Are you single??? or not???

First of all, great thread.

I am single and consider it my default status. I've tried for relationships but have been unsuccesful in the past. Conversely, I have been really lucky and had a woman fall for me at three pivotal moments in my life: in college, after graduating, and right now. I have trouble deeply trusting, so eventually, I abandon the idea that I will ever be happy with a girlfriend. The older I get, however, the harder it is for me to callously walk away from them. It's kind of endearing, really. At this rate, I may find someone that will be impossible to leave. But for now, I believe I'll be alone forever (and I'm okay with that). There's only been one girl in my life where I had the same clarity of thought when speaking that I do when writing an e-mail. Plus there was electricity between me and her that I so desperately crave.

I don't date much because I'm not very good at it. I don't have much patience and typically want to immediately spend a lot of time with a new girl. With social norms, this doesn't leave me coming off as "cool" as I don't give the girl enough time alone to doubt whether I might like her.

Sometimes I get approached, but when it happens I feel blindsided and unprepared. I usually fuck up at that point. That's probably why I almost always approach. It's hard for me to not approach as I usually get drawn in by people who interest me. I can easily start a conversation based on esoteric things I intuitively pick up on. I have been told I come off as flirtatious and extraverted (as told to me by other introverts, especially).

A book store has historically been one of my proving grounds to get girls' numbers. When I don't second-guess myself, I can approach and get a number there and almost anywhere. I just have difficulty with the follow up.
 
i'm [MENTION=3361]Wren[/MENTION] 's lover
 
rachel said:
I don't have problems with small talk if the topic is interesting. My mind is impulsively random so I usually either will scare a person away or they will be so intrigued. But then I tend to push them away. I've only had two real boyfriends, one that lasted 7 years and one for 3. WHERE IS MY LOVER?! But then I realize, well, if I don't leave my house, how the hell am I going to find him.
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You, like, push them away if something ever feels tense in the relationship? That happens to me alot. You can work on it, I started being more honest about how I felt and was able to work through things more. But if you made relations last for 7 years, there's not really anything wrong with you. Like I keep saying, it's all about trusting The Antennae. She will guide you to the right one. Just trust your instincts. And leave the house sometimes, go to the library, go to a caf
 
Are you single or not???
Single for 3 years

Do you plan on dating soon??
Not until my daughter is a bit older. Atleast another 3 years. I dont want my attention to be diverted from her and I have no intention of living a Jerry Springer life. I'm looking foward to dating again, I love being in love, the companionship, understanding, support, cuddles and frequent sex.

Do any of you go through these issues with dating?
Ive been in three serious, intense, long term relationships with very little down time since I was 16. This is the longest Ive been single and it has been completely voluntary.
I approached the people that Ive been with. I liked them and I made a conscious effort to get to know them and have never regretted it. Small talk sucks, but its just the beginning. I say hello to most people I cross paths with during my day, unless Im in a crowd or lost in thought or something. Im also very approachable, I am very awkward, clumsy, unitimidating and smile a lot. I think I get approached because Im so non threatning.
I have ridiculously high standards though, I need someone thats more intelligent than me (so I can learn from them), very open minded, honourable, inspiring, funny, and has the same worldviews and motivations as me. I live in a way that is pretty unconventional so I would need them to understand and support that. I also require a lot of freedom, space and privacy in a relationship. Plus I have a daughter who is my no 1 priority so they would need to understand that. And Im not very attractive so they would need to love me for my personality. So it seems that Im demanding a lot lot but dont have much to offer. I would never settle though. Im waiting for a kindred spirit and have no doubt I will find them when the time is right. Ive met so many amazing people in my life and I know there are many awesome people out there.

Is it hard for you to approach someone other than in a book store?(Lolz)
If find someone intriguing I will approach then no matter where I am. You never know, your new best friend could be just around the corner. Everyone is fascinating and everyone has a story. I met my ex boyfriend at a bar of all places. I only went grudgingly as a favour to my best friend and ended up talking politics for 3 hours with a stranger that is now a great friend that I have a child with.
 
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Feelings said:
Half of INFJ females are vegans these days. I'm surprised vegans don't spontaneously keel over and die from lack of meat.
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In fact, being vegan has made me super strong, I can even move objects with my mind, not having 90% being clogged up with animal fats anymore. ;)
 
anarkandi said:
In fact, being vegan has made me super strong, I can even move objects with my mind, not having 90% being clogged up with animal fats anymore. ;)
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It is not the objects that move, it is your mind that moves. Do not try to bend the spoon.
 
Feelings said:
Half of INFJ females are vegans these days. I'm surprised vegans don't spontaneously keel over and die from lack of meat.
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Lack of meat? Hmmm, so you wanted to talk on the phone eh? I've got many things to say to you. But protein is found in many other places, how the hell does the cow get protein? Vegetables, beans, nuts, soy, tvp. I have something in my eye right now and it is bugging me so I am really annoyed at you.
 
AND I AM GOING TO HURT YOUR "FEELINGS" ... but I kinda doubt you have any.
 
Asarya said:
I say hello to most people I cross paths with during my day,
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This INFJ is a fake.
And Im not very attractive so they would need to love me for my personality. So it seems that Im demanding a lot lot but dont have much to offer. I would never settle though.
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Me toooooo! :m204:I'm a fat socially awkward fuck with no job. A MAN with no job. That's super bad for male attractiveness. And I am not easygoing. And I don't get along well. Half the forum thinks I'm a shitface, and the other half doesn't know me.

If find someone intriguing I will approach then no matter where I am.
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This one's an ENFP.
 
Snjthut up it is so early, elave me laone, youre hrtug my feeelzerz
 
vegan-pyramid-1024x768.webp

You might find this interesting. ^^ Basically, and removing the meat and replacing it with beans and sprouts, replacing the milk with enriched soy milk, you're waaaaay more healthy than any meat eater out there. If you start trying raw, you'll basically live forever.
 
Feelings said:
This INFJ is a fake.
Me toooooo! :m204:I'm a fat socially awkward fuck with no job. A MAN with no job. That's super bad for male attractiveness. And I am not easygoing. And I don't get along well. Half the forum thinks I'm a shitface, and the other half doesn't know me.

This one's an ENFP.
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I love ENFPs. I think I would have much more fun as an ENFP.

Not having a job is temporary thing that will change in time. Being socially awkward doesn't have to be permanent or a negative thing either.

I used to be more socially awkward but now my curiosity often gets the better of me. I used to be really embarassed by how clumsy and unco I was untill I realised that it didnt matter and no one cares. Except many years ago when I did a day of waitressing and dropped hot chips all over some guys lap. Worst job ever.
 
The former, still.

My niche has become commitmentphobic women. "We're single together" is what I said recently. It's fine for the short term, but I predict my 30s will see a focus on refining my long term prowess.
 
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I'm pretty sure there's only one of me, but I could be wrong.

If I ever find I am double, or perhaps triple, I will get right back to you.


Hope that satisfies all your question marks.
 
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