You know what else I think it is that offends us? We are unspoken & subtle in many respects, (except for when we LIKE someone!), and we feel people should be picking up on our cues, and most CAN'T. The underlying causes for the actions we preform, as with most of our feelings, are well hidden from the naked eye. It takes, time, practice, interest, & intuition to read an INFJ, and few people will bother...
I feel like I am silently SCREAMING all of these emotions all the time, especially while vacuuming, etc., but I'm so controlled that few notice anything is awry. Sigh... such is life. Perhaps we should fear conflict LESS, and be direct with people MORE. Haha.