Attention INFJ Females:

haha what grace, verry affectionatly put.
personaly i don't think any INFJ female will be attracked to any man who shouts ATTENTION at them. haha
and please don't use the words 'mate or mating' because we want lasting meaning ful reationships. be more affectionate.
anyway
1) cinima, shopping, libary, home or familys houses(sorry)
2) they don't, look for the wide eyed gentle people in the corner, our body language will give us away and we'll probably trip over- for good measure
3) stare at me

that is all!
 
I may be too serious or something but anyway, if you know us so well or are truly interested in us then you shouldn't be asking those questions (unless it's for stand out purposes, wich is respectable)

I like you avatar though
 
Hmmmm....

There have been lots of people chiding poor Fantasy for being so direct and forthrite in what he wants.

While the terms 'Attention' and 'mating' and referring to our type as being suitable are somewhat off putting for the romantically inclined INFJ's....

In reality I'd rather have the guy who is being blunt and straight forward instead of the one building an elaborate illusion of being the perfect mate while double dealing on the side, or luring me in only to become Dr. Jekyll as soon as they have me on the line.

As has been demonstrated here time and again, we are suckers for lost causes. Especially in our relationships. The 'Never say die and keep performing CPR for a SO who definately needs to be shown the flat end of a shovel on the head' attitude keeps (and has kept) more than one INFJ in a situation that is not healthy for their well-being.

Something for all of you to mull over.

As for Fantasy, ladies, he has most empathically signalled his willingness to tolerate your moodiness, need of solitude and personal space. He may indeed be willing to work to meet your emotional needs (even if he never understands them, no matter how he tries...Emotions don't always = Logical). If he's lurked here long enough he's probably come to understand that there is a lot more underneath the surface than he'd ever guessed and is willing to be surprised. I say someone should give him a shot. Lets see is he can walk the walk.

And he can quite likely can be trained to any and every dirty little cho Arhhhh um....
Trained to do all those little Man-Jobs...Yeah Man jobs! Thats what I was referring to ;)
 
Okaaay alcyone...*whining like a little kid* :D

Yeah, we are really a bit too picky, I'll agree with that. :B
 
This thread is full of win. I could have made a more personable request, but look at all that I would have missed. I'm enjoying, and learning from, the negative advice in this thread every bit as much as the positive. I hope it all keeps coming. I like the attention.

@alcyone: Marry me. (J/k)
 
I love it when guys do "Man Jobs". I love it when they have completed man job and kiss me before showers. I will be inside making food for man while he is doing man job only if he doesn't expect me to.

Fantasy, I must say "gushing" creeps me out. I don't want someone who dotes on me. I want a more equal relationship. I think it works better and saves hurt feelings later on. I won't say I don't enjoy being coddled, but I want some breathing room so I don't feel like a prize or a pet. Nothing would scare me away faster then a guy who is telling me how great I am all the time and buying/making me things.

I might be willing to help, but there has to be something in it for me. I have learned how to say no. And yes if you drive that would be good because apparently hardly any of us do.
 
Everyone on this forum is in luck. I drive. I'll drive any of you anywhere, so long as I get a chauffeur's cap. Though, I kind of drive fast and I brake hard and I zone out to where I wonder if I have accidentally run any red lights along the way, but I most likely haven't.

Nothing would scare me away faster then a guy who is telling me how great I am all the time and buying/making me things.

I have a couple questions pertaining to that. 1) Are you a woman? 2) Are you human?
 
Your INTP Fantasy* said:
Everyone on this forum is in luck. I drive. I'll drive any of you anywhere, so long as I get a chauffeur's cap. Though, I kind of drive fast and I brake hard and I zone out to where I wonder if I have accidentally run any red lights along the way, but I most likely haven't.

Nothing would scare me away faster then a guy who is telling me how great I am all the time and buying/making me things.

I have a couple questions pertaining to that. 1) Are you a woman? 2) Are you human?
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Lol, I feel the exact same way as Dutch Cake. I like attention, I just don't like to be the center of attention. And yes, I'm a woman, and I'm most certainly human. Pay attention to me, just dont suffocate me. I need down time, that's okay right?
 
I am very much female. I am quite sure I am also a homosapien.

I am expressing my feelings. I have been in two relationships where I was really uncomfortable with the amount of dotage that was put upon me. Even after I brought it to attention it was still too much.

I like to be surprised, I like to be snuggled, but if someone buys me something I can't help but think how much it cost and how they could have shown me they love me with out trinkets. I also don't like clutter so stuffed toys and things I will probably throw out. Now buy me a book that is cool and useful or by Terry Prattchet that I don't own, score. But as I said not all the time. And unless it's my birthday, used books and not signed antique copies unless it's Christmas.
 
