Annoying Kids

HenRick said:
I have constantly have seen younger kids that are spoiled and really need a spaking
or discipline yet they don't receive it.

Like for example. My little cousin always intimidates and hits people.
He always makes my sister (who is ISFJ like my dad) cry. He's 5 and
she is 9! He throws rocks at me so I stop him from getting any more
rocks. He starts crying so his Dad(ISTP) his brother (ENTJ), and my grandma
lets him have his way all the time.

He is funny and charming but when he's not he really needs discipline.
He is always saying I don't care when I give him a lecture.

My dad (ISFJ) does agree with me and often convices the others when his dad isn't around
to not let him have his way.

Theres also this little girl who chokes the dogs to death and also make my sister cry because
of she doesn't really care about other peoples feeling sometimes. She always with her mom
who also doesn't discipline her.

My other cousin was raised the same way yet he grew up fine.
I wonder if the kids will be able to grow up the right way since there parents don't seem of
much help in disciplining them.
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Man that's too bad. I have been around kids like that and it usually don't end up good. I hate having to discipline my kids. It sucks! I remember being a kid and saying "When I have kids I am never gonna yell at them". Well the ignorance of youth huh. I now understand that if you truly love your kids you have to protect them from themselves. It's that simple for me.
 
Flavus Aquila said:
Whenever I am around small kids (not that often) they always start trying to climb all over me, or to hang from my neck, or will hold onto my leg so I can't walk properly.

If they weren't so cute, it would be bloody annoying. Kids can get away with way too much with me.



(For non-Australians, Bloody is know as the "Great Australian Adjective" - it basically just means "very").
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Bloody Oath.
 
In Australia if kids get a spanking they are taken off their parents by social services. Even if it is just for discipline.
 
Why are these kids so sociopathic? That's what I want to know.
 
Reminds me of that King of the Hill episode.
 
When I was little, I used to laugh shoot my mouth off even more when I got spanked. I know nothing of these lines that you speak of.
 
I think there are a lot of consequences to how one raises children, both through discipline and leading by example. Think of what happens when you are eating and you give a dog a scrap of food off your plate while you are still eating -- he will learn to stare at you and beg while you are eating. Too often people take shortcuts that do not work out well. A parent who spanks a child as a primary punishment may teach that child to hit in order to gain attention and respect, and a parent who yells at a child will find that they must gradually increase their yelling dosage as the child begins to develop a tolerance to it -- to the point where the parent must constantly yell at their children in order to get them to do anything. Overall I'd advocate for respect and consistency rather than fear and shame.

I'm pretty decent at taking care of other peoples kids for the reason is that i'm affectionate AND authoritative (watch 'the dog whisperer' and you will understand how and where to apply authority) without letting my buttons get pushed, and respectful to even unruly children, trying to talk to them on some level in between mine and theirs -- and the punishments I administer are only as strong as it needs to be. If i've been around a kid long enough he knows exactly what to expect if he acts up. And in situations where the morality is not understood, I will try to explain the 'why' -- simply because when I was a kid, I wanted to know why certain rules existed -- but felt deprived and resentful towards adults who would not explain it. If a child sincerely believes I am acting in his best interest he is more likely to follow me.
----


And so he advances yet does not seek fame.
He retreats yet does not avoid blame.
He seeks only to preserve the people, and his advantage accords with that of the ruler.
He is the treasure of the state.

He looks upon the troops as his children.
Thus they can venture into deep river valleys with him.
He looks upon the troops as his beloved sons.
Thus they can die together with him.

He is generous yet unable to lead.
He is loving yet unable to give orders.
He is chaotic and unable to bring order.
They are like spoiled children. They cannot be employed

~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War (Denma Translation) -- Chapter 10: Forms of the Earth
 
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Zero Angel said:
I think there are a lot of consequences to how one raises children, both through discipline and leading by example. Think of what happens when you are eating and you give a dog a scrap of food off your plate while you are still eating -- he will learn to stare at you and beg while you are eating. Too often people take shortcuts that do not work out well. A parent who spanks a child as a primary punishment may teach that child to hit in order to gain attention and respect, and a parent who yells at a child will find that they must gradually increase their yelling dosage as the child begins to develop a tolerance to it -- to the point where the parent must constantly yell at their children in order to get them to do anything. Overall I'd advocate for respect and consistency rather than fear and shame.

