Are you a good listener?

Soulful said:
Yes, I think I generally am, and I definitely can be when the situation calls for it. I wouldn't, however, say I'm a great listener as I don't always know how to engage in commentary/feedback after the person has said their part. I am a safe person to turn to, though. I will hear someone out patiently, maintain their confidence, and offer compassion/understanding. I hope people know that I won't judge them when they turn to me, and can trust me to hold them in high esteem or value regardless of the context or circumstance.

Something interesting I've found is that some people have a presence that makes them more compelling speakers in a way that has nothing to do with the topic. I'm not sure what it is, but I've known people whom I've loved whose words, for reasons I've been unable to figure out, translate into "blah blah blah" in my mind. It's not as though they aren't interested in the topic, speak in a monotone voice, say things in confusing ways, etc. There's absolutely nothing problematic about how they express themselves, or about the discussion. Not sure. *shoulder shrug*.
Click to expand...
.
 
As a listener, I get frustrated. People tend to talk and talk, and I always seem to ask the right questions that really keep them going. I feel like I am overwhelmed with listening to other people talk, and it's gotten to the point now that when other people start yapping, I can't help it, I yawn. I yawn multiple times, I start tuning people out, but it's like I can't. I always listen. I hate listening sometimes now, and it's gotten to the point where I resent listening. But when asked if I am a good listener, I am. I am to a painful degree.

But I think the root of the problem, is that, throughout the day it's so rare for me to get a chance to express my own feelings, that when I do- it's almost as if it's too late.

I'm getting better at trying to figure out what they are saying, and cut them short. And I'm a master at avoiding emotional unloading sessions now- but I still get frustrated listening.
 
I am frequently told that I am a good listener by people that I meet, especially online where written communication is paramount.

People have told me that I make them want to talk to them, and tell them their secrets. I get a lot of "you are the first person I've ever told"s.

I'm not sure why this happens, but I think it might be because I am nonjudgmental and supportive, and try to take in and fully understand/immerse myself in the information that the other person is giving me, and I try my best to give relevant feedback.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top