Assumptions based on physical appearances

Somehow I feel a bit at a loss of how others percieve me.

It could be many ways, and I can't generalize because I believe everyone is unique in their thinking. One person might notice one thing about me that stands out to them in general, while others may see differently.

I do feel though, that most people find me polite and private irl. (here on the forum, I am a lot more open).

I also think it has to do with what is going on in my life; I recall a time where I presented in my shadow type. Life was pretty unbareable. Those who knew me then, might find me much calmer and gentler now, and it kind of makes me feel I want to isolate from them when I see them around, because I feel uncomfortable with being possibly scrutinized. I guess it goes along with the private element, and it demonstrates in a way, my vulnerabilities either then or now, depending on the person who is viewing me based on how well they knew me then.

I hope this doesn't sound too confusing!
 
wow res....i totally could have written that...it goes as far to me not recognizing my physical appearance in the mirror...What I see as myself inside is so far away from who I am on the outside. Sometimes I am taken aback when i look in the mirror..."can that really be me?" Then I start to recognize things, the little crooked smile, the scar on my eye brow, all things that make me me...

I know I am judged solely on my outward appearance, and it makes me sad.
 
TheDaringHatTrick said:
I think its difficult to isolate impressions based solely on physical appearance from body language and other, subconscious cues in behaviour. That being said, I suppose the most common assumption I get is that I'm a snob or a bitch or some variation thereof whenever I put some sort of special effort into my appearance. If I'm wearing jeans or track pants, and my hair is up in a pony tail, I noticed I'm perceived as friendly. "You seem nice," seems to be the common adage. It's like the Betty-Veronica sort of phenomenon.

Mind, that's just based on variables of appearance that can be easily modified. When I was overweight, I was largely ignored. Having slimmed down, people seem to pay more attention to what I say; I don't dare think about what the assumptions behind that one are.
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The assumption is generally that some one with a thin, tight, healthy image is someone who has their life under control and thus you ought to listen to them. It's mostly because the generally shared value in current culture is that of health and the illusion of self-control (as in being able to appear as though you have it). As such, people tend to listen to those who they think best exemplify thoe values. At least, that's what I read in a sociological journal a couple years ago. This isn't a defense of it, though, just stating the info I have available.
 
Afrelen said:
The assumption is generally that some one with a thin, tight, healthy image is someone who has their life under control and thus you ought to listen to them. It's mostly because the generally shared value in current culture is that of health and the illusion of self-control (as in being able to appear as though you have it). As such, people tend to listen to those who they think best exemplify thoe values. At least, that's what I read in a sociological journal a couple years ago. This isn't a defense of it, though, just stating the info I have available.
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Unfortunate, but a likely assumption.
 
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I get told that I look like a confident, outgoing, med-student, with an address/phone book filled with contacts and connections, who plays in a punk band on the side (only the punk band part is right).

People generally assume I know more than I do about different subjects, especially music, and will talk with me about things I don't have the slightest clue about. Then they get pissed that I'm bad at talking and assume I'm arrogant or stuck-up.

I also guess I act/appear older than I actually am. Kinda sucks when I meet new people who take an interest in me, and then they turn around and say "Oh...I could have pegged you for at least (fill in the blank) years older than you actually are. It's been nice talking with you".

In all honesty though, I pay very little attention to my actual appearance. I always try to be presentable...but my reflection always seems to startle me somewhat.
 
Entyqua said:
wow res....i totally could have written that...it goes as far to me not recognizing my physical appearance in the mirror...What I see as myself inside is so far away from who I am on the outside. Sometimes I am taken aback when i look in the mirror..."can that really be me?" Then I start to recognize things, the little crooked smile, the scar on my eye brow, all things that make me me...

I know I am judged solely on my outward appearance, and it makes me sad.
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Walk proud woman! You are a goddess of light, beauty, and mirth. Bask in your gorgeous personage.
 
Restraint said:
Walk proud woman! You are a goddess of light, beauty, and mirth. Bask in your gorgeous personage.
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+1 X1000000. Enty, you're awesome!
 
See, i don't know what others are thinking about my body, whatever, i will never look at it.

I believe, 95% people makes negative points on body. They are so because they are worried about their body and can't look at it with positive point of views. I have seen, if body is little fat, they will say, look at it, he/she is not perfect. People are going for perfection, but they don't see it. Major people wants physical attraction and when they are not attracted enough, i bet they will make comment about your body.

For relations:
This is 100% nonsense. What is the connection between body and relations. Relations are made from heart, nurtured by heart. Then how come body? It is just your vehicle of life, vehicle of soul. A lot people make negative conclusion in this way, if you are not sure, just look around yourself.
 
The way I see someone's respect for their body, and the way they care for themselves, is a big clue to me about the further potential for a romantic relationship. Now, I'm not saying I only am interested in super-fit, always well-dressed women. That'd be completely hypocritical of me. However, if I meet someone who is obviously a slob, cares nothing for their appearance, and doesn't even attempt to look presentable (and I mean over the course of several meetings/interactions. Everyone has off-days) I can't help but assume that a relationship with them would be just as messy. If they can't respect themselves, how do they expect me to respect them in such a way, and how can I expect them to respect the relationship between us (or at least that's what's running through my head)
 
I am often told by people that they were very intimidated by me when they first met me, but after they got to know me, they didn't feel that way anymore.
Actually, the people that have told me this are individuals who have gained my respect, and in addition, were people with whom I had profound conversations, so who knows. Maybe it's the fact that my attention is usually drawn to my own thoughts that makes me seem "intimidating."
 
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