Okay, so it boils down to this, for me... I think:
Someone who has the ability to sedate me with their words, when I am frenzied, and they make suggestions in such an unassuming manner that I feel compelled to follow them, even if I don't want to, because I genuinely trust that THEY know better than I. The basis of this, however is them convincing me that they genuinely care for me, and put my needs before their own. Time will tell, but INTJs use their time VERY efficiently.
Additives which charm me:
-intelligence
-tolerance
-patience
-writing
-kindness
-the offering of any act of kindness
-the word "PLEASE." (I cannot stress this enough)
-individuality
-remembering & mentioning details about me
-speaking highly of me, or someone I care about to someone else
-taking up my cause, or taking an interest in it
-smiling, silently while making direct eye contact... *stops heart*... it just WORKS.
-the words, "I'm sorry."
-listening
-opening up
-a soft touch
-an unexpected compliment
-nerves (SO CUTE! Eeeeek!)
-sarcastic sense of humor!!!! (those void of this need not apply...)