Many questions you ask that I have no answer for. My brother died 16 years ago. When I put that time here its almost unbelievable to me. Time is moving so fast now. Too fast.
Anyway, I dont know reasons why things are the way they are. I look at life differently now for a variety of reasons. Back then though I felt so many things. I felt if I had been smarter, could have used better words, if I had more feeling or a better way to communicate with him things might have turned out differently. But lets be serious for a second. In the end the only person I really feel anything for is me. My brother no matter where he is, is in a better place than here. Its not him I have to worry about. Its me and the fact I am that much more alone without him in this world. Its selfishness that allows me to be sad and angry hes not around anymore.
I only hope theres some hope that hoping beyond hope he still exists in someway and that hes whole and at peace is possible.
