I've already rewritten and deleted so many posts, it'll just have to do. Ahem.
I'll follow up later with test results and answers to some questionnaires and any questions you guys have that could point me in the right direction.

Fire away! And thanks all

EDIT: Darn, I wrote an entire book again. Wall of Text Crits you for 9000!
Sorry guys, being concise and to the point is not really my forte.

 

[Pin]

Hey now, we all have our idiosyncrasies and flaws. That's why we work on them and become ENTJs.

 

[Ren]

Hello everyone :grouphug:
I'm new to this forum. I've come here to seek help figuring out my type I have overloaded my brain with information trying to figure it out myself for years.., but must grudgingly admit defeat. I feel quite self conscious about asking for help, as it means drawing this much attention to myself; makes me feel like a narcissist.

The reasons I have a hard time typing myself include my 'older' age, so that my lower functions have had more time to develop, and more importantly, a history of family abuse and bullying and hence mental illness, throwing the function order out of whack.

Beyond that, I self-identify as HSP, and after a battery of psychological tests by my psychiatrist, have been found 'gifted'. I don't know if/how these factors influence the type results either.

Finally, I've been reading about MBTI/Jung/type theory for give or take 10 years, so tests are near useless as I can just manipulate the results by filling them in knowing exactly what kind of question tests which dichotomy (MBTI) or what kind of question tests for which cognitive function (Jung). I've also read tons of different material in books and websites, and it certainly doesn't help either that everyone seems to have a different interpretation of the theories.

I'll give you some background information:

I first came into contact with the MBTI in high school at age 16, where we took the test as part of a course on figuring out what kind of career you should pursue. I tested INTP. The test results had some merit, it listed my love of learning and knowledge, interest in theory, solution finding. However it also mentioned knowledge for knowledge sake, and I felt like that didn't fit at all: My main drive was always to improve the world, not just understand it.
I quickly discarded the results as it only fit somewhat, feeling like this was one of the many tests that try to tell you things about yourself that you already know. (See: Every other internet test out there on HelloQuizzy. You are a 'C' type! How do we know this? Well, you mostly picked C! Uh duuuhh. Also, being very wary of the Forer effect.)

Then some years later I ran into it again, at age 20, trying to figure out myself cause I was unhappy.* This time I tested INTJ. The test results felt much closer to my actual self this time, and specifically mentioned applying knowledge. This is also when I learned of the concept of mistyping and that it apparently is very common, even using the official MBTI test, so I took it more seriously now. I joined the INTJForum trying to learn more.* Also purchased 'Please Understand Me 2' by Keirsey, which was excellent, and 'Was that really me' by Naomi Quenk, which didn't really do it for me. Lurked around on Typology Central and read PersonalityPage.com.
*History seems to repeat itself.

So I decided I was an INTJ with highly developed Fi.
But here too something was off. Some of the INTJs on the INTJForum just seemed..cold. Some others seemed very interested in, what I can only describe as, an 'online dick measuring contest'. Sorry for the language. Constantly trying to one-up each other in every area.
Another thing I noticed is that I found myself agreeing/resonating with the few INTPs there much more readily than with the INTJs. I could follow their way of thinking/reasoning/seeing the world more easily.
Beyond that INTJs, or NTs in general, are supposed to be calm, reasonable and collected, yes? (Source: Please Understand Me 2.)
Calm? Me? Ha. I'm as calm as a hurricane.
I'm very affected by my environment, and it's emotional atmosphere. And likewise, whatever I feel I radiate back outwards. I love connecting to people to talk about important issues, such as the environment, politics, ethics, human nature, people's dreams and passions and perspectives and life goals, and then I truly come alive. I'm enthusiastic, upbeat, talkative and outgoing when happy or intrigued or in awe of the wonders of the universe.
Yet when people are down, sad, depressed, cynical, aloof, anxious.. I have this 'need' to reach out to them and make them feel better. Even complete strangers on Facebook. The other day I read this post by a lady who's teenage daughter fell in love with a 'bad boy' and ran away to go live with him. She was treated very poorly by him. Her mother was so sad, so desperate to safely have her back in her arms, to hold her again, to protect her from that awful outside influence. And I so badly wish I could do something for them. Support the mother. Make the daughter see reason and return home to her loving family. Argh. ersevere:

Oops, I digress.

