Discomfort Intolerance Linked to Procrastination, Depressed Mood, Anxiety, etc. etc.

[acd]

Hmm. Define what you mean here by "easy."

Little or no resistance in dimensions that satisfy basic human needs? Or little or no resistance in all areas of life to you and you alone? Or little or no resistance in life for anyone, anywhere, at all ? The latter two sound more like pipe-dreams to me and I doubt that is what you were going for.

My point here is that a belief depends on how far an individual takes it and how that belief can either interfere with or enhance a present reality. And the beliefs that we're discussing are those that are hindering to an individual's quality of life by possibly introducing cognitivie dissonances that contribute to depression, anxiety, and other deeply disrupting conditions. If those beliefs are incongruent with the individual's present capacities and the practical application of that individual's goals, then yes, in this context, they can be said to be "irrational."

Yeah. Good question in response to my question. Haha! Personally, I would define an 'easy life' as one in which there is little to no resistance in dimensions that satisfy basic human necessities..Food, shelter, adequete medical care, an overall better quality of life because people aren't struggling to survive... a better system of allocating these things.

I may be totally off topic. But upon reading your OP, I just thought about people who have a difficult time surviving, and then it bothered me that there might be some who say it is irrational to believe that we can live in a world where people aren't starving and dying.. But I am a bit off topic.

 

[sassafras]

I may be totally off topic. But upon reading your OP, I just thought about people who have a difficult time surviving, and then it bothered me that there might be some who say it is irrational to believe that we can live in a world where people aren't starving and dying.. But I am a bit off topic.

You know, I figured that's what you were going for, and yes, I agree that such an assertion would be highly disturbing.

I suppose my mistake was not underscoring the fact that the points were made in the context of the article.

 

[sookie]

Ah, thanks for taking the time to elaborate but I still don't get what this has to do with Discomfort Intolerance, Procrastination, Anxiety or Depression, or frankly anything that has been discussed so far...

I am not sure how the example fits. Perhaps ENFP can be shy is trying to introduce the idea about how people with mental illness can have a very high Discomfort Intolerance. Oftentimes mental illness can exist along with with Anxiety and Depression.

I want to preface this by saying that I am not a counselor, or have a psychology background. This is what I know from the background and my experience as an educator.

Reactive Attachment Disorder(RAD) is something that I think is a little relavant to what we are talking about. RAD is a disorder that many sociopaths have when the are children. These are the kids with no empathy. I have worked in many school systems in 2 different states. I think I have seen kids with RAD first hand although I don't know if it had been formal diagnosis. Kids with RAD are the ones that hit hurt other kids and themselves. They don't do much school work. They may be some of the kids that are out of control when they are younger (there are many other reasons for behavior problems not just RAD).
They have tantrums and so many other behaviors.

What this has to do with the price of tea in China is that they are "triggered" by different things. When someone acts out there is usually a reason for it. In the classroom for any child who acts out there may be a reason for it. Maybe they are bothered by the flourescent lighting, or being with so many other people, doing the work is too hard, or they did not eat breakfast. There are endless reasons why kids, and adult for that matter act out. This has to do with discomfort intolerance, I think. Some people who can not tolerate discomfort will act out.

This is an interesting thread TDHT. Thank-you for starting it!

 

[sassafras]

By the vein, the presence of depression and anxiety can simply derive from a low discomfort tolerance, as it seems to be the common demoninator between those with mental illness and those without mental illness who experience these cases.

Depression and anxiety are two highly co-morbid conditions, which is why they are in fact so difficult to treat. Sometimes they can mask other underlying psychological issues, and yet, sometimes their development is circumstantial or biologically based. We all have a capacity for these conditions, just as we all have a capacity to experience low discomfort tolerance the longer we enforce avoidance behaviors that strengthen its development, for example. All these factors having a strong potential for high co-morbidity, and I severely doubt that anyone was trying to suggest that the presence of discomfort intolerance should automatically preclude mental illness... so again, I'm not really seeing the point of the sociopath example. Why mention it? What argument is being made? Is there an argument? If it is a discussion piece, what point of mine triggered it?

Or maybe I just need this thought-process laid out for me step by step.

 

[sookie]

I think that what I was trying to say was that not everyone that is anxious or depressed is a sociopath, not at all.

What I was trying to say is that if the conversation is about having a low frustration tolerance. Then I think, respectfully, introducing the idea of types of mental illness t where people do have extremely low frustration tolerance does broaden the discussion to society as a whole.

People who have RAD, people who are alcoholics and have addiction issues, these are examples, all are at risk of being 'triggered,' because they have a low frustration tolderance.

For example, I have trouble with overeating and smoking. I have a history of depression. I also have Attention Deficit Disorder. In my past, if someone is angry with me I will want a cigarrette, candy, or both (I am in the process of losing weight I have lost 30 pounds so far).

