You don't have to feel that way.

Lucifer

Lucifer

Registered User #666
MBTI
INFP
I am a fairly unhappy person, yet I am hopeful because I hit on a form of cognitive therapy that works quite well.

It is called the Sedona method you might have heard of it but I will elaborate some of its core principles right now.

The basic tenet of this theory is that our feelings are transient, we can choose to let them go. So lets say I am angry, afraid, guilty, or/and insecure, I can use the excercises in the method to let go one or all of these feelings. The remarkable things is that using this method these feelings will leave, and you achieve a sense of inner peace.

Sometimes its hard because I've grown accustomed to the thought processes that make me miserable. But any time a negative feeling arises I just think to myself "I don't have to feel (or think) that way." There is no law of physics saying you must react in a certain way. We create our limitations.

It makes me feel lots better
 
Hmm, to be quite honest, I'd be really uneasy about this method. Although they are uncomfortable to experience, we do have negative emotions for a reason. They're supposed to act as our guides. Depression, anxiety, guilt, fear... they're here to tell us something about ourselves and our way of thinking. And they intensify when we haven't discovered healthy ways to deal with them, or if our thought patterns and beliefs about ourselves are skewed. Ignoring or "letting go" of inconvenient emotions seems more like a quick fix than a long-term form of therapy.

There's a reason why 'sedona' and 'sedate' sound alike; it's emotional numbing. It doesn't fix the underlying thought fallacies that contribute to their experiences.

This might be an interesting method to utilize while meditating, and still trying to work through your problems rationally... but just focusing on that 'peace' without any sort of reason-based cognitive work sounds like it might cause more problems in the long run.

But hey, if it works for you, I only wish you the best of luck with your treatment.
 
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Hopeful is good dear. Stay with it. Write me if you need encouragement :)

Ooh I have lots of book recommendations too. Let me know if you want them.
 
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Interesting... I'm glad it is working for you!

I 100% agree, our feelings are transient.

I tend to believe (through personal experience) that we must allow feelings to exist, to stop fighting them, before we can choose to let them go. Feelings can be powerful that way. For me at least they can be.

I think any method that allows some measure of acceptance will help.

Again, through personal experience, I find it is more helpful to say something like "Okay, I'm (mad, sad, bored, giddy with excitement, whatever...), I am going to allow myself to feel this way because these things are all a part of life, and are all transient."

It is such a freeing and true statement: "There is no law of physics saying you must react in a certain way." We often have little control over our emotions (which are transient but powerful) but tons of control over our actions (which can have lasting consequences, positive and negative.)

If you are feeling better whatever we all say is just food for thought, of course.:cool:
 
Trying to force feelings out makes them stronger. Accept them whether they come or go; stay in the center. If you're bound to letting them go, you're making them stronger.
 
Dragon said:
Trying to force feelings out makes them stronger. Accept them whether they come or go; stay in the center. If you're bound to letting them go, you're making them stronger.
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Ah I agree... this is my theory as well. :)
 
Reminds me a bit of Buddhist Mindfulness.

Things that plague us to the point of neurosis should be reigned in. The more you agonize over being depressed, the deeper you wallow and sink. This method seems to be empowering, as it gives you the choice whether or not to be hijacked by negative emotions.
 
I suppose I can understand how the technique works, but I agree with Dragon as well.
Trying to make a feeling go away is to acknowledge that it exists, which seems counter-productive to me.
If it works for you though, then good luck!
 
There's a book by Guy Finlay called 'Freedom From The Ties That Bind' that has worked wonders for me, it's about catching negative thoughts/feelings then releasing them. It really doesn't take that much work to get the hang of it. I say give this Sedona Method a good try, if it works it will bring you some peace.
 
I think, i have one eboook, it is about sedona method.

I know you are talking about letting go to achieve emotional health and mastery. :D

I did not read book yet. Can you tell me about it in details? I am curious to know about it. I also want to learn about this method.

Book name is: The insider's guide to the sedona method.
 
I have tried EFT which seems similar to Sedona in the description
but it hasn't worked for me.. I actually don't like the process even

I am getting interested in hypnotism... It seems faster, more efficient
 
Lucifer said:
I am a fairly unhappy person, yet I am hopeful because I hit on a form of cognitive therapy that works quite well.

It is called the Sedona method you might have heard of it but I will elaborate some of its core principles right now.