Then, the INTJs seemed to have no problems tearing each other apart in debate, hurt feelings were no part of it. This doesn't fit for me either, makes me feel very uncomfortable.
I could very easily see many points of view, so I'd find myself agreeing with a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Person A, with a given background, says AB, but actually means ABC, and person B, with his own background, says BC, but actually also means ABC, so these two are in agreement but can't actually see that for themselves.

Finally, the INTJs seemed to not care about what others think of them. This is not true for me. I wish I didn't, but I really do care.

The above makes me believe that NF might be a better fit than NT, hence, my coming here. That said, I don't really feel like the INFJ description on PersonalityPage.com fits either, which is why I never considered that option. Mostly the 'experiences of a psychic nature'. Can't say I ever experienced any.

So, that was some background. I feel quite ashamed about having to post this, cause it looks like I'm just rambling. But I've already rewritten and deleted so many posts, it'll just have to do. Ahem.
I'll follow up later with test results and answers to some questionnaires and any questions you guys have that could point me in the right direction.

Fire away! And thanks all

EDIT: Darn, I wrote an entire book again. Wall of Text Crits you for 9000!
Sorry guys, being concise and to the point is not really my forte.

Thanks for this, it was really interesting to read!

You strike me as an Ne-dom or Ne-aux... I don't know what other people will say, but that's my impression. Are you definite about being introverted?

To me, your post screams ENFP but if you're introverted, we might have to come up with something else.

 

[Eventhorizon]

Can I first ask what difference it makes to you to know what mbti type you are? What are you trying to accomplish by knowing?

 

[infinite dreams]

My favorite exercise! A very thorough and exhaustive examination of your post (lol) leads me to believe you are an ENTP. Let me select a few quotes from your passage that may be relevant:


I feel quite self conscious about asking for help, as it means drawing this much attention to myself; makes me feel like a narcissist. (tertiary Fe)

Beyond that, I self-identify as HSP, and after a battery of psychological tests by my psychiatrist, have been found 'gifted'. I don't know if/how these factors influence the type results either. (Primary Ne/Auxiliary Ti - questioning the validity an established premise)

Finally, I've been reading about MBTI/Jung/type theory for give or take 10 years, so tests are near useless as I can just manipulate the results by filling them in knowing exactly what kind of question tests which dichotomy (MBTI) or what kind of question tests for which cognitive function (Jung). (Ne/Ti once again. Intuitive understanding of the tests and their limitations on a meta level).

My main drive was always to improve the world, not just understand it. (this really sounds Ne-dominant as opposed to Ne-auxiliary. ENTPs want to improve upon everything they see without the need to fully understand the object/concept first, whereas INTPs want to understand everything thoroughly and then improve if necessary or practical).

But here too something was off. Some of the INTJs on the INTJForum just seemed..cold. Some others seemed very interested in, what I can only describe as, an 'online dick measuring contest'. Sorry for the language. Constantly trying to one-up each other in every area. (Ti is more interested in finding the correct answer for self-edification than with measuring the "correctness" of one's logic vs. others, as with Te).

Another thing I noticed is that I found myself agreeing/resonating with the few INTPs there much more readily than with the INTJs. I could follow their way of thinking/reasoning/seeing the world more easily. (Sure sounds Ti to me as INTP/INTJ logic disagreements tend to be epic in scope).

Beyond that INTJs, or NTs in general, are supposed to be calm, reasonable and collected, yes? (Source: Please Understand Me 2.)
Calm? Me? Ha. I'm as calm as a hurricane. (not necessarily...tertiary/inferior Fe can unleash some powerful emotive storms).

