Dating Down

Bird said:
Men who find themselves less attractive physically usually put forth more effort and try harder. They know there is more to a relationship than their looks, they don't have that to fall back upon. They care.
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Sorry gotta call bullshit, 1st of all, physical attractiveness is rare. MUCH rarer then common looks. Which are common by definition. Off the rip there is 10X more "regular" people then attractive, and in my experience average looking dudes tend to be the biggest assholes of all, mostly because there are so many of them so every time you see someones heart getting shattered its a numbers game that its a regular looking dude.

Plus you aren't even taking into account the amount of attractive people with self esteem and image issues, or even the ones who are just really humble.

Pretending that ugly dudes somehow try harder is a complete falsehood Bird.
 
Billy said:
Off the rip there is 10X more "regular" people then attractive, and in my experience average looking dudes tend to be the biggest assholes of all, mostly because there are so many of them so every time you see someones heart getting shattered its a numbers game that its a regular looking dude.
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Rather, the odds would cause the biggest assholes of all to tend to be average looking dudes. (Semantic correction, but it's a logically significant distinction.)
 
Billy said:
Plus you aren't even taking into account the amount of attractive people with self esteem and image issues, or even the ones who are just really humble.
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Yeah, many of the most highly attractive people i've met were some of the nicest, most genuine, down to earth, thoughtful individuals. They were great, but at the end of the day, they still dated highly attractive people. So, beautiful and humble as they were, they still still went for people who were similar to them. But it's probably a matter of compatibility more than anything else. Not sure how this would fit into the theory mentioned in the article.
 
klutzo said:
When we got married, I was much more attractive than my husband, but now, due to my serious illness, the tables have turned completely. But, he loves me as a person, and knows he is far too eccentric to have an easy time finding another mate he could be happy with, beautiful or otherwise.






klutzo
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This is off topic but, are you serious?
 
Res said:
Yeah, many of the most highly attractive people i've met were some of the nicest, most genuine, down to earth, thoughtful individuals. They were great, but at the end of the day, they still dated highly attractive people. So, beautiful and humble as they were, they still still went for people who were similar to them. But it's probably a matter of compatibility more than anything else. Not sure how this would fit into the theory mentioned in the article.
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In my experience it has also been similar, highly attractive people I have met have been kinder in general... I think this might be because they tend to have an easier time because of their pretty face to be accepted by other people, people gravitate towards beauty. As I say it increases access.

As for them going after another attractive person, well it makes sense, we are ALL attracted to beauty, even beautiful people. Why should someone attractive be judged differently then someone less attractive? Would a really unattractive guy turn down a beautiful woman because he didnt want to be shallow? HELL NO, he would be all over it, and people wouldn't "get it" but they would be happy for him as long as he was happy.

You are hinting at a double standard.

We use what we got, to get the best we can get. We shouldnt hate on attractive people because they can more easily get another attractive person. Thats nature.
 
Billy said:
You are hinting at a double standard.

We use what we got, to get the best we can get. We shouldnt hate on attractive people because they can more easily get another attractive person. Thats nature.
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I mean, yeah, it makes sense that people are going to pursue what they see as the best for themselves - attractive or highly attractive partners. The assumption underlying this is greater relationship satisfaction. So, I'm not saying anything is wrong with desiring/wanting to be with someone who is very attractive. It's normal/natural. Maybe i'm just hatin' :D

Not hinting so much at a double standard but maybe adding to the article's assumptions about highly attractive people "settling" for less attractive because they're more loyal/appreciative. I guess if you're with someone who is as highly attractive, you don't worry so much about acceptance, because you're already rated highly by your partner. But it doesn't necessarily mean you'll be treated better. We have the trophy spouse syndrome. Have a partner who is very attractive but treat them, behind close doors, as if they're a possession or an appendage. Partners may take each other for granted that they'll always be that attractive and always be there. So, i'm not sure attractive-attractive as a pairing means relationship satisfaction is higher.
 
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Bird said:
This is not to say that all incredibly attractive men are megadouches gallivanting around trying to fuck every pretty girl they interact with. But the chances of them being this way are more likely than a less attractive man.
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I have ment plenty of average or below average men that act JUST LIKE THAT. They really don't care how they look, a lot of times they don't care too much how the other person looks either. I know women that way too.

