I think as a whole in my own life this is how I am (including [MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION]). I enjoy cheering people on and giving them a ^5 while they are momentarily basking in their own glory. Why not? They absolutely deserve it. People need encouragement, not someone to rain on their parade. Great accomplishments under weigh failures and it seems the only time we are encouraging or positive is when someone loses.
Being proud vs. Boasting.
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I think as a whole in my own life this is how I am (including [MENTION=5375]chulo[/MENTION]). I enjoy cheering people on and giving them a ^5 while they are momentarily basking in their own glory. Why not? They absolutely deserve it. People need encouragement, not someone to rain on their parade. Great accomplishments under weigh failures and it seems the only time we are encouraging or positive is when someone loses.
Trifoilum
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And that's for the better, seriously.
This is part of group politics; some people like to put sexist remarks and call it 'girl games', I noticed boys did it as well, only covered under certain machismo.
(I am reminded of what my sister used to say, "You know, there are certain types of people who had a bad opinion of someone else, and the best way to know it is just by praising that someone else in front of them. They will follow every 'they're good, aren't they?' with 'yes, but...'.")
It also depends on each person's situation. Perhaps in our peak experiences, we can be happy with other's successes. But not everyone has the best mood all the day... If someone's life has been particularly sucks these days, it's not hard to offended by little things. It's very easy to misread.
In reading your post, I realized that this might be part of the reason why Facebook are inherently annoying.
Lack of self confidence hurts. That is all I can say.
Most people do both, at different times, in different aspects of one's lives. I know I'd done it. I hope you've never done it. It's not good and it's not healthy. This is very different than your standard competition, yes....
But it exists, and we are not talking about validation; at least I am not talking about whether this is good or bad, right or wrong. OP wants information, I gave it.
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What a bizarre situation. I don't know the rules of scouts at the parent level, but It seems very weird that the parents would make such a big deal about things in this way. Isn't there some kind of scout masters above these people who can oust them from den leadership? Your stor so far has led me to suspect that they are trying to establish their own lame version of scouts that they can be in charge of.
this is only temporary
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Oh my gosh! That's awful! So... your're going to a new group, right? If I understand correctly? And you will soon not have to deal with this old group anymore at all, or will you? I know the various troops can be vastly different depending on who's running them.
At this point, if it were me, I'd consider the old group a complete wash, hope for the best with the new one, and if that didn't work out either, switch to a different extracurricular activity, such as drumming or baseball, or just go camping only with people you like. The leaders should know better than that, that's all. :/ sorry you are going through this.
At this point, if it were me, I'd consider the old group a complete wash, hope for the best with the new one, and if that didn't work out either, switch to a different extracurricular activity, such as drumming or baseball, or just go camping only with people you like. The leaders should know better than that, that's all. :/ sorry you are going through this.
Waaaaay too personal in detail.
But if you would like to know what I said ... just PM me.
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Waaaaay too personal in detail.
Why are you posting just to delete it later?
LucyJr
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Boasting is pride wthout reason, when a person is proud of things that have no basis in reality, and are mostly a illusion. Its also called bragging, or vanity, in more classic terms. Or to explain it more clear, when a person trie to follow a certain illusion of pride, of superiority.
Pride is simply, the mother of all sins. Its the real thing, being stupid enought to believe that you really have something, or you are something, by the virtue of yourself.
Aristotle argued for pride as being the crown of all virtues, as being something good. I think he was wrong, because virtues don't need a reward, something that "crowns' them, because virtues are good in themselfs. For what you need something as pride?
Unless you are not thankful with simply being good.
Solongo
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My motto has always been that if you are good at something; people will tell you how good you are. You don't need to tell or boast. That is just a scheme to gain validation. Being proud on your own is a sign of quiet self confidence and do not need outside validation. But if you are seeking validation than you are not truly proud but rather there is a desire to be validated more than being proud.