I'm very affected by my environment, and it's emotional atmosphere. (Ne / Fe / Si) And likewise, whatever I feel I radiate back outwards. (Fe) I love connecting to people to talk about important issues, such as the environment, politics, ethics, human nature, people's dreams and passions and perspectives and life goals, and then I truly come alive. I'm enthusiastic, upbeat, talkative and outgoing when happy or intrigued or in awe of the wonders of the universe. (Ne)

Yet when people are down, sad, depressed, cynical, aloof, anxious.. I have this 'need' to reach out to them and make them feel better. Even complete strangers on Facebook. The other day I read this post by a lady who's teenage daughter fell in love with a 'bad boy' and ran away to go live with him. She was treated very poorly by him. Her mother was so sad, so desperate to safely have her back in her arms, to hold her again, to protect her from that awful outside influence. And I so badly wish I could do something for them. Support the mother. Make the daughter see reason and return home to her loving family. Argh. ersevere: (Fe)

Oops, I digress. (you're wandering around lol. Primary Ne!)

Then, the INTJs seemed to have no problems tearing each other apart in debate, hurt feelings were no part of it. This doesn't fit for me either, makes me feel very uncomfortable. (Fe)

I could very easily see many points of view, so I'd find myself agreeing with a little bit of this and a little bit of that. Person A, with a given background, says AB, but actually means ABC, and person B, with his own background, says BC, but actually also means ABC, so these two are in agreement but can't actually see that for themselves. (Ne/Ti/Fe)

Finally, the INTJs seemed to not care about what others think of them. This is not true for me. I wish I didn't, but I really do care. (Fe as opposed to Fi)

The above makes me believe that NF might be a better fit than NT, hence, my coming here. That said, I don't really feel like the INFJ description on PersonalityPage.com fits either, which is why I never considered that option. Mostly the 'experiences of a psychic nature'. Can't say I ever experienced any. (I'm seeing all Ne here and no apparent Ni. Importantly, I believe all your dialogue in this lengthy post is past/present as opposed to future tense. So I can say with some certainty that you aren't an INFJ).

So, that was some background. I feel quite ashamed about having to post this, cause it looks like I'm just rambling. But I've already rewritten and deleted so many posts, it'll just have to do. Ahem. (Ne)

Fire away! And thanks all (Fe, you don't know us yet you care how we all feel )

Sorry guys, being concise and to the point is not really my forte. (Ne)

 

[infinite dreams]

Can I first ask what difference it makes to you to know what mbti type you are? What are you trying to accomplish by knowing?

Hey there, Mr. INTJ! To paraphrase:

What do you hope to accomplish (i.e. what is your end goal)? (Ni)

What is the practical application of this question? (Te)

And some say MBTI isn't real...

 

[Ren]

Hey there, Mr. INTJ! To paraphrase:

What do you hope to accomplish (i.e. what is your end goal)? (Ni)

What is the practical application of this question? (Te)

And some say MBTI isn't real...

"To paraphrase" (Ti)

You might be right about ENTP though. I'm glad we both saw Ne-dom anyway. @Lady Jolanda saying "The test results felt much closer to my actual self this time, and specifically mentioned applying knowledge" suggested Te to me (hence ENFP - Te tertiary). But I agree with most of your Fe observations.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Thank you very much for your answers so far people. Food for thought. I will get back to you tomorrow evening.

 

[Happy Phantom]

Can I first ask what difference it makes to you to know what mbti type you are? What are you trying to accomplish by knowing?

What type am I EH?

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Okay, I've had a few busy days. I've been mulling your ideas over in my head and I've been doing a lot of reading, trying to see if ENTP could possibly fit me. I must admit, I've never really considered ENTP before. It's interesting to see that two people, (I assume) independently of one another, seem to conclude I'm a Ne user. As long as the independency assumption holds, that adds some merit to that line of reasoning.

Are you definite about being introverted?

I've had a lifetime of cPTSD due to an abusive family of origin and years of bullying, so I spend a lot of time alone by myself, feeling unsafe out in the world, afraid of other people. I realize 'shyness' is absolutely not the same thing as introversion, but yes, I generally felt energized by spending time alone, cause feeling afraid all the time is a pretty big drain on your energy reserves

So at this point, I'm keeping all options open. If you make a solid case for ESTJ or something equally absurd, I'll consider it. That said, yes I always figured I was an introvert cause I much prefer to spend time alone reading, gaming, listening to music, binge watching series or taking online courses than engage in small talk about the weather, who is related so such and so, someone's cousin just had their 2nd child, my great great great grandmother was married to this duke so that makes me a princess, my soccer club beat yours with 4 points in the lead, celebrity A cheated on celebrity B... Please kill me. I'll endure it out of politeness, but I certainly won't go looking for it.

