[INFJ] Blurry, or not really?

LezKitty

LezKitty

Newbie
MBTI
Infj
Hey everyone, I am new to this forum. Also my native language isnt english, so excuse my missspellings. I try to keep my story short. I hope to get some perspectives which I might have not considered yet or which I am just not able to see right now. My friends didnt get me (I am an INFJ), so...yeah.
Well, I am studing social work. Theres a young woman, my age as far as I know, which I layed eyes on from the very first sight. It was like that feeling shes familiar, but I couldnt find any of my past memories where she actually came up. And my memory is quite well! But I knew (had that feeling) that she comes from the town I grew up in and it turned out, that thats actually true! Many times when I looked at her I felt like I am looking at myself for some reason. And I know how crazy that sounds, but I never felt that before! Maybe I had that feeling because she seems a very privat person, more quiet and very mysterious. I couldnt read her so far, so its like I got no clue about her, but my guts tell me she feels like super close to me. And I mean the INFJs will understand that its freaking weird for an INFJ not to be able to see through someone. Maybe shes an INFJ I dont know! Anyway well we dont really speak to each other, its been two years now, when we had this situation when she looked me deep and long in the eyes, for some reason I just got stuck in her look. She started smiling, I looked away like "oh my god did she just touch my fucking soul deep?!?!??" Super scared tho. Probably sent her a weird sign. Well I know she sees me and I know she sees me, its just I know! She looks at me like you know, kinda secretly, but when I look back, she isnt looking away, she got the balls! Lately she even says hello to me and looks me deep in the eyes. But we never speak more. I cant speak to her, like I am acting like an idiot okay? And I once talked to her when I was dipsy which gave me more courage, but when I did overthinking, you can imagine how stupid I acted. Anyway. Since covid we dont see us much in the university anymore. But when we see us, she gives me longer eye contact, I dont know, maybe its my imagination and my hopefull and wishfull thinking. Because as much as I know she got a boyfriend. Well she had one two years ago... dont know the update tho. But still, the eye contact she gives me is making me wonder if she knows that I look differently at her (like, interested) or she really sees me and has kind of interest?!?! Or maybe shes just like "wtf is wrong with that girl?!??! I feel super stupid tho! Like, I am not 25 anymore but she makes me feel like 16 and insecure. I try to be me around her, which I can handle well most of the time, but I could never really start a conversation. Anyway, we wont see us much, because most of the time we got online schooling and its the last 8 months before graduading. Which means, I really want to get in touch with her, but I am also super scared of getting my heart broken, like super bad! Still I am very unsure if she actually gives a damn or if I missinterprete her eye contact. Since I cooled down around her a little my gut tells me since last time, that I really feel like it is kinda "weird" that I catch her looking at me first! But yeah, my insecure side is like "she just knows that youre secretly looking at her". Its a freaking dillemma and it drives me crazy. Specially because I just never felt like this or had any similar experiences like that. I dont what I actually expect now from this, maybe like: should I trust my gut? What do you think about this? I think I just need someone that has a better see through than I do right now and get some opinions. I know its kinda hard to tell or get a good perspective alone frome me telling this, but its like I really need some advice! Please and thank you!
 
In my experience, when you are feeling some kind of strong way about somebody they are generally having similar kinds of feelings, though intensity and specifics can differ a bit.
Whether they are ready or able to admit those things is a different matter, but if you don't take some sort of direct action to find out then you'll always just wonder.
Action brings focus.
 
Thanks for answering and sharing your experience! And youre right I have to take actions if I want to find out. I just dont know how right now, maybe I need a plan or anything, so I wont make aconplete fool out of myself. Its super hard to jump over my own shaddow and get further than saying hi. But what I am sure of is, I want to do it in person and not ober social media.
 
Just be super awkward, people like that anyway.
Embrace the weird.
 
I don't know. Two years? It seems like something should have happened by now if it was going to happen.
That said, you won't know unless you ask and if she turns you down, you're graduating anyway.

Heartbreak is part of life. If someone is that interesting to you, approach them. You won't always have two years of chances, or even a second chance.
 
Asa said:
I don't know. Two years? It seems like something should have happened by now if it was going to happen.
That said, you won't know unless you ask and if she turns you down, you're graduating anyway.

Heartbreak is part of life. If someone is that interesting to you, approach them. You won't always have two years of chances, or even a second chance.
Click to expand...
Yeah its been two years, because we had one year of online schooling due to covid. 6 months of mostly online schooling. But still I get what you mean, get in touch has many ways, doesnt it? And yes I will have to give it a shot. I am starting to realize that whatever will happen, I just need to know, so I can move on from this or get into it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Asa
Go for it. Do your research. Find out if she is even naturally attracted to women.
I personally could not fathom not going for my dream girl, especially after finding out she found me attractive.
I would have regretted it all my life if I had not tried.
Never knowing what could have been could drive you crazy later.
If she says she isn’t interested…that’s closure either way and in my opinion, is better than never knowing what could have been.
 
Th
InfernoMink said:
Go for it. Do your research. Find out if she is even naturally attracted to women.
I personally could not fathom not going for my dream girl, especially after finding out she found me attractive.
I would have regretted it all my life if I had not tried.
Never knowing what could have been could drive you crazy later.
If she says she isn’t interested…that’s closure either way and in my opinion, is better than never knowing what could have been.
Click to expand...
anks for your advice! Yeah I did a little reseach and all I know is that she is super privat, like you wont find much about her privat life. But I do know she sure supports equal rights for lgbt. No one that knows her has ever seen her boyfriend in real life and she sure is out a lot without him. But yeah thats just all that I found out and doesnt mean anything. So yeah, All I got is to try for a shot and if I wont, I know i would regret it so bad! I never made the first move, which probably makes it harder for me, but it might time to learn and go for it.
 
LezKitty said:
Th

anks for your advice! Yeah I did a little reseach and all I know is that she is super privat, like you wont find much about her privat life. But I do know she sure supports equal rights for lgbt. No one that knows her has ever seen her boyfriend in real life and she sure is out a lot without him. But yeah thats just all that I found out and doesnt mean anything. So yeah, All I got is to try for a shot and if I wont, I know i would regret it so bad! I never made the first move, which probably makes it harder for me, but it might time to learn and go for it.
Click to expand...

I support the LGBTQ too.
But that doesn’t mean I would participate in the lifestyle. So I think that’s not the best barometer to use…but your first move should always be friendship based cause that will never fail.
Don’t keep talking to me because I will encourage your ass to live boldly.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top