I'm pretty decent at taking care of other peoples kids for the reason is that i'm affectionate AND authoritative (watch 'the dog whisperer' and you will understand how and where to apply authority) without letting my buttons get pushed, and respectful to even unruly children, trying to talk to them on some level in between mine and theirs -- and the punishments I administer are only as strong as it needs to be. If i've been around a kid long enough he knows exactly what to expect if he acts up. And in situations where the morality is not understood, I will try to explain the 'why' -- simply because when I was a kid, I wanted to know why certain rules existed -- but felt deprived and resentful towards adults who would not explain it. If a child sincerely believes I am acting in his best interest he is more likely to follow me.
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I definitely agree with you, but I can say that it's not nearly as easy to get someone else's kids to mind as it is to get your own kids to mind. I used to feel the same way you do, because I've always been successful at getting other people's kids to respect and mind me, even if they weren't like that with their parents. But, kids are more willing to test the boundaries with their parents and any other "primary" caregiver. ALSO, there are many kids that don't give a shit about the reasons and expectations - some people are born with the instinct to do what they want and fuck everything else.

I think you have to use fear and shame, at least for some children. People should learn shame. Look at these girls on the "Girls Gone Wild" videos and the celebutards. Their parents obviously didn't teach them shame. They flash their snatches to the world (free of charge, no less) while they know their parents, grandparents, etc. will see the commercials on TV and seem to not care. I have enough respect for my parents and grandparents that I would never want them to be embarrassed to have me as a child. With that said...I actually think that respect and shame go together.
 
Experience will teach children what is right and wrong. They must be conditioned though; there are many motivations that can be used to make sure a child doesn't turn out to be a bad teenager or adult.

Raising a child does require an expenditure in time and proper care: I am surprised that more parents don't take this responsibility more seriously.
 
WickedPod said:
I definitely agree with you, but I can say that it's not nearly as easy to get someone else's kids to mind as it is to get your own kids to mind. I used to feel the same way you do, because I've always been successful at getting other people's kids to respect and mind me, even if they weren't like that with their parents. But, kids are more willing to test the boundaries with their parents and any other "primary" caregiver. ALSO, there are many kids that don't give a shit about the reasons and expectations - some people are born with the instinct to do what they want and fuck everything else.

I think you have to use fear and shame, at least for some children. People should learn shame. Look at these girls on the "Girls Gone Wild" videos and the celebutards. Their parents obviously didn't teach them shame. They flash their snatches to the world (free of charge, no less) while they know their parents, grandparents, etc. will see the commercials on TV and seem to not care. I have enough respect for my parents and grandparents that I would never want them to be embarrassed to have me as a child. With that said...I actually think that respect and shame go together.
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Spoken like a true INFJ! You're probably right. I'm a fan of 'least necessary force' which takes into account the variables of the situation -- in which case the caregiver needs to exert a large amount of force at a given time, yet can get away with exerting a gentler amount of force where he senses other variables of the problem may be different.

As an example I have 3 nieces: QT (oldest, ISFJ, 9 years), TM (middle, (I?)TP, 6 years) and TA (smallest, IJ, 3 years).

QT is the most responsible one and is extremely good at listening to adults. TM is more free spirited and tomboyish. Usually QT, TM and TA would stay in the same room but QT recently got her own room. I had observed what would happen when I asked the girls to clean their rooms before. QT would do all the work and TM would be bounding around and never able to focus.

When QT got her own room, it became TM's responsibility to keep her room decently clean. I realized in order to do this I would have to confine TM to her room, saying she can come out when it was clean -- so I did so and she was so unhappy she was crying, and it hurt me to hear her cry but I had to be strict and keep her in her room for several minutes. When I seen she was finally starting to make an effort I offered to help her, and did a half the work for her, showing her where everything should go, and how to sweep and pick up garbage. Overall it took 40 minutes from the time I confined her, to the time we both finished. The second time I had to use less force and she listened to me and started cleaning almost right away, consequently I had to help her less as she knew mostly what to do. I'm confident that if her parents used the same methodology it would be easy for TM to clean her room.

Maybe if I had my own kids it would not be so easy I just think that if I had kids I would be a decent parent.
 
I don't know how anyone can stand kids. Now that I've reached a decent age I feel like strangling each one that comes within 20 feet of me.
 
I love kids :)
I also believe that violence is NEVER the answer (Includes spanking).
You can get allot further with a strong look, the right words and the correct punishment.
 
Parents, Talk to Your Kids More

Lambie said:
I think as overused as the idea seems, the root of most misbehavior is the need for attention, and focusing on giving attention for positive behavior rather than negative is the best way to encourage the good and decrease the bad.
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My father wasn't around to discipline me. My mother used whipping and intimidation to straighten me out. She was and this is the meanest person I know.

I don't have any children, but most of the kids I know including my neices and little cousins are starving for attention. I always imagine that as a parent, I would like to include my children in some of the activities that we would routinely do, such as grocery shopping, household chores; in other words, give them some sort of responsibility that they would keep them busy sometimes. Also, I find that most parents don't talk to their kids enough. Everytime I visit my seven-year old neice, I ask her how everything in school? She wants to cook, so I encourage her by telling her my favorite meal.
 
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