On the other hand, do seek me out if you want to discuss your life aspirations, that dream you had last night, what you experienced during meditation, your boyfriend just broke up with you and you need a shoulder to cry on, you need someone to come with you to your doctor for moral support because you may be very ill, your computer broke down and need someone to help you troubleshoot/fix it, who your favorite character in star trek is and how that latest episode reflects the current real life political atmosphere. (Also, what's your harry potter house?) (Who wants to build a radio from scratch?) (What would happen if you tried to breathe in space?) (Why are some people more susceptible to peer pressure than others?) (Who's your favorite nazi? Mine's Josef Mengele. Genetics and twin studies are so interesting*.) (No? Ok.. hey, cool, a Coursera course on cancer biology. I'll be over there.)
(*Yes, I think that, no I'll never say that out loud, cause that will offend a hell of a lot of people. I mean no offense.)

Hey there, Mr. INTJ! To paraphrase:

What do you hope to accomplish (i.e. what is your end goal)? (Ni)

What is the practical application of this question? (Te)

Alright, good question. I was going to open two new topics to discuss this for the sake of structural clarity, but hell, I've rambled so much already, I'll just add to the chaos here.

Because of my past, I've made many choices based on fear. (Fear of rejection, fear of physical and mental abuse. In short, I had/have to hide my true self from the world cause the world deems it unacceptable. I don't mind sharing my story in depth but I don't really want to turn this topic into a pity party either.)

Meeting my ex INTP boyfriend changed all that, he came from a loving and supportive family, and he and his family showed me that some people can be trusted and that love is an actual real thing. He helped me through a lot of shit, made me believe life could in fact be better, supported me going through therapy. We were together for 8 years, he was/is the love of my life and losing him has been hard on me. (It's been a few months.) So that's topic 1: Trying to move on from my ex.

Topic 2 is that I have very little motivation to do my studies, I'm stuck writing my thesis. I'm bored. You see, I have two settings: I'm either a workaholic and then I forget to eat or sleep or shower* cause my brain is so busy so I'll research and analyze till deep in the night, or I'm bored out of my skull and procrastinate all week long.

So combining all that information: I'm finishing up therapy now and, truth be told, I have no clue who I am anymore. I used to have it all figured out. My life plan.* Study biology. Graduate cum laude. Get a PhD before 30. Go into cancer research. Cure cancer. Save the human race from illness and suffering. Become a professor. Prove to the world that I'm worth the oxygen I breathe.* Maybe I'll finally be loved and accepted then.
*Hence why I believed to be an INTJ? Overly naive long term goal (Ni), concerned with competence (Te?) and how I look to the world (Inferior Se?), getting lost in my head and forgetting about my surroundings (Inf Se again?)
-> But as Infinite Dreams so nicely pointed out in his function based analysis, if I use Ti/Fe, not Te/Fi, that makes INTJ impossible. Excluding the sensing types, that leaves me with ENFJ, INFJ, INTP or ENTP as options. I considered myself an introvert, and always believed extroverted sensing to be my inferior function, so then by the process of elimination, I ended up on INFJ. Except that didn't fit perfectly either. Ugh.

Who am I free of this mental illness? Which parts of my personality are still left over trauma's and which parts are just 'normal' personality attributes? What do I really want out of life? What do I require to be happy? What kind of job do I want to do? Do I want to switch studies? Why do I like too many damn things? Why can't I just make up my mind?

I want to find myself, and from there on, get my life in order. As Loki would say, I'm burdened with glorious purpose, but I have no idea what it is.

 

[Eventhorizon]

It sounds to me like you need to step back for a time and find yourself.
Somewhere in there you said something about being worth the air you breathe. You have a much worth as anyone breathing air on this planet so...
Your life shouldn't be about others. Not that you have to be selfish but your goals and Just living should be about you First and foremost. If you don't recognize that quite honestly you need to. Trying to live your life for others is a sure way to never find out who you are.
I would go exploring. Take trips, big ones, small ones...both.

