Sounds like I'm in a similar situation as you, the more things become clear the more I realize that things don't make sense. I do understand myself better and many things are much clearer but it's never ending, the more you dig and find, the more things come up so you have to keep digging.
However, I am just getting to the end of a very long process that I was scared to go through and I've made it out feeling more than allright. It was worth it. I am so much stronger and lighter than before. But now what? I am absolutely certain of certain things but completely unsure of the rest. I keep telling myself to embrace the uncertainty, because that's just life.