La Sagna

how are you?

Hello

im happy, because in the past i have often appreciated your expressions of understanding towards me!

yesterday i fixed my mother's television reception, helped her with a document for her work, and put rubber and foam sealing around our external doors to keep the warmth in. today, i sat in a garden chair in the winter sunlight on the glorious lawn my mother maintains, drinking my coffee, and devoting my undivided attention to detailing my 20 nails for well over an hour, like as if i were some kind of treasured automobile. pure luxury.

Glad I'm not the only one!

Thanks for the @rep! You are probably right and he is just a nice person but I am more distrustful than usual these days. I will get over it, I think but right now I am in protection mode.

Love me some Sylvia Plath! Thought you might too

Haha, those are all really good arguments for not going on an online dating site. Better don't do online dating then

Yes dating life can be depressing. At least I think it is. I haven't been lucky when I was younger so now I'm in the dating life for about a year (not really dating very often though) and still not lucky. My next new tactic is exposure, but not through a website. I'm just going to approach a lot of girls. Statistically the more girls I approach the more likely I am to meet the right one

But isn't a first meeting also just looking at a label? You can't possibly get to know someone perfectly on a first encounter. Oh well, maybe INFJs can
It's similar to walking in a crowd, except on a dating site you can see labels that often show important criteria for dating. It makes it a lot easier.
If you were in a crowd, you'd have to approach everyone to find out. On a dating site you already know some important basics and you know the other is also looking to date. So you don't waste your time with people who don't want to.

I believe a large part of dating is already dehumanising. Dating sites just make that part quicker and more efficient. The human part of dating is left intact. After you first met someone, you go on dates and get to know each other. That part is not happening on the dating site and is exactly the same as when you meet someone in real life. And especially for introverts the dating site is much less overwhelming and scary.

People will treat people bad everywhere, not just on dating sites. Nowhere in life you can chitchat in everybody, dating sites aren't any different. The difference is that you have more exposure on dating sites. More guys will see your profile, increasing the chance of encountering dicks and potential interests alike. You can then politely decline those you do not want to invest time in (you don't have to talk to everyone!) and talk to the interesting ones.

I'm always in favour of seeing things like technically really are and not what values society has given to them. I agree that one could see it like a grocery store and I agree that that is dehumanising, but is that bad? It only dehumanises the introduction slightly and in turn makes it easier and more efficient. The largely human part remains intact.

How is it dehumanising?
I guess you'd have to be confident, but that helps anywhere in life.

Oh and about fitting in nowhere. I think you fit in perfectly on this forum ;D

I get that feeling sometimes, for sure, but I don't think that's how it is for me most of the time. I think I just find shared pleasure (me and others at the same time) more fulfilling than independent pleasure. In general.

I mean that we have the same feelings towards the same experience, and that amplifies the feeling because I know we are both having the same experience of something. It's a bonding sort of thing.

Probably. It's a weird feeling because I have this cerebral left-brain acknowledgement that something happened, but my right brain is just niggling at me with "...but what if you're just really imaginative or straight-up delusional?"

It's never stopped me from solitary activities, but it's an uncomfortable feeling when it presents itself. I think, for myself, the reason it comes up is because I really like to share experiences with others, and having a really cool experience that's all my own almost feels selfish, and it doesn't give you that emotional high you get from shared recollection, you know?

thanks for the rep and also for reading my blog! not too many people do unless i direct them there lol

I was thinking of getting the book. I probably will.

I'm laughing about it now. It was just totally unexpected.

Thanks for the @rep! Should have come here for the love.

As someone who has been with an estp for so long, do you have any advice on how someone like me might realistically improve their ability to empathize and be more gentle with others and their feelings?

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." - Bertrand Russell

Nice quote, are you a fan of mathematical philosophy?

Wow!! All the thumbs raining down!!