Best of luck.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Thank you for your kind words Eventhorizon. I will take your advice of taking trips to heart. If you don't mind, I'm not going anywhere near a black hole though.
Perhaps I didn't make myself clear, but that part about not being worth the air I breathe is how I used to think, pre-therapy, and as such my life goals were based on that. I now believe I am inherently worthy of living, so I'm indeed in the process of trying to find out what I want and need, instead of always living life for other people.

 

[Ginny]

I'll just throw my hat in the ring here and claim that I also believe you have Ne. Your long-ish posts seem like you wrote them straight from your mind, without (much) editing, but also in a manner that is easy to follow.

It might sound like a weird question, but it also might help narrow it down: what behaviour irritates you or simply drives you up the wall?

 

[Ren]

Okay, I've had a few busy days. I've been mulling your ideas over in my head and I've been doing a lot of reading, trying to see if ENTP could possibly fit me. I must admit, I've never really considered ENTP before. It's interesting to see that two people, (I assume) independently of one another, seem to conclude I'm a Ne user. As long as the independency assumption holds, that adds some merit to that line of reasoning.



I've had a lifetime of cPTSD due to an abusive family of origin and years of bullying, so I spend a lot of time alone by myself, feeling unsafe out in the world, afraid of other people. I realize 'shyness' is absolutely not the same thing as introversion, but yes, I generally felt energized by spending time alone, cause feeling afraid all the time is a pretty big drain on your energy reserves

So at this point, I'm keeping all options open. If you make a solid case for ESTJ or something equally absurd, I'll consider it. That said, yes I always figured I was an introvert cause I much prefer to spend time alone reading, gaming, listening to music, binge watching series or taking online courses than engage in small talk about the weather, who is related so such and so, someone's cousin just had their 2nd child, my great great great grandmother was married to this duke so that makes me a princess, my soccer club beat yours with 4 points in the lead, celebrity A cheated on celebrity B... Please kill me. I'll endure it out of politeness, but I certainly won't go looking for it.

On the other hand, do seek me out if you want to discuss your life aspirations, that dream you had last night, what you experienced during meditation, your boyfriend just broke up with you and you need a shoulder to cry on, you need someone to come with you to your doctor for moral support because you may be very ill, your computer broke down and need someone to help you troubleshoot/fix it, who your favorite character in star trek is and how that latest episode reflects the current real life political atmosphere. (Also, what's your harry potter house?) (Who wants to build a radio from scratch?) (What would happen if you tried to breathe in space?) (Why are some people more susceptible to peer pressure than others?) (Who's your favorite nazi? Mine's Josef Mengele. Genetics and twin studies are so interesting*.) (No? Ok.. hey, cool, a Coursera course on cancer biology. I'll be over there.)
(*Yes, I think that, no I'll never say that out loud, cause that will offend a hell of a lot of people. I mean no offense.)



Alright, good question. I was going to open two new topics to discuss this for the sake of structural clarity, but hell, I've rambled so much already, I'll just add to the chaos here.

Because of my past, I've made many choices based on fear. (Fear of rejection, fear of physical and mental abuse. In short, I had/have to hide my true self from the world cause the world deems it unacceptable. I don't mind sharing my story in depth but I don't really want to turn this topic into a pity party either.)

Meeting my ex INTP boyfriend changed all that, he came from a loving and supportive family, and he and his family showed me that some people can be trusted and that love is an actual real thing. He helped me through a lot of shit, made me believe life could in fact be better, supported me going through therapy. We were together for 8 years, he was/is the love of my life and losing him has been hard on me. (It's been a few months.) So that's topic 1: Trying to move on from my ex.

Topic 2 is that I have very little motivation to do my studies, I'm stuck writing my thesis. I'm bored. You see, I have two settings: I'm either a workaholic and then I forget to eat or sleep or shower* cause my brain is so busy so I'll research and analyze till deep in the night, or I'm bored out of my skull and procrastinate all week long.