The basic tenet of this theory is that our feelings are transient, we can choose to let them go. So lets say I am angry, afraid, guilty, or/and insecure, I can use the excercises in the method to let go one or all of these feelings. The remarkable things is that using this method these feelings will leave, and you achieve a sense of inner peace.

Sometimes its hard because I've grown accustomed to the thought processes that make me miserable. But any time a negative feeling arises I just think to myself "I don't have to feel (or think) that way." There is no law of physics saying you must react in a certain way. We create our limitations.

It makes me feel lots better
Click to expand...


I have done this as well. My former manager at work would always say how it is "your choice" whether to be angry or not, definitely a T.

I can't specifically tell myself to feel a certain way, and it doesn't help me with depression, but it does help with sudden circumstancial emotions, especially anger.

It just helps me to take a step back which allows a bit of logic to creep in, although I am still usually quite reserved even when I am angry.
 
I don't know if this is similar but I, too, tend to treat my feelings as transitory. I don't fight them at all...I just let them be. I treat them like the weather...I don't get all bent out of shape if it is raining...it just is!!

But I do observe them from another place....the "I." "Me" experiences all kinds of feelings, "I" remains centered, rooted, in a place where "all is well"...a spiritual center. Developing the place of "I" is the tricky part, but that has worked out well for me. So, yes, I let the feelings "me" is experiencing just happen, but rather than fight them, I add to them with the experience of "I."

For me, taking an additive approach has always worked much better than trying to "get rid of things/feelings." I try to add new information, awareness, alternate perspectives so rather than seeking to overcoming inner obstacles with sheer will power, I just "see through/past" them. This approach seeks to move beyond my illusions and towards more complete, well-rounded, objective truth. In this manner, new patterns are bolstered with some very, very substantial stuff and I tend to see behaviors/feelings I find limiting just melting away without much effort at all. Any effort I do expend is simply used in building/seeing in my inner life. This energy tends to send ripple effects to many areas far beyond the immediate issue at hand, so I think it is a good use of energy.
 
Hmm, this method just worked for me :) I was eating too much, which I do most of the time if I'm kind of down. I read this post and stopped and felt different. It would depend on the situation and the mood and mindframe I was in as to whether it would work or not though.
 
randomsomeone said:
I don't know if this is similar but I, too, tend to treat my feelings as transitory. I don't fight them at all...I just let them be. I treat them like the weather...I don't get all bent out of shape if it is raining...it just is!!

But I do observe them from another place....the "I." "Me" experiences all kinds of feelings, "I" remains centered, rooted, in a place where "all is well"...a spiritual center. Developing the place of "I" is the tricky part, but that has worked out well for me. So, yes, I let the feelings "me" is experiencing just happen, but rather than fight them, I add to them with the experience of "I."

For me, taking an additive approach has always worked much better than trying to "get rid of things/feelings." I try to add new information, awareness, alternate perspectives so rather than seeking to overcoming inner obstacles with sheer will power, I just "see through/past" them. This approach seeks to move beyond my illusions and towards more complete, well-rounded, objective truth. In this manner, new patterns are bolstered with some very, very substantial stuff and I tend to see behaviors/feelings I find limiting just melting away without much effort at all. Any effort I do expend is simply used in building/seeing in my inner life. This energy tends to send ripple effects to many areas far beyond the immediate issue at hand, so I think it is a good use of energy.
Click to expand...

It's come to the point for me where I've come to closure with the feelings and incident.. Before at times when I remembered the past, my body would start reacting negatively and although now I am fine, the body still behaves in that way, almost like it formed into a meaningless habit.
 
Lucifer said:
The basic tenet of this theory is that our feelings are transient, we can choose to let them go. So lets say I am angry, afraid, guilty, or/and insecure, I can use the exercises in the method to let go one or all of these feelings. The remarkable things is that using this method these feelings will leave, and you achieve a sense of inner peace.
Click to expand...

Very Buddhist. But it's catching on in the West too.

In some forms of therapy, there is the use of a technique called "radical acceptance." Namely, you ask yourself, "if I can't change a thing about the situation, what can I do?" Most people will tend to calm down when they do that. Another way is to pay intense attention to the emotion instead of ignoring it, and the same will generally happen.

When you start doing it on a regular basis (mindfulness/metaprocessing/etc..), it becomes a habit, and I find it's a very good vehicle for personal growth. However, that's a completely separate topic. :)
 
Serenity Now! Serenity Now!

I am a master of the Sedona method *nodnodnod*
 
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