Being Rejected and How to Handle It

[jimtaylor]

In my profession, I get rejected and told no multiple times on a daily basis. At first it was always demoralizing because honestly we want every call to go great and get the sale. In my development as a sales person I had start treating sales like dating in a lot of ways. It is a numbers game but that does not mean you just simply dial and give a halfhearted effort.

You do research before you call, you practice, you write a script that you practice so it doesn’t sound like a script because you can adapt without being thrown off. It is about preparation to put your best foot forward and you don’t want to come off too strong or unconfident. It is the perfect balance, just like dating. No matter what, at one point or another, you will be rejected. My question is in-regards to dating and things like that, how do you handle it? How do you not beat yourself up about it?

I have my own process that keeps me smiling no matter what but I would like to hear others first.

 

[Soulful]

You know how you meet some people, and they may be fantastic people, but you just don't feel particularly drawn to them or like you're meant to share a bond at this point and time either as friends, colleagues, etc.? People feel that way about us, too. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with us; it's just a part of life that not everyone will like everyone else.

You don't have to be perfect. You can be flawed and be loved. There's no shortage of love on this planet. 7 billion people to choose from to find someone who loves you. The possibilities are endless. I believe it is far more difficult to fill our own selves with love and project love outwards. Because once that's accomplished, chances are we won't have to want for love from others.

Anyhow, maybe my take on it stems from growing up feeling unwanted, but I don't seek to be desired as much as it seems others do. I've had to find appreciation and love within myself. It also helps to spend time with different kinds of people in order to quickly realize that people value different kinds of traits and persons, so being rejected by one type of person doesn't mean no one else will find us appealing. Diversity rules.

 

[Honey]

My question is in-regards to dating and things like that, how do you handle it? How do you not beat yourself up about it?

I have my own process that keeps me smiling no matter what but I would like to hear others first.

I think it can be hard not to take rejection personally even when objectively you know it is not personal in a lot of situations. I lost one of my freelance jobs last week and that was painful but they did not need my services anymore because of a merger. I still kind of felt rejected though.

I deal with rejection by paying attention to my thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations for a while then just moving on to something else which is preferably highly practical. Last week when I lost the job, I went to the gym a lot & exercised furiously, that really helped.

I am not really a person who holds on to particular feeling states for long so in addition to the exercising, journal writing, keeping busy, complaining to all my friends and family and semi meditation practices, I just wait for the feelings to do their thing and then go away.

 

[knight in battle]

My question is in-regards to dating and things like that, how do you handle it? How do you not beat yourself up about it?

I have my own process that keeps me smiling no matter what but I would like to hear others first.

I'm glad you have your own process. It will save you in your most dire moments, because it is a process that is adapted to you.

I also have my own process. When my ENFP rejected me, I reminded myself how wonderful I felt even asking him out, and how we developed a relational connection as a result of that, even if it didn't attain to a level of erotic intimacy.