So combining all that information: I'm finishing up therapy now and, truth be told, I have no clue who I am anymore. I used to have it all figured out. My life plan.* Study biology. Graduate cum laude. Get a PhD before 30. Go into cancer research. Cure cancer. Save the human race from illness and suffering. Become a professor. Prove to the world that I'm worth the oxygen I breathe.* Maybe I'll finally be loved and accepted then.
*Hence why I believed to be an INTJ? Overly naive long term goal (Ni), concerned with competence (Te?) and how I look to the world (Inferior Se?), getting lost in my head and forgetting about my surroundings (Inf Se again?)
-> But as Infinite Dreams so nicely pointed out in his function based analysis, if I use Ti/Fe, not Te/Fi, that makes INTJ impossible. Excluding the sensing types, that leaves me with ENFJ, INFJ, INTP or ENTP as options. I considered myself an introvert, and always believed extroverted sensing to be my inferior function, so then by the process of elimination, I ended up on INFJ. Except that didn't fit perfectly either. Ugh.

Who am I free of this mental illness? Which parts of my personality are still left over trauma's and which parts are just 'normal' personality attributes? What do I really want out of life? What do I require to be happy? What kind of job do I want to do? Do I want to switch studies? Why do I like too many damn things? Why can't I just make up my mind?

I want to find myself, and from there on, get my life in order. As Loki would say, I'm burdened with glorious purpose, but I have no idea what it is.

@Lady Jolanda You are not an Ne user.... you are an Ne virtuoso

I don't think INTJs have overly naive long term goals concerned with competence. They tend to have a long-term but concrete vision at the service of which they put their competence, if the difference makes sense? As an Ni user, I don't really relate to the thought process that comes across in your paragraph about "do seek me out if you are looking for..." ranging from meditation to star trek to cancer biology. My mind doesn't work like that, I would rather take one of these and explore it from a bunch of different angles, but I wouldn't branch out (ideation-wise) nearly as much.

You don't trike me as an Fi-dom, so INFP is ruled out. If you really are an introvert, then INTP, but I'd still be inclined towards either of the two Ne-dom types. The INTPs that I've met and interacted with have tended to be a little less spontaneous about expressing their multitude of ideas on the fly, probably due to Ti-dom. There just is a sparkly feel about your thought process that makes me think Ne-dom.

And I'm glad to read that you believe in your worth again very glad!

 

[Ren]

What type am I EH?

Your profile says INFJ, but I wouldn't be surprised if you had relatively strong Fi along with that

 

[Happy Phantom]

Your profile says INFJ, but I wouldn't be surprised if you had relatively strong Fi along with that

Spot on! J/k. Perhaps my posting style comes off that way.

 

[Lady Jolanda]

I'll just throw my hat in the ring here and claim that I also believe you have Ne. Your long-ish posts seem like you wrote them straight from your mind, without (much) editing, but also in a manner that is easy to follow.

It might sound like a weird question, but it also might help narrow it down: what behaviour irritates you or simply drives you up the wall?

You're right, I did write that post straight from my mind. And thank you for the compliment.
Your question is not a weird question at all. You're trying to find my inferior function by seeing what kind of behaviour I dis-own? And even if it were a weird qusetion, I don't mind 'weird'. Weird is after all just a deviation from the norm, something unusual, therefore interesting. It's quite a hard question to answer though! Do you mean what irritates me in my own behaviour or in the behaviour of other people?

In other people:
Breaking trust. Trust is a real big thing for me. There's this Dutch proverb that fits here: Trust comes on foot but leaves on horseback. I value honesty, integrity, authenticity and openness. So:

Flakiness. (Repeatedly) changing plans at the last possible moment with some lame excuse, when I was looking forward to seeing you. Hey asshole. I made time for you. I value your time and company but you don't value mine?
Dishonesty. Lying. Keeping important things from me. I open up to you, but you won't do the same to me?
Backstabbing. Telling me one thing to my face and then something completely different to another person behind my back. Hey coward. Tell me what you really think to my face.
Fakeness. Pretenders. Barf.
Bullies. Resorting to violence. Rioting retards. Oh you're so tough in a group the lot of you. But separated from each other you're all wimps, aren't you? You stand for nothing. You have no thoughts of your own. Can't put together one single coherent sentence, so you'll just use your fists. Oh yeah, you're so cool beating a random lone innocent person up. And that bus station you eviscerated, real great job. Want me to clap for you? Give you a standing ovation?

