Not2bforgot10
Community Member
- MBTI
- xNFJ
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- 3w4 SX
I just talked with her more about this last night and she said that she'd be willing to compromise the alcohol because she's "decided she doesn't want to lose me." I told her I don't want her to lose herself, or any part of herself since she originally deemed the interest in alcohol to be a large part of her life, enough to refuse giving it up. She said "It's not worth losing you over it." I want to make it very clear that I did NOT give her an ultimatum; I tried making this very clear to her, as well. I specifically told her to do what she wanted and if she wants to drink because it's that much a part of her liking, taste, whatever, then fine, but that I wanted her to be herself.
At this point I am just scared because even though she has agreed to compromise the alcohol, I don't feel as though she was honestly ready for the compromise. I told her this, and she tried saying that she'd had a lot of "time" to think about it. I'm not sure if she was just saying this to preserve the peace or what, but yeah. Personally, I think there's the potential that later down the road she will feel resentful for doing this and having to suppress her impulses, esp. if they're that much a "part" of her. I don't think she can easily separate the two. I'm delighted that she wants to be with me, but the compromise doesn't feel genuine, which I feel could later lead to great dissapointment.
Oh, and she's not willing to admit she has a problem with alcohol. Even though she has been able to suppress her impulses now, too, doesn't mean she doesn't have a problem, but it's the fact that she defends alcohol so much and has been headstrong, refusing to give it up at all costs and how she defined it as a "part" of her that concerns me.
At this point I am just scared because even though she has agreed to compromise the alcohol, I don't feel as though she was honestly ready for the compromise. I told her this, and she tried saying that she'd had a lot of "time" to think about it. I'm not sure if she was just saying this to preserve the peace or what, but yeah. Personally, I think there's the potential that later down the road she will feel resentful for doing this and having to suppress her impulses, esp. if they're that much a "part" of her. I don't think she can easily separate the two. I'm delighted that she wants to be with me, but the compromise doesn't feel genuine, which I feel could later lead to great dissapointment.
Oh, and she's not willing to admit she has a problem with alcohol. Even though she has been able to suppress her impulses now, too, doesn't mean she doesn't have a problem, but it's the fact that she defends alcohol so much and has been headstrong, refusing to give it up at all costs and how she defined it as a "part" of her that concerns me.