[INFJ] Define the meaning of Boundaries

ClevelandINTP said:
That would be inauthentic to not voice opinion. I don’t challenge everything and everyone, mr. absolute
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You said yourself that it is your MO. You very often say one thing and then reverse your statement in order to win the appeal of a person.
That's very inauthentic.
 
Wyote said:
You said yourself that it is your MO. You very often say one thing and then reverse your statement in order to win the appeal of a person.
That's very inauthentic.
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I challenge bullshit and will ask questions to things or assumptions I don’t understand

I like debate, yeah, but I don’t take extreme positions or operate out of malice
 
Starting to think INFJs are not equipped for debate. This is an assumption I’m reconsidering. Thanks!
 
ClevelandINTP said:
You made a circular argument

Infinite loop, bro
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Also, it's not a circular argument.
It's not an argument at all, it's just what you do.
You're the one trapped in it.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
This is an interesting narrative.

I don't think the 'entire message board' 'erupted'... and I don't think the reaction you've received is anything to do with calling INFJs 'too sensitive'. INFJs are sensitive, everybody knows this, it's the way you've gone about saying it.

It's the whole faux-objectivity, 'your feelings are meaningless' schtick.

Hey I get you. I'm sometimes misunderstood on here when I take devil's advocate positions and expect people to dispassionately prove me wrong in the name of good faith debate (Te), but the INFJ tertiary Ti equates positions/arguments with some kind of deeply held belief or character flaw, so that's more problematic than I sometimes hope it will be.

The thing is, though, you can't hold that your 'INTPness' (or 'INTJness') makes you exempt from upsetting people simply because that's not how you work. That's just immature.
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I get this

But I would say this is sort of my point

INFJs (broadly speaking) expect things presented to fit their preferences

If that concession is made, and no reciprocal effort is made to the other person

An INFJ has tilted the balance of a relationship by making the other be accommodating to them

I don’t think that’s immature per se to notice that discrepancy

INFJ says insensitive or uninformed things and no one cares or can really call them out on it because they don’t take negative feedback well either generally speaking from my experience

Errr um prefer sugar coating after avoidance

Which by the way is not a preference of all other types

So by default, it’s accommodate the INFJ generally speaking

I’m not saying I do this all the time in the real world but I notice it enough to bring it forward for intelligent conversation
 
I guess what I’m getting at is shit goes both ways and don’t be a taker (myself included)

And by the way, what you (myself included) think you’re giving is not always seen and appreciated to the degree of the other

If you’re (myself included) having to change more of the core of who you are for someone else, that’s bullshit
 
We are not trying to dismiss it. But it’s very difficult trying to converse with you when all you do is try to group all INFJs into one negative categorization and then think it is okay.
 
ClevelandINTP said:
I guess what I’m getting at is shit goes both ways and don’t be a taker (myself included)
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Fair.
And by the way, what you (myself included) think you’re giving is not always seen and appreciated to the degree of the other
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True.
If you’re (myself included) having to change more of the core of who you are for someone else, that’s bullshit
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Why?
 
ClevelandINTP said:
I get this

But I would say this is sort of my point

INFJs (broadly speaking) expect things presented to fit their preferences

If that concession is made, and no reciprocal effort is made to the other person

An INFJ has tilted the balance of a relationship by making the other be accommodating to them

I don’t think that’s immature per se to notice that discrepancy

INFJ says insensitive or uninformed things and no one cares or can really call them out on it because they don’t take negative feedback well either generally speaking from my experience

Errr um prefer sugar coating after avoidance

Which by the way is not a preference of all other types

So by default, it’s accommodate the INFJ generally speaking

I’m not saying I do this all the time in the real world but I notice it enough to bring it forward for intelligent conversation
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This is an INFJ space, though, so you've got to expect that discussions will be had in ways that INFJs prefer.

This means that they prefer you to use qualifiers, caveats and a very 'humble' and 'uncertain' style of writing, rather than the 'this seems true, prove me wrong' approach that you are prefering. Their tertiary Ti means that they equate opinions with you, so you need to make sure you tell them exactly where you're coming from, or they won't understand you. Yes it might seem a bit weasely, but it's all in the name of harmony which makes this a generally nice place to hang out.

I'm not going to pretend that I came here looking for debate and looking to be challenged - I didn't. I thought I was INFJ at the time, so all the Fe-ing that is done around here (including the sensitivity) was very nice and comfortable, but you've got to understand that they simply don't like the robustness you are pushing upon them, and yet you keep doing it.

This forum is not real life; maybe you just have to see that this is an INFJ space and you're not going to get them to make the concessions you are insisting upon.

I mean, to be honest the thing that's most annoying me about this exchange and the exchanges you have, is the damn one sentence posts. I could moan about how you don't synthesise your points, but that's just my Ni preference as against your Ne preference. Show the same courtesy for the INFJ Fe preference in this space.
 
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