Arguing Style Test

[acd]

Snapshot Report

Positive fighting tactics

99

You tend to engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This probably keeps fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you’re working together towards a common goal. Couples who rely on positive tactics when fighting improve their overall satisfaction with their relationship and are more likely to stay together. Way to go!

 

[Julia]

I tried to answer as much in the context of an argument as possible. I'm not sure what I do with my partner would be called an argument. We discuss, analyze, and resolved issues. There are sometimes feelings present, but we meet on a more cerebral level. It's more like I might feel sad about something, describe it but say I'm not defending my perspective because I can sense that it is a little distorted, then he helps me or I help him. ) yay!

Positive fighting tactics

86

You tend to engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This probably keeps fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you’re working together towards a common goal. Couples who rely on positive tactics when fighting improve their overall satisfaction with their relationship and are more likely to stay together. Way to go!

 

[Dutch Cake]

I got an 80. I can be ugly if I feel attacked. If everyone can be reasonable then I am fine. I don't think I have yelled at anyone for over a year so I blame it all on my ex husband.

 

[waterbaby]

Snapshot Report

Positive fighting tactics

92

You tend to engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This probably keeps fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you

 

[acd]

I usually stay pretty calm (or at least benevolent) unless the other person gets violent or otherwise completely insane. I have met a few people, though, who I could not maintain such self-control with, but I don't come across that very often. Those few, I turned pretty ugly on. I generally don't hurt anyone intentionally, though. I seriously need to work on picking people with better motives, though, which is why I'm currently refusing to date anyone. Maybe ever.

Being picky in dating is a good thing.
I hope you will run into someone with genuinely kind motives someday.

 

[Puck]

Positive fighting tactics

64

You often engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This might keep fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can generally avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you’re working together towards a common goal. Couples who rely on positive tactics when fighting improve their overall satisfaction with their relationship and are more likely to stay together.

 

[Julia]

69 but I found taking the test from my experience didn't account for a partner that has mental health issues. We couldn't have a fair fight as much as I wanted to discuss difference calmly. I'd call for time out but wasn't given space until she was satisfied her point was heard and conversely if I wanted to talk and she didn't she would just shut down all communication. Another words it takes two to have a good arguing style within a relationship.

That is very true for a day to day relationship. One person cannot always compensate for the other.

For conflicts that occur in more isolation (not day-to-day) there are sometimes ways of diffusing the antagonism by listening to what the person is actually saying. In a few instances in my life someone close to me was intensely upset and accusing me of being all kinds of things I'd rather die than be. It cut me deeply, but at the same time I could hear in the person's voice and between their words a tremendous need to be validated. I apologized for what I was accused of not because the accusations were realistic, but because I could tell this person needed to hear an apology from someone, and in a funny way I think I was trusted enough for it to be me. Also, if a person perceives you in a wrong light, they can be badly hurt by that mental image and the best way to deconstruct it is to contradict it. Showing I cared more about the friendship than my identity as a "good person" took the wind out of the antagonism and went far to mend whatever went wrong in the relationship. Each situation is different and I don't think an unwarranted apology is always the best course, but viewing the conflict through the eyes of the other person can sometimes enlighten as to a method to deflate the conflict. It sometimes seems like everyone is so emotionally beat up and scarred. The older I get the more i see wisdom in cutting people slack.

 

[Ingrid]

96 - Positive fighting tactics

 

[RetardedMonkey]

Snapshot Report

Positive fighting tactics

94

You tend to engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This probably keeps fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you

 

[Zero Angel]

69

You often engage in arguing behaviors that can help end a fight quickly and satisfactorily for both parties. This might keep fights from being drawn out longer than necessary because you can generally avoid misunderstandings. By listening carefully, looking for solutions and apologizing, you are able to communicate effectively with your partner. These tactics serve to reassure your partner that you

 

[WickedPod]

74 - I definitely agree it takes two to have a positive arguing style. My late boyfriend would never, ever argue. He felt that disagreeing was not necessary. I always would tell him that he needs to stand up for himself and his POV adn he never would. It drove me nuts! My ex-fiance always blamed every problem on me and my depression or PMS or whatever was convenient at the time. He could never admit fault, eventhough he was abusive. My husband and I can usually argue in a healthy way, unless it involves WoW or him having a new car - neither of which we can afford.