People have feelings you know. Stop being so inconsiderate and use that brain of yours for once. If you have one. Walking missing link.




Oh pft, I need a moment to calm down now. I'll go make some tea.

 

[Ginny]

You're right, I did write that post straight from my mind. And thank you for the compliment.
Your question is not a weird question at all. You're trying to find my inferior function by seeing what kind of behaviour I dis-own? And even if it were a weird qusetion, I don't mind 'weird'. Weird is after all just a deviation from the norm, something unusual, therefore interesting. It's quite a hard question to answer though! Do you mean what irritates me in my own behaviour or in the behaviour of other people?

In other people:
Breaking trust. Trust is a real big thing for me. There's this Dutch proverb that fits here: Trust comes on foot but leaves on horseback. I value honesty, integrity, authenticity and openness. So:

Flakiness. (Repeatedly) changing plans at the last possible moment with some lame excuse, when I was looking forward to seeing you. Hey asshole. I made time for you. I value your time and company but you don't value mine?
Dishonesty. Lying. Keeping important things from me. I open up to you, but you won't do the same to me?
Backstabbing. Telling me one thing to my face and then something completely different to another person behind my back. Hey coward. Tell me what you really think to my face.
Fakeness. Pretenders. Barf.
Bullies. Resorting to violence. Rioting retards. Oh you're so tough in a group the lot of you. But separated from each other you're all wimps, aren't you? You stand for nothing. You have no thoughts of your own. Can't put together one single coherent sentence, so you'll just use your fists. Oh yeah, you're so cool beating a random lone innocent person up. And that bus station you eviscerated, real great job. Want me to clap for you? Give you a standing ovation?

People have feelings you know. Stop being so inconsiderate and use that brain of yours for once. If you have one. Walking missing link.




Oh pft, I need a moment to calm down now. I'll go make some tea.

Kind of like that, but not the inferior function.

Sorry to have caused such distress, but I wasn't going for infractions of principles. Although... I might have an idea.

Do you think this may apply to you?

Unstable in maintaining psychological distance. May have trouble making clear attraction. Can hide their personal sentiments when pushed and avoids the public examination of their desires. Tend to be unaware of how others view them relationship wise, unstable in levels of trust. View relationships skeptically unless legitimized. This can result in a mistrust of others and a general wariness regarding others' opinions of them, potentially causing irrational behaviors based on misconceptions in this area. They appreciate people who can reassure them of the status of a relationship.
​

Or something more like this (it's either one or the other):

Typically respond poorly to and have difficulty applying volitional pressure. They treat most situations in calculated, rational, and realistic fashions, and they tend to have little response for individuals who operate outside of the boundaries of applying rational criteria to the situation at hand. They often have difficulty impelling others to follow their leadership; in practice, they often work independently. In possession of a problem that can't be solved intellectually, instead requiring direct personal confrontation may resort to total avoidance; feel that such a situation would in all likelihood produce only frustration and contempt. They may wish that everyone simply listened to reason.
May see attempts to rile them up or spring them into activity as crude, intrusive, and insulting to their intelligence. They may see such pushy or forceful attempts to control them as hopelessly closed-minded and at odds with their sense of intellectual freedom. They may have difficulty adapting to impulsive or spontaneous behavior, instead preferring stable environments that encourage an accepting and warm atmosphere.
Are often not cognizant of power dynamics and have little interest in who has control over a situation.
​

 

[Lady Jolanda]

Sorry to have caused such distress, but I wasn't going for infractions of principles. Although... I might have an idea.

That's quite alright, no worries What were you going for?

The new question you posed makes me a lot more uncomfortable cause the first one is right on the mark. Oh exposure and vulnerability, you are so beautiful yet so terrifying at the same time.

 

[Ginny]

That's quite alright, no worries What were you going for?

The new question you posed makes me a lot more uncomfortable cause the first one is right on the mark. Oh exposure and vulnerability, you are so beautiful yet so terrifying at the same time.

I was using socionics, more specifically the PoLR function. Not always accurate, since there are always people who have experience with their blind spots. If you really identify with the former definition, you are most likely an ENTP. To check with the whole description, you may want to read this. Don't worry about the order, socionics is a bit chaotic in the stacking if you're used to MBTI.