bullying

[Zero Angel]

Just thought this would be relevant: http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

 

[DefectiveCreative]

It is a myth that bullies have low-self esteem, and self-esteem programs are misguided. Bullies generally think too highly of themselves and need to be taken down a notch.

I think different people bully for different reasons. For some it's because they have low self-esteem, for other it's due to a sense of entitlement, for others it's about regaining a sense of control over thier lives...etc.

 

[Gaze]

As for bullying, it should not be tolerated in schools or on the schoolbus, or anywhere really. I feel like schools need to come down hard on kids who fight and especially kids who edge them on. That can be hard to do, but bullying i think is a result of attitudes people have that is not necessarily a part of our nature, and we need to discourage those attitudes (the "I'm entitled to x, y, and z" attitudes). It is a myth that bullies have low-self esteem, and self-esteem programs are misguided. Bullies generally think too highly of themselves and need to be taken down a notch.

Agree. It's too often justified by telling victims to toughen up and deal with it. Hypothetically speaking, if i don't have the right to push you, hit you, or lie about you, why do you have the right to bully me? Verbal and emotional abuse have such insidious effects that most people don't notice them until victims do something to endanger themselves or others. Many take the abuse and suffer the consequences emotionally in private, toughen up, become insensitive to others themselves, or otherwise become emotional addicts to abuse later on in their relationships, or allow resentment towards the bullying to build only to have it expressed in a negative way. If someone survives it, it's in spite of the abuse, not because of it.

We need to quit excusing insensitivity, by saying "that's just how the world or people are." It's giving someone carte blanche to say, "it's in my nature to be a jerk, so don't complain if i am one." If we keep giving people excuses for doing something, then they will continue to claim they have no choice or control over their actions.