Are you easily charmed OR do you charm easily?

[Gaze]

Yeah if I can't get a woman to show just a bit of a smile over a little time I get the hint that she would rather I vanished into thin air. I rather dislike the idea of being a nuisance, so I move on rather quickly if that is ever perceived.

It's not that i don't want to appreciate a well intentioned innocent attempt to make someone feel good, but when most of the time you're in a situation where someone is using it to get their way or to manipulate you, it's gets old really quickly. It feels like you're being mocked or used and that's emotionally draining.

 

[sassafras]

most people are less obvious than that though, which means you're running the risk of disbelieving people who are telling the truth and vice versa when acting from a baseline of criticalness. i guess it would serve to protect you though... but i also sort of think people deserve the benefit of the doubt. i dunno. idealist in me can't seem to accept that people are inherently primarily motivated by personal gain.. even though it might be true

Well, sure, if you want to look at things in terms of black and white like that. Like I told Skathac on my visitor wall, it's more of a fine balancing of head and heart than loitering on either extreme as either the cynic or the idealist.

 

[dneecey]

Hmm. I would say no to the first question if someone is intentionally trying to charm me, I get extremely nervous and go even further into my shell. I feel suspicious of people giving me too much attention, and there must be a reason why. I do shutting down very well. I usually find people interesting in a round about way however, especially if they have no idea they are being sweet or cute, then that is charming to me and then I fall. Sweet, caring, and genuine, that is what I find charming.. If I encounter someone doing those things without the intention of swaying me, or even realizing that I'm paying attention, then I can be easily charmed that way perhaps. But not so much the coming on really strong and what not..

As for being charming. I don't really know. *shrug*

 

[Skathac]

It's not that i don't want to appreciate a well intentioned innocent attempt to make someone feel good, but when most of the time you're in a situation where someone is using it to get their way or to manipulate you, it's gets old really quickly. It feels like you're being mocked or used and that's emotionally draining.

*nods* I mentioned to TDHT that I can only imagine what it is like from a woman's perspective and that it must be hell having to distinguish the good from the bad. I think there was also a similar discussion with Dove in another thread although I don't recollect getting this in depth at that time.

I think the moral of the discussion is that those with bad intentions suck. Those with good intentions are difficult to discern from the bad because the line is so very fine, sometimes they are perceived in a bad light.

 

[Gaze]

Hmm. I would say no to the first question if someone is intentionally trying to charm me, I get extremely nervous and go even further into my shell. I feel suspicious of people giving me too much attention, and there must be a reason why. I do shutting down very well. I usually find people interesting in a round about way however, especially if they have no idea they are being sweet or cute, then that is charming to me and then I fall. Sweet, caring, and genuine, that is what I find charming.. not so much the coming on really strong and what not..

As for being charming. I don't really know. *shrug*

Agree.

 

[rawr]

neither of those.

 

[Gaze]

*nods* I mentioned to TDHT that I can only imagine what it is like from a woman's perspective and that it must be hell having to distinguish the good from the bad. I think there was also a similar discussion with Dove in another thread although I don't recollect getting this in depth at that time.

I think the moral of the discussion is that those with bad intentions suck. Those with good intentions are difficult to discern from the bad because the line is so very fine, sometimes they are perceived in a bad light.

Yeah. I think as a rule when someone seems very nice and giving, they're seen as a bit naive and an easy target so that's why it's so easy to become disillusioned.

It's a life lesson.

 

[Skathac]

That is all anyone can do Res, learning from past mistakes and try like hell not to let your life be ruled by them.

 

[Gaze]

That is all anyone can do Res, learning from past mistakes . . .

At the end of the day, whether or not anyone understands why someone doesn't like or respond positively to a personality trait such as charm, is less important than realizing that you shouldn't have to put up with it if you don't want to. It's annoying/tiring when everyone tries to justify why they do something without considering the effects or consequences on the person they are targeting.

But that's life i guess

 

[Shai Gar]

I am so easily charmed as to be a field of wheat who sways to the warm and comforting breeze of several of the ladies here.

Mays wit and easy affability.
Pipsqueakas tense but comfortable personality.
Bored Nows scandalous charm and creative mind.

Sigh, I am charmed so easily...

 

[analyst]

I'm easily charmed in that I generally see the good in most people, even if there isn't a heck of a lot of good, or it's a person who I should avoid all together. This is a downfall for me that I need to be aware of. Also, when somebody is "in" with me, they are super "in", and it sometimes takes quite a bit to be "out".

Do I charm? Depends upon my comfort level. I'm unlikely to charm someone who I just met, but if it's somebody who I've known for a while and I feel some mutual interest, then yes, I can turn on the creative juices. Depends on what the gut is telling me to do.