[INFJ] "all my good friends call me wilderness" -- The clarity in finding your INFJ identity

[CharlieG]

No one can say being an INFJ is easy, in fact it can be pretty damn hard. But surrounding the difficulties there is a gold lining that makes everything alright.

I found out a week ago that I was an INFJ, previous to that I had never heard of Meyers, or Briggs, or INFJ. What I did know is that I was different than most other people, there was this glass I was seeing the world through but I couldn't break through it, I analyzed and analyzed until I thought I had a correct idea of how people and myself worked at a fundamental level, but there was always a piece missing that I couldn't figure out. The void of that missing piece ended up being filled with self doubt, a yearning to be different and the constant question of "what's wrong with me". Eventually the negativity manifested itself in a depression I hope no one else has to go through, but like most awful things in life you find the good in it and take it in stride, which was where my turning point was. Instead of outwardly searching for myself among other people and outside influences I learned to look inside. I began the search to find and become comfortable with the man I am, and after months of slowly coming to a realization I took a Myers Briggs test....and my eyes opened. I realized that there was never anything wrong at all, that I am just as human as everyone else, and I even have brothers and sisters who go through the same struggles I do. The most relieving feeling in the world is realizing that you're not alone. As I read pages of information describing exactly how my mind worked in a way I could never put into words, I realized how lucky we are to be the 1% who have the ability to think the way we do, we are the thinkers and the seers of the world and can see a beauty in life that few others can. We have a constant yearning to grow to our full potential that I can only hope remains until the day we die. We can see things in people they can't even see in themselves. And above all we know how to love in its truest and most honest form.

Life is a constant search for the equilibrium of being true to your self, and embracing who you are is an invaluable sway towards it.

I would love to hear YOUR stories, struggles, and successes in understanding your inner INFJ and inner self


-Charlie


"All my good friends call me Wilderness" ----> (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD3E3qKh1d8)

 

[Kgal]

What a marvelous post - and cool music no less - to experience with my morning coffee!

Thank you.

Welcome. Welcome. :welcome:

 

[knight in battle]

The easy thing is discovering that you are INFJ. The harder thing is determining which parts of yourself are actually INFP.

The biggest difficulty about being INFJ: Feeling good and fully at peace about the things I enjoy and my pace of life without being overly critical of myself. Maybe my daily activities are limited and sometimes "boring" by social standards. But you have to just decide that your interests are worthwhile and valuable. <------- requires lots of self-esteem and determination

 

[Trifoilum]

I don't know;
behind clarity hides a million secrets untold.
behind an identity, a million peculiarities uncovered.

What I understood is that the more I tried, the less I get; whether it's in proving my identity OR relinquishing my identity.
Balance? Not really, more like the tug of war.

This is contradicting on the surface; but no matter what your identity is, be yourself.

 

[bubah]

Charlie G, I went through something similar to you. I thought a lot of stuff was wrong with me that really wasn't. In retrospect, I spent a long time going against my natural tendencies as an INFJ, trying to be an ESTJ instead (I did not know of the MBTI at this time). Very destructive, and led to a lot of really stupid and damaging actions on my part towards myself. I struggled with being the person I thought I should be, and the person I was and wanted to be. When I took the MBTI, I was already well on my way to accepting my strengths as strengths, which before I thought were weaknesses, and after the MBTI, I found it easier to accept, and develop myself.

Thanks for sharing, it helps to know I'm nothing special on this. That wouldn't be cool.

 

[CharlieG]

It amazes me how similar all of our experiences have been. Bubah, I completely understand what you mean when you say you tried to be someone else. That was me all through out high school and my first year of college, I was constantly looking for other people or other personality types to try and be rather than figure out what i'm supposed to be and it was destructive just like you said. I find it interesting that you say you were well on your way to a realization by the time you took the MBTI because I was the same way, I had slowly come to realize who I was and how to accept what my strengths were, taking the test really just put what I had come to know in a more tangible form that I could more clearly understand.

and yes, it is an amazing feeling after years of thinking your special or different to realize that there are others who know exactly what you're going through, it can really remove a burden.

 

[bubah]

That's pretty amazing, because for me, it was all of high school and the first year of college as well. But yeah, the test just made me really excited to be who I am for that very reason, it became tangible and understandable - or about as understandable as we can be put. I always love how INFJ's are described as: "...intricately and deeply woven, mysterious, and highly complex, sometimes puzzling even to themselves. They have an orderly view toward the world, but are internally arranged in a complex way that only they can understand" - that totally tells you nothing, but it's something I identify with so completely. It's like "'Puzzling,' yes, that's just the word I've been looking for to not-describe myself."

 

[#@&5&49]

The clarity in finding my INFJ identity.

It validated what I had felt and known for years. Provided words that I could attach thoughts and feelings to. Caused a realignment in my thinking like any new information does. Inspired me to start hanging around this forum! I have to say that overall it feels like a mixed bag though. I mean 1% is a very small amount of people. Kind of like being a redwood in a forest of oaks. Different trees require different food to survive and thrive, different amounts of sunlight, different soil to grow, etc. Hard to find all the stuff you need as a redwood when everything caters to oaks. hwell: