Broken Hearts

[SIZE=Default]Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?

I have. My first boyfriend who I was with from 15-18, who I didn't think I could possibly love as much as I did.

How did you deal with it?

Walllllowed in it. For months. Got on with the things I needed to do, but was basically a shell. All I did was mourn for about 6 months.

What did you learn from it?

That time and space are the only true healers, and you can't rush it or force it. Intense pain can be incredibly helpful as well, since the absence of it can help you know you're getting better.

Are you willing to share you experience of it?

Just a typical first love that was amazing but that ran its course for him before it had for me. We were very very grown up and intense in our relationship.. and he was truly the best first love I could have ever imagined. He was perfect to me for the whole 3 years, and even in the breakup (in a way I wish I'd had something to hate or resent him for). He was very firm on the time and space front, which absolutely killed me since my world suddenly went from revolving around him to not having anything of him but my memories. Very sad times.

Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?

Absolutely. I'm not sure I'm capable or loving or giving that much again, knowing how much it hurts when it ends. I hope that's not true, and that maybe I just haven't met anyone as good as him since, and that's what I'm holding back from... but I think it'll take something incredibly special for me to open up that fully again.

Did it change you? For the better or for worse?

Being with him changed me for the better, I think the breakup changed me a bit for both. I realised I can handle intense pain, and that nothing could ever hurt me or take me off guard like that again. But it also made me lose my faith in the longevity of love, which is a shame. It's made me cynical about the possible durations of a relationship with another person.
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Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?
yes, it was likened to a drowning suffocation more than a breaking.
How did you deal with it?
i continue to accept and forgive in every coming moment of my life. it is a lasting presence, one which i feel both pain as well as understanding in.
What did you learn from it?
never to fall for an ESTP (im joking). really, i learned to be much more open whether it be regarding interests, lifestyles, or ideas. it brought me to truly see that there are vastly different views of the world, which led me to better understand myself in order to understand her and why it did not work. by so doing, i discovered and became intrigued by MBTI.
Are you willing to share you experience of it?
if you could love someone, but not necessarily like them. if you do not want to be with them, yet they are with you always through everything you do. that's the gist.
Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?
it made me realize the positive side of emotional pain and uncovered my naivete of the negative side of people.
Did it change you? For the better or for worse?
it was a much needed pain in my life that brought about lasting change toward the good.
 
Pristinegirl said:
If a guy says: im so glad that im getting out of high school and meet new ppl.

Does it mean that he never want's to see me again since we wen't to the same class? (I thought he was my Best friend) :(
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wouldn't it have to depend on the way in which he said it? perhaps he truly is excited to graduate and meet new people, without intentions of letting go of the old. was his comment inferring something; specifically directed at you? hmm...if he was your best friend and still is, i don't think he never wants to see you again. there isn't enough in that statement to suggest so.
 
I've thought about it too, but he indicated that he will 'move on'. So I have told him that I will miss him so much and he doesnt really object - nor reassure me differently.
I have also asked him if we will ever see each other again? And he simply laughs and goofs around with it.
So today I told him that he might wake up one day and find that he lost a diamond while he was busy collecting stones, and again he joked around with it saying that what he may think is a diamond may simply be a hardrock stone. :/
 
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That will not take away from your being as a diamond.
 
Q: Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?
A: yes

Q: How did you deal with it?
A: very badly.

Q: What did you learn from it?
A: that I was a young (23) foolish, idealistic (when it came down to the 1) infj and she like most was a 98.5%er.

Q: Are you willing to share you experience of it?
A: time wounds all heal

Q: Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?
A: pain is easy. it is pain times hope that is the royal flush fucker. hope is the insidious cancer that cripples an infj's spirit. but, truth be told an infj's spirit must, I repeat MUST be crippled when it comes to matters of the heart. it grounds us! think Nietzsche on this matter. we may make great lovers with huge intestinal fortitude on paper, but, c'mon...let us face the truth. which is most of the time we involve ourselves with a person of the population of 98.5%ers. how could anything good come from that union when one (infj) desires to mate for life and most of the population is akin to the the 7 year locust when it involves relationships...awake, dig out of the hole, fly around (like a chicken with it's head cut off), mate with as many as you can, bury yourself underground, sleep. repeat every 7 years etc. most humans have the same traits. they forget the theory of holes (look it up) and are anchored (thru our eyes) with the utmost delicious denial.

Q: Did it change you? For the better or for worse?
A: yes. short term worse. alas, long term better. ; )
 
Q: Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?
A: Yes.

Q: How did you deal with it?
A: I was on a CPB for a week while they tracked down someone to harvest a heart from.

Q: What did you learn from it?
A: Never to visit Pankot again.

Q: Are you willing to share you experience of it?
A: NEVER VISIT PANKOT!

Q: Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?
A: Yes. I was put into an artificially induced coma for the most of it, but afterwards I decided to nuke northern india to ensure that the Kali Thuggee cult is forever destroyed.

Q: Did it change you? For the better or for worse?
A: I'm now a Genocidal maniac in posession of 4 of the 5 Sankara Stones.
 
Shai Gar said:
Q: Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?
A: Yes.

Q: How did you deal with it?
A: I was on a CPB for a week while they tracked down someone to harvest a heart from.

Q: What did you learn from it?
A: Never to visit Pankot again.

Q: Are you willing to share you experience of it?
A: NEVER VISIT PANKOT!

Q: Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?
A: Yes. I was put into an artificially induced coma for the most of it, but afterwards I decided to nuke northern india to ensure that the Kali Thuggee cult is forever destroyed.

Q: Did it change you? For the better or for worse?
A: I'm now a Genocidal maniac in posession of 4 of the 5 Sankara Stones.
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You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Shai Gar again.
 
Pristinegirl said:
I've thought about it too, but he indicated that he will 'move on'. So I have told him that I will miss him so much and he doesnt really object - nor reassure me differently.
I have also asked him if we will ever see each other again? And he simply laughs and goofs around with it.
So today I told him that he might wake up one day and find that he lost a diamond while he was busy collecting stones, and again he joked around with it saying that what he may think is a diamond may simply be a hardrock stone. :/
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If he can't see you for the diamond you are, he was never worth it in the beginning.
 
just me said:
That will not take away from your being as a diamond.
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minority funk said:
If he can't see you for the diamond you are, he was never worth it in the beginning.
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Aw thank you guys. Its just hard because I feel that if I can't be His diamond then I am probably nothing but a stone because I only want to be his diamond anyway. Somehow it gets to my self-esteem, if you have any advice on how to deal with such matter, I'd gladly take it!!!
 
I diamond, in its finished form, is a miracle of light. Its polished surfaces show different hues of color while refracting light through itself. The refractions are a miracle to look at, and pleasing to the eye. My young friend, it takes two to have what is meant to be. I am certain you will find someone that also wants you to be their diamond.
 
:drama: Oh you are too direct sometimes Shai, haha I know that I have to suck it up allready.

I will just have to hang it on for a little longer untill this passes. Thank you for the beautiufl analogy Just me, I definetly possess the colors, like a rainbow but not in its finished form. So maybe one could say I'm a diamond in the rough who will be polished :)
 
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The polishing sometimes hurts, yet helps to better reveal the different beautiful colors from within. I sometimes feel we are all "in the rough", so well put.
 
Pristinegirl said:
If a guy says: im so glad that im getting out of high school and meet new ppl.

Does it mean that he never want's to see me again since we wen't to the same class? (I thought he was my Best friend) :(
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I doubt that is what he would mean by that, but you know him better than I.
 
uberrogo said:
I doubt that is what he would mean by that, but you know him better than I.
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Ahh I hope that you are right! Maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill. 'Hope for the best but prepare for the worst' right ? ^^

just me said:
The polishing sometimes hurts, yet helps to better reveal the different beautiful colors from within. I sometimes feel we are all "in the rough", so well put.
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Aww thank you. Perhaps I will find that this leads to something even better, which wouldn't have happened otherwise. We are constantly developing diamonds ^^
 
Azure_Knight Several questions...

Have you ever had you heart broken by someone (not figuratively of course) or something?

Yes I have..

How did you deal with it? I ran away from her it was easier than staying with the irreparable damage that had been done. Plus I had just about had enough of her anyway.

What did you learn from it? I learned that some things cannot be fixed. You can do everything under the sun but nothing is gonna change. I learned that two people have to work from the same page. I learned to listen to myself more and to stop being nice all the time. Acting like a spineless jellyfish get's you screwed over in the end.

Are you willing to share you experience of it? Maybe I don't want to complain.

Did having your heart broken changed the way that you felt about people or pain?
Yes it did. It made me bitter and it made me really see peoples motives. I am not quick to believe anyone anymore. I know now that all things will end.
Did it change you? For the better or for worse? I think I may be worse. I wonder now what I would feel like if I had met some one who actually loved me, and that I loved them and if my life would have been better. I fell like I wasted a lot of time for nothing but pain. It was a difficult time and in the end it was all created by me. And if I would have just showed her the door none of this would have happened. So in the end I broke my own heart. I am my own worst enemy. I can't help everybody there are too many that need assistance....
 
efromm said:
So in the end I broke my own heart. I am my own worst enemy. I can't help everybody there are too many that need assistance....
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what a stroke of insight! :)
 
Pristinegirl said:
Aw thank you guys. Its just hard because I feel that if I can't be His diamond then I am probably nothing but a stone because I only want to be his diamond anyway. Somehow it gets to my self-esteem, if you have any advice on how to deal with such matter, I'd gladly take it!!!
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It might help to realize even if it hurts your self-esteem now, it will not feel like that forever. This is a temporary pain just like having the flu. I'd rather see you not hurt, but if it hits too deep, it is okay to hurt and just focus on the certainty that it will pass. It is a horrible thing to spend years with someone who is not invested in your worth and beauty as a person. This hurts now, but it is like resetting a bone. Spending years with someone who might talk like that to you would cause your broken bone to grow crooked and limit your ability to be your full self. Resetting the bone now hurts more, but that pain will pass and it will grow straight and strong. I believe the spot were the bone heals becomes the strongest part. This may be true for your heart as well. Someone will treasure you, but it will require patience at this point in time.
 
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