Willful change...

[Siamese cat]

Let's say you want to change something big in your life. It's not a necessary change, but you want it, and it's something big that will effect your everyday life greatly.

Explain how do you go from wishing it to doing it.

I'll give an example. Let's say that you are severely overweight (let's say you have more than a hundred pounds to lose to get to your healthy weight), but your health is not affected by it, so there is no medical reason why you have to do it. You just want it, and you think it would improve your quality of life.

Or another example. You live in a very urban surroundings but you want to go live somewhere more rural. There is no job opportunity why you must do it, or any other reason besides you just wanting to relocate.

To be more exact, you have something that is a relatively vague idea of what you want. So how do you get from that to actual realisation? Can you explain the steps, thought process, perceived obstacles and the way you deal with them?

 

[Wyote]

I was discussing this just a few days ago actually. I've decided to make myself a sort of "dream board" and just throw a bunch of things on it for some clarity. Then I can more readily map out steps, in theory.

 

[middle1]

After a lot of thought and even more procrastination I usually build up enough determination to just do it and get it done with.

 

[Norton]

Read Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity, By David Allen. There is no better book on this subject, in my opinion.

 

[Trifoilum]

Theoretically (so, without emotions involved):

1) Imagine what really is that I want. I found out it's easier for me to think in images; videos, or just snapshots.
2) from where I am now to my destination, drag a list of things I need / am lacking.
3) Repeat no.1. Rinse and Repeat.
4) Until it's small enough, then DO IT.

In practice, insert one or two of:
a) Calming myself down and assuring myself
b) Picking out idiosyncrasies between what I thought. Ended up running around analyzing or overanalyzing. Might be helpful, might be not.
c) Consoling myself to keep doing it / start doing things
d) Procrastinating
e) Talking to people and dealing with their reactions

 

[Siamese cat]

Anyone more want to contribute?

So far, responses were interesting. I have yet to read the proposed book, and Trifoilum's answer was very close to what I do usually.

 

[Gaze]

ok, you paint a clear picture of the goal.

1) Analyze - consider if it's what you really want to do
2) Discuss the potential benefits
3) Consider the possible changes or consequences
4) If decision is made to continue, make a plan to get it done
5) Break down each section or parts of the process into manageable units
6) Consider the time you willl you need to complete it - what you do now vs. later
7) See the steps to completion as tentative
8) Consider and reconsider your options after a few milestones have been reached
9) Find motivational markers to spur accomplishment
10) Use rewards to celebrate successes
11) Acknowledge hits and misses, but keep moving on
12) Wobble in guilt a little for not getting as far as you like
13) Take the next set of steps, until you reach the end
14) Acknowledge the journey, and the accomplishment
15) Restart cycle for another goal

 

[Atticus]

Let's say you want to change something big in your life. It's not a necessary change, but you want it, and it's something big that will effect your everyday life greatly.

Explain how do you go from wishing it to doing it.

I'll give an example. Let's say that you are severely overweight (let's say you have more than a hundred pounds to lose to get to your healthy weight), but your health is not affected by it, so there is no medical reason why you have to do it. You just want it, and you think it would improve your quality of life.

Or another example. You live in a very urban surroundings but you want to go live somewhere more rural. There is no job opportunity why you must do it, or any other reason besides you just wanting to relocate.

To be more exact, you have something that is a relatively vague idea of what you want. So how do you get from that to actual realisation? Can you explain the steps, thought process, perceived obstacles and the way you deal with them?

I think the key is to make that 'relatively vague' idea more than a concept. Visualize what you really want precisely then it's gonna be much easier to go on.

For example if you have a vague idea of changing to a more active lifestyle then you are not sure of course how to implement it. Does it enough to just go jogging a couple of times a week? What kind of sport do I want anyway? If I know it then what is the best place to pursue it? Which swimming pool for instance?

The italic words are the main points.

What you should not do is asking your mates about their opinion because if it's a big change - and I believe it is - it has a big risk factor. They would just bring that stuff up and make you uncertain again.

Decide it, and stick to it. Stick to your aims.

Roughly that's it. My opinion I mean.

 

[invisible]

i achieved this in terms of recovering from serious mental illness and the key for me was to take tiny little definite steps towards my goal every day. i wouldn't say i'm completely there but i am very nearly almost there and that's how i did it.