Are you close with both of your parents?

Closer to my mom growing up. Now definitely closer to my dad, as we work together. I couldn't have done that until I matured both as a son and a parent. When I fled the nest at 19 I abandoned it. I wanted nothing to do with them, as I felt controlled. I still get that feeling sometimes but I know it's my own issue, and that they are just trying to do the best they can.

I made an effort to try and get closer to my mom this summer but her recent fears are all-encompassing. I think I'm better off keeping a little emotional distance so I can be available for the really troublesome times, as there are some inevitable ones coming. I wrote them a letter for their 40th wedding anniversary last year and my mother sent a generous letter back.

I know I am lucky to have them both in my life, and can rely on them for anything.

My in-laws are great too. We had a rocky start but we all got over the perceived issues when my wife moved out at 17. They are friends of her biological parents, which is an odd situation sometimes. Her "real" parents were heroin addicts and alcoholics. Her father hung himself when she was 9 and her mother died in the operating room due to liver complications when she was 14. Needless to say, my wife was on her own most of her life and not used to common parental guidelines. When my in-laws took her and her sister in there was a bit of a power struggle for a few years, until my wife just said "the hell with it" and found a co-worker that would rent an apartment with her. After a month or so everything smoothed over and has been great ever since, save the few debates on logistics and politics.
 
Mom is INFJ, Pops is ISTP. Close with mom but not with pops. I choose not to have him in my life.
 
My mother is long gone. I was always closer to my father. Now in his old age, I'm not so sure. It's been surreal being able to see him more often since we live closer, but it's almost like I have to get to know him all over again ... as a grouchy old man. All the things I thought about him are so different now. He is incredibly sensitive and insecure about himself, he grieves to be the man he once was. I told my husband that within a couple of years I think it would be a good idea to start looking into foreclosures in the area, and buy one close by to flip that he could rent from us. Just preparing us for what is to come, b/c I know caring for him in his elder years will fall into our lap.
 
My family was a broken home since I was about 6. Since then all I can recall is that no one wants to speak to each other but everyone wants to speak and get along with me. I guess it's a true testimony to an Fe person trying to hold everyone but himself together.

Honestly sometimes I feel like throwing the baby out with the whole bath water. I love them to death but I truly wonder sometimes if they are worth it. I have always felt that I give them more than they give me and that they always needed me more than I them.

In fact my mother and I are on the outs as of 3 years ago. Just to be fair, I'm not the only one not talking to her. In fact I was pretty much one of the last to keep speaking to her. But sometimes I wish I could just say screw it with everyone. Just never had seemed worn it.

It's why I'll probably never have kids. Based on my experience and pov I fail to see how it's worth it.

This is why I really hate Xmas. Lol. Thanks for letting me vent a little :)
 
I couldn't be further apart from my parents and family. I am the healthiest of the bunch, but my road to psychic health was born in a pool of sacrifice. I wielded a ritual knife that tore me from them and them from each other. Though I do not regret my actions, I have wondered occasionally whether that was an act of great kindness, that we could all be freed and reborn from the poison of sad circumstance, or great cruelty, tearing away security for personal freedom. It was, I now believe, a bit of both.

 
Am really close with my mom. I get along well with my Dad for the most part, but we butt heads every once in a while. I didn't always have a good relationship with my father but now it is probably the best it has ever been. I hope it continues to get better.
 
Radiant Shadow said:
I couldn't be further apart from my parents and family. I am the healthiest of the bunch, but my road to psychic health was born in a pool of sacrifice. I wielded a ritual knife that tore me from them and them from each other. Though I do not regret my actions, I have wondered occasionally whether that was an act of great kindness, that we could all be freed and reborn from the poison of sad circumstance, or great cruelty, tearing away security for personal freedom. It was, I now believe, a bit of both.

Click to expand...

Man that sounds like something I need to do. lol!
 
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