LucyJr
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The pride theme is specific to ESFJs and ISFJs...I'm not surprised at all that this topic was opened by a ISFJ.
ESFJs are people of glory and power (at least in their perception), and their introverted fellows are kind of the same...its just that they don't have the determination and willpower ESFJs have.
I remember a pretty popular pam reading master from Australia, I don't remember his name, but I was reading one of his book out of curiosity. He was a ISFJ.
In his book, there were certain analyses of famous people's palms...and the main philosophy that was over and over again all trought his book, was if the person who is analysed has "pride" or he hasn't (and as you could guess, this reading wasn't based on palm of actors, but on the author sense of recognising pride, and a sense of self esteem). For example, on Leonardo DiCaprio, he criticised the actor for having no sense of pride in himself, despite sleeping with tons of beautiful women.
And then of course, his favorite quoted psychologist was Adler.
ESFJs are people of glory and power (at least in their perception), and their introverted fellows are kind of the same...its just that they don't have the determination and willpower ESFJs have.
I remember a pretty popular pam reading master from Australia, I don't remember his name, but I was reading one of his book out of curiosity. He was a ISFJ.
In his book, there were certain analyses of famous people's palms...and the main philosophy that was over and over again all trought his book, was if the person who is analysed has "pride" or he hasn't (and as you could guess, this reading wasn't based on palm of actors, but on the author sense of recognising pride, and a sense of self esteem). For example, on Leonardo DiCaprio, he criticised the actor for having no sense of pride in himself, despite sleeping with tons of beautiful women.
And then of course, his favorite quoted psychologist was Adler.
rawr
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no, it's not. It's not a type thing. Any individuals can have pride or hubris. Your narrowing things down to type constantly is pigeon-holing and limiting the subject.
LucyJr
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There is something weird and demonic in human nature, to feel superior, to feel that one has outlasted others, that one is better then others. If that's happening, the person falls in tranquill, in a relaxed state. This very tranquility is their mean.
In one sense, it is very true that people can not be considered equal in value. You can't put Hitler and mother Teresa in the same boat and consider them to be of equal value, unless you are a stupid idealistic idiot, who does not know what he is talking about.
But in the other sense, each person has fundamental human value, a intrinsic value, a basic human dignity. And even if you are the best of the bests, and you work harder then anyone, you can not and will not attend to destroy a person's basic human dignity.
Its interesting that pride is wanted for having some supposed value in it, whereby you feel superior to other people.
But when it comes to superiority, there lies the problem: some people understand superiority wrong...they change it in entitlement.
One can only be superior according to justice and equity: if one does better decisions then other people, if he works better, if he loves better, if he is a person more worthy of respect and trust, then yes, there you go, that person is superior and is worthy of considered to be superior in that sense against the other people.
but if that superiority (or pride) is taken to a false delusion, it can create some really nasty things. And this in itself, because it happens and is real, and not even strong people are resistant to it, its a proof that people can not be just alone, can not love alone, can not be worthy of respect alone...all moral efforts must have a signature, must give their efforts to the cause of something higher then man, and be thankful to it, that which is the Law Giver, the "river of Justice", and that alone is God.
In one sense, it is very true that people can not be considered equal in value. You can't put Hitler and mother Teresa in the same boat and consider them to be of equal value, unless you are a stupid idealistic idiot, who does not know what he is talking about.
But in the other sense, each person has fundamental human value, a intrinsic value, a basic human dignity. And even if you are the best of the bests, and you work harder then anyone, you can not and will not attend to destroy a person's basic human dignity.
Its interesting that pride is wanted for having some supposed value in it, whereby you feel superior to other people.
But when it comes to superiority, there lies the problem: some people understand superiority wrong...they change it in entitlement.
