Asking for advice: comes across as flattering or needy?

INFJ16 said:
It's often seen as flattering when someone comes to you for advice, but there are also times when a person can come across as needy/helpless (and bothersome) in doing so. What circumstances cause you to perceive differently: what circumstances cause you to feel flattered vs. what circumstances cause you to view someone as needy and bothersome.

Is there some overlap? Or do you have a completely different reaction to people requesting your advice? How do you feel about asking people for advice?
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Hmmm...these are difficult questions for me. I don't think I feel flattered when someone asks me for advice...as a general rule, I start asking questions and I go in some sort of analyzer mode and then give them sort of a long check with all the possible interactions and outcomes that I can think of plus all the information I can think of that can be useful for their situation. And a handful of personal experiences as examples, if I have them. And I might get excited in the process because it's one thing that my mind enjoys doing. This happens if I deem the advise request as worthy. Which means not something like "should I buy the green or the yellow curtains?". In that case I would just stare silently or push myself a little bit more and say "I have no idea". On a good day I could try giving my "personal opinion" if I have one. But it's difficult for me to care that much about other people's curtains, and I trust people enough to let them decide alone on their home decor.
I would view someone as needy not much based on what they ask me, but more on how much time they ask of me with respect to the issue they have. It goes something like this:
Small issue, just a few seconds/minutes=ok.
Big issue, just a few seconds/minutes= you pressed on and now you'll stay here until I finish my analysis and give you my feedback or I'll scream.
Small issue, many minutes/hours/days=why are you doing this to me?Have a nice day, goodbye.
Big issue, many minutes/hours/days=ok
 
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