Oh, if you can cook well, I will eat at your place if it's clean. And if you make beer and it's decent, you can bring me some almost any time. I will return the bottles. I think those are the only exceptions I have. Beer and food.
 
Dutch Cake said:
Oh, if you can cook well, I will eat at your place if it's clean. And if you make beer and it's decent, you can bring me some almost any time. I will return the bottles. I think those are the only exceptions I have. Beer and food.
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I can't believe how weird it is that I feel like I could have written everything you've written... Are you a spy? Have you been spying on me? Is this a spy site? *goes to check windows*
 
i also agree with dutch cake....maybe its down to the embarrassment thing,or the need for independence,or the guilt factor or a combination of all.also a man should never try to by my affection,it would make me wary and upset....
 
Dutch Cake said:
Fantasy, I must say "gushing" creeps me out. I don't want someone who dotes on me. I want a more equal relationship. I think it works better and saves hurt feelings later on. I won't say I don't enjoy being coddled, but I want some breathing room so I don't feel like a prize or a pet. Nothing would scare me away faster then a guy who is telling me how great I am all the time and buying/making me things.
Click to expand...

Boy do I agree with you on that! I dated a dude that bought me things and paid all the damn time, which would really piss me off. And all he did was talk about how great, beautiful, smart, fantastic I was and how we were meant to be and should get married. I wanted to barf. The relationship didn't last long. When I broke it off with him, all that $$ spending he forced on me was thrown back at me as "golddigging" and he married some girl he'd just met 2 months later. Creepy?
 
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This is all very fascinating. So then how do you four want your man to show affection?

Edit: I mean besides cooking, beer-giving, and driving.
 
privately and by doing cute little quirky things that take thought about and appreciation of you,not big financial gestures...
 
You hang out and read books. You snuggle when it's time, like movie time or bed time. If you go on a trip and we don't go you text something you wanted to share with us. Share jokes. If we get sarcastic then do so back, but make sure we understand it's a joke. Picnic in the park, camping hiking, kayaking, word games, puzzles, writing a story together, Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble. Talk about philosophy, religion, politics, music, art, something that makes you or us think.

Engage our intellectual side, our desire to find beauty, our need not to have noise 24/7, the need to be alone, our sense of humor, our need to be close. Humor our sentimental aspects. Teach us something, let us teach you, listen because we listen to everyone else and sometimes we don't get a chance to be heard.

Never act like we are less because we are female. Being called cute is not always a compliment. Sometimes we can turn things around and view them as insulting. We are quite capable of being alone and content.
 
Hold me from behind and kiss me on the neck. Talk to me personally, about you and listen to me. Hold me. Remember things I've told you, especially when you're certain I think you're not listening. The cooking and beer is nice. The driving is excellent. If you want to give me something, pay attention to what I like, I'm thrifty... go with that. Hold me. Kiss me, touch me. Make me laugh. Make me laugh. Let me be. Sit with me quietly sometimes. Introduce me to a new song. .... I could go on, but I think I'll stop for a second... Did I mention hold me and make me laugh?

Oh and that beer is nice?
 
Dutch Cake said:
You hang out and read books. You snuggle when it's time, like movie time or bed time. If you go on a trip and we don't go you text something you wanted to share with us. Share jokes. If we get sarcastic then do so back, but make sure we understand it's a joke. Picnic in the park, camping hiking, kayaking, word games, puzzles, writing a story together, Trivial Pursuit and Scrabble. Talk about philosophy, religion, politics, music, art, something that makes you or us think.

Engage our intellectual side, our desire to find beauty, our need not to have noise 24/7, the need to be alone, our sense of humor, our need to be close. Humor our sentimental aspects. Teach us something, let us teach you, listen because we listen to everyone else and sometimes we don't get a chance to be heard.

Never act like we are less because we are female. Being called cute is not always a compliment. Sometimes we can turn things around and view them as insulting. We are quite capable of being alone and content.
Click to expand...

Is every INFJ sixty years old?

dneecey said:
Hold me from behind and kiss me on the neck. Talk to me personally, about you and listen to me. Hold me. Remember things I've told you, especially when you're certain I think you're not listening. The cooking and beer is nice. The driving is excellent. If you want to give me something, pay attention to what I like, I'm thrifty... go with that. Hold me. Kiss me, touch me. Make me laugh. Make me laugh. Let me be. Sit with me quietly sometimes. Introduce me to a new song. .... I could go on, but I think I'll stop for a second... Did I mention hold me and make me laugh?

Oh and that beer is nice?
Click to expand...

Yes, yes and more yes. Oh, not you personally. Right. *blushes*
 
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