One can only be superior according to justice and equity: if one does better decisions then other people, if he works better, if he loves better, if he is a person more worthy of respect and trust, then yes, there you go, that person is superior and is worthy of considered to be superior in that sense against the other people.
but if that superiority (or pride) is taken to a false delusion, it can create some really nasty things. And this in itself, because it happens and is real, and not even strong people are resistant to it, its a proof that people can not be just alone, can not love alone, can not be worthy of respect alone...all moral efforts must have a signature, must give their efforts to the cause of something higher then man, and be thankful to it, that which is the Law Giver, the "river of Justice", and that alone is God.
LucyJr
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What are some reasons for being proud of oneself? Can you name a few, not necessarely things that apply to you?
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You have deleted some posts so I can't really comment on your specific situation.
I think being proud of your accomplishments and sharing with people is different than boasting about things to try to cast others down.
When one shares their success or something they are proud of, they invite people into the story and the experience. It's a means to share part of who you are and what you have done. It's not meant to make others feel bad, nor is it to raise yourself above others. Expressing your accomplishments doesn't often come across as arrogant until you get into boasting territory.
Boasting is not as much about a personal accomplishment but rather it's used to create a rift between the boaster and other people. It's a means to raise themselves above others and try to twist the scenario into a "I am king/queen due to X, Y and Z, you are my minions and you should be in awe of what I have done."
Example of being proud and sharing success: I just found out that I won a contest for an art piece! I was so excited, I worked so hard and I am glad it's being recognized. People around you should be happy for you also because you worked hard at something and are being rewarded for that hard work.
Example of boasting: I make so much money, I have X, Y and Z, I slept with this person and they did/said this, I have this talent, I did this thing, I am King/Queen of the world.
It's making statements about a scenario that are black and white and erase the ability to connect. Most of these things are superficial. There is no talk about the struggle to achieve, there is no talk about the hard work put in, there is nothing that people hearing the story can connect to. It's just bragging about something for the sake of bragging and showing off what you have to people who do not have it. It's a POWER play.
I think being proud of your accomplishments and sharing with people is different than boasting about things to try to cast others down.
When one shares their success or something they are proud of, they invite people into the story and the experience. It's a means to share part of who you are and what you have done. It's not meant to make others feel bad, nor is it to raise yourself above others. Expressing your accomplishments doesn't often come across as arrogant until you get into boasting territory.
Boasting is not as much about a personal accomplishment but rather it's used to create a rift between the boaster and other people. It's a means to raise themselves above others and try to twist the scenario into a "I am king/queen due to X, Y and Z, you are my minions and you should be in awe of what I have done."
Example of being proud and sharing success: I just found out that I won a contest for an art piece! I was so excited, I worked so hard and I am glad it's being recognized. People around you should be happy for you also because you worked hard at something and are being rewarded for that hard work.
Example of boasting: I make so much money, I have X, Y and Z, I slept with this person and they did/said this, I have this talent, I did this thing, I am King/Queen of the world.
It's making statements about a scenario that are black and white and erase the ability to connect. Most of these things are superficial. There is no talk about the struggle to achieve, there is no talk about the hard work put in, there is nothing that people hearing the story can connect to. It's just bragging about something for the sake of bragging and showing off what you have to people who do not have it. It's a POWER play.
Well this post was over a year ago, and my guess is that it had to do with one of my CASA cases ... hence why I deleted it (even though I'm quite vague about the circumstances, can't shake that I'm not allow to really share anything about it.) Mainly ... it was a job well done on my part. I'm merely a volunteer who was more prepared than the attorneys or DFCS walking into court. That case was a mess, and the only individuals who were consistently in the case was myself and the judge (since attorneys changed, DFCS case worker changed, GAL changed etc.) It was really quite the awakening as to why Lay Guardian Ad Litems are desperately needed in the system.
finifugal
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I applied to be a CASA but one of my referrels never made it to the mailbox. A month later said person told me "Oh, I'll get that off this Monday" Umm.. it's too late. So I am not a CASA. Kudos to you though. It is a worth while volunteer job. 5 hrs a wk to save a family. More should apply.
Oh I'm very sorry to hear this!! It is a very rewarding experience.