Some people just like sex, a lot.
 
I still disagree, if the article is saying that unattractive people are somehow MORE loyal and more in tune with our feelings or whatever, then I am saying that the author of said article is clearly an insecure unattractive person who is projecting their insecurities, because that is utter bunk.

How you treat people has more to do with your personality, how you were raised, and how you feel then what your face looks like.
 
Billy said:
How you treat people has more to do with your personality, how you were raised, and how you feel then what your face looks like.
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Agreed.
 
Billy said:
I still disagree, if the article is saying that unattractive people are somehow MORE loyal and more in tune with our feelings or whatever, then I am saying that the author of said article is clearly an insecure unattractive person who is projecting their insecurities, because that is utter bunk.

How you treat people has more to do with your personality, how you were raised, and how you feel then what your face looks like.
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So, you don't think someone's looks has any effect on how they may treat someone?
 
Attractiveness is subjective.

Depending on the person on a rating of 0 to 10, with 10 being hottest, I average around a 1.5 but some people have rated me as high as 7. My husband however consistently gets at least 6 and up to 9.5. Incidentally, he thinks I'm a 9, but only started thinking so after we were in a relationship for a long time. I'm perfectly fine with that. Honestly I would hate being the attractive one in a relationship, because if I were attractive I'd honestly wonder if someone was with me just for my body.
 
well im an ugly guy dating a really hot chick and im not as greatful as i should be i guess im an anomoly
 
Revenwyn said:
Attractiveness is subjective.

Depending on the person on a rating of 0 to 10, with 10 being hottest, I average around a 1.5 but some people have rated me as high as 7. My husband however consistently gets at least 6 and up to 9.5. Incidentally, he thinks I'm a 9, but only started thinking so after we were in a relationship for a long time. I'm perfectly fine with that. Honestly I would hate being the attractive one in a relationship, because if I were attractive I'd honestly wonder if someone was with me just for my body.
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Trust me, if that was ever the case, you'd notice.
A good sign is that they like to tell you either subtly or un-subtly to "stop talking so much".
 
Res said:
So, you don't think someone's looks has any effect on how they may treat someone?
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No... I was tempted to say, only if they were incredibly shallow, but that says more about their personality then it does their looks.
 
Billy said:
No... I was tempted to say, only if they were incredibly shallow, but that says more about their personality then it does their looks.
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Ah, ok. Yeah, i guess it really does come down to personal beliefs and attitudes.
 
To Bananaphone,
Yes, I am serious. My husband waited until he was 38 to get married, and would have stayed single forever rather than compromise on his lifestyle to be with someone. He is very eccentric, but mostly in the same ways that I am, so it is okay for us. He scores 100% on introversion, just for one example. Maybe I should have said he is very far away from average, thus limiting his compatible choices, rather than saying he's eccentric, if that word threw off my meaning. Nah, he has some habits that have to be called eccentric, sorry.

klutzo
 
klutzo said:
To Bananaphone,
Yes, I am serious. My husband waited until he was 38 to get married, and would have stayed single forever rather than compromise on his lifestyle to be with someone. He is very eccentric, but mostly in the same ways that I am, so it is okay for us. He scores 100% on introversion, just for one example. Maybe I should have said he is very far away from average, thus limiting his compatible choices, rather than saying he's eccentric, if that word threw off my meaning. Nah, he has some habits that have to be called eccentric, sorry.

klutzo
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Do you give him the idea that no one else would have him/he's too eccentric to be compatible with anyone else or does he reinforce it himself?
 
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Personally I only get involved with people who I look at and feel are physically attractive to me. But they have to be on my level emotionally and intellectually. Most of them would be considered above average physically, but I don't really ask other people's opinion on their appearance.

Whether or not they are more or less attractive than ME is another story. I don't actually know. Probably about the same. But I haven't had any long term successful relationships so I can't really say lol.
 
They say that most people date and marry within their "range" 5's with 5's 6's with 6's etc...

There is a little wiggle room for personality/money but not a ton. In general.
 
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