Celibacy.

I think it can make you happier. It's not necessarily any guarantee of a constant state of happiness, but then what is? I've never known sex to guarantee a constant state of happiness.
 
Looking back on my younger years makes me cringe.

Quite a few years ago I decided to be celibate; and even though there have been a few times when I almost caved in, I have never looked back. Loving my peace, quiet, reading, meditating, solitude, etc. instead.
 
Anywhere But Here said:
I don't believe that's accurate. In R & J, Juliet says, "wherefore art thou Romeo..." Not 'where art thou'.
Wherefore means why, therefore, Juliet is asking 'why are you'.
But, justme quoted "where art thou" which means 'where are you'.
Click to expand...

Why art thou........................Why are you? Where are you in your life and understanding? Why are you Romeo instead of someone else?

Why do you have to be who you are by name?

In the Bible Old Testament, God comes asking where Adam and Eve were, like He didn't Know. They said they heard His voice and ran and hid themselves with fig leaves because they were naked. God asks how they knew they were naked. Makes one think...
 
Last edited:
Benefits - self contained, not dependent on the body of another to satisfy wants or needs. you're not dependent on the physical to feel your best self. Sex doesn't define you.

Cons - Loneliness can't always be cured by engaging in social activities or other substitutes. Sometimes, the body's need for closeness with another body for emotional, social, and physical reasons struggles to be fulfilled. Denying the desire may only make the need worse, not less.

I see sex as a full bodied experience, melding mind, body, and spirit. Anything less may be momentarily fulfilling, but later hated or regretted.
 
Celibacy is beautiful.
 
The times i've been celibate (and i am now) it was because i've never slept around casually with girls, i just couldn't, only with one girlfriend. As for other motives, to each his/her own, personally there's just too much fear and trust issues around sex to do it casually with someone i'm not in love with.
 
I experience this as an ongoing part of my life. What began as ambivalence seems like it has become more of a decision.

There are changes in my mind over time, maybe it's like relaxing into a too-hot bath. I could step out of the bath at any time, but it becomes more comfortable to remain in the bath.

I don't know how people in relationships really find time for anything other than the relationship, it is so time consuming and inconvenient.

I'm increasingly grossed out by the thought of the bodies of others.

Some things about being single and not having sex are wonderful. The best thing by far is the privacy of body. My body is an utterly off limits zone to others, they have no rights or powers here, or even knowledge of any kind here. Sanctity.

Any feelings of loneliness seem less significant over time.

I still appreciate beautiful men, but it seems less important than ever that I do. There just isn't really desire anymore, it's like looking on a view or a landscape painting and not needing to be part of it to appreciate it.

I went to a party not too long ago and there was a man there who I wanted to notice me. When he did, I was satisfied and left the party without speaking to him.
 
This was an interesting read.

Sex is a biological imperative. Of course there are numerous social and personal elements to it, but there is nothing wrong with acknowledging how much or little you are physically inclined to want sex. There is also nothing wrong with allowing your personal beliefs dictate how you act upon that need.

American society has a fucked up view about sex and the human body imho. If people could be more honest and actually willing to have discussions about sex there would be fewer issues.

I naturally have a very high sex drive, but because of my anxiety and personal beliefs I never really acted upon it with others (because I know my body best and I'm not going to risk the complications sex could bring for what will most probably be mediocre sex).

After separating from ex I was celibate for 17 months. The first half was fully by choice. I had grown to hate even being touched by ex and honestly thought I would never want sex again. But then biology kicked in, but I wasn't At all ready for the emotional aspects that I knew would inevitably occur because my emotions are in everything I do.

Last month I felt ready and have embarked upon ... something. I still have conflicting emotions about elements of it, but it is better for me than celibacy was, especially a celibacy following a horrible relationship that included sexual abuse.

As much as I never thought casual sex would be for me, it's very healing in a way, and since we are fully open with each other regarding our wants and needs I hope neither of us ends up hurt. I don't know that it will last, but for now it is what's right...just like celibacy was right and may be right again.

Anyway enjoy my Sudafed induced overshare ramblings :p
 
I was more comfortable with one night stands when I was younger. It's not that I'm against it in principle but usually something about the person or experience can make me feel like a bit of an arse after the event. Afterwards it can feel in balance- not worth the effort. I've had the friends with benefits thing too, but as it was a very passionate connection with a man I've known all my life, and an on-off affair that spanned several decades. The sex was amazing but it screwed me up because to have that kind of sex with no real nurturing or love was pretty cruddy. I have politely declined his advances in recent years, much to his chagrin.:relieved:
Great sex is great but these days I tend to remember my humanness too and if a 'sound' opportunity presents itself then great, but I'm wary of feeling used. I don't want to just feel like a body to someone.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top