Now I am retraining my brain to rely on new habits in order to eliminate these behaviors. Chanting helps me tremendously. My mother who does not chant will tell me to chant when I am upset.

I also have trouble organizing my environment. This is ADD related and has added to depression. I have a low frustration tolerance with cleaning. This goes back to whaat I was saying earlier about when the brain operates cognitively or associatively.

Cognitively the brain can only do one thing at a time. I have experienced this with organizing. I am hypothesizing that with organizing my brain that is has this disorder has to focus much harder than other people's brains. A friend that has a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology told me that organizing for someone with ADD is like pulling a train with a rope in yourmouth while going uphill. She seemed to agree with my application of for some people with ADD (not all) organizing and doing mundane tasks can be hideously difficult. Other people can organize while doing many other things. These are people who are very effective at multitasking. Doing 5 things at once: filing, talking on the phone, picking up around the house. Someone like me- cant do this. I loose things or make tons of mistakes if I try.

I have been chanting alot and I got the idea of creating a schedule for myself. I break things down into the simplist task in and write it out. I reward myself with free time and by crossing out the task (so simple but I feel good when I cross things out). This is so that I can overcome this difficulty.

This has to do with this discussion:

1. Personally- I have a low frustration for cognitive tasks so I avoid.
Interestingly, when I write on the computer I can go into the state of
flow now. This was not the case when I was learning how to compose
essays and type, writing was cognitive and I avoided it.

This has added to bouts with depression because my difficulty with
frustration tolerance led to depression.

2. Anxiety and Depression: This can be biology and not other mental illness.
3. Serious Mental Illness: RAD as an example. At high risk (increased risk) than other
people for low frustration tolerance, which leads to extreme
destructive behaviors. I think that this relates to the
discussion. If you don't that is fine. We can agree to
disagree and continue to have lively discussions

I was really hesitating revealing this about my life personally: eating and smoking problems. I am confident that I will beat these problems and perhaps my adding this to the discussion will help someone else.

 

[54192&#cmy]

I think its interesting how many of us really have a hard time with procrastination, and how there seems to be a correlation between idealism and this tendency. At face value, it would make absolute sense. As idealists, we want the world to be ordered in a certain way and if conditions are not aligned to our specifications, subconsciously we feel like the whole undertaking is contaminated from the get-go. Particularly if we happen to be perfectionists or have other all-or-nothing tendencies, it's safe to say that this is exactly the point where we run into problems.

Research shows that an irrational belief that life should be easy and free of inconvenience is the unique indicator of procrastination tendencies. Then we have a chicken and an egg problem going on with whether procrastination promotes or derives from lower self-esteem, depression, anxiety, etc. etc. It's a difficult knot to untangle and many therapists actually approach the problem of procrastination by trying to address self-esteem... the theory being that if you raise self-esteem, you raise self-efficacy and actually encourage the patient to do the things they need to do when they're supposed to.

But the culprit behind the self-esteem and procrastination cycle may in fact be discomfort intolerance (a close cousin being Frustration Intolerance). How well do you tolerate uncomfortable situations? Do you think that being uncomfortable in a situation means that there is something wrong with you? That perhaps being uncomfortable is a sign of weakness, that "stronger" characters somehow experience the same situation with a lesser degree of pain?

Take a moment to read this excerpt and see if any of this rings true with you personally:



For a practical application of this theory, do you think that its possible that some of us may not have learned proper social skills because we couldn't bear the growing pains of learning these skills (although I'm sure this is not the case for everyone)?

What do you guys think? Does any of this ring true for you guys as it does for me?

Resources:
Article from Psychology Today

Procrastination and Tolerating Discomfort

Limiting Beliefs: Frustration Intolerance

I see where you are coming from. I can tell you that for me it was the rejection that others put on me that made me reject myself. Those little voices have compounded over the years. They have been added too by others and the more I heard the same things the more I hated myself for being myself. The wort part of my domestication was my own self rejection. As an adult I have been looking over my life to find the pain so I can fix the pain. Looking back on my life and the past events I have learned that I have been my own worst enemy in my life. I have also learned that with out suffering there is no life worth living. If you do not make a mistake ever in your life are you learning? I procrastinate and a lot of the time it is not a bad thing. I like to think things over then act. Sometimes its better to think than act for me. Am I working at my full potential of course not for me that is impossible. If my life is about making money and caring about what others think am I living my life or someone else s?

We are expected to be like everyone else today. We are supposed to be happy and smile all the time. I gotta tell ya seeing all those fake white teeth makes me sick now. People are so worried about their outward appearance they have forgotten about the inside. We are a product of our environments. So I choose now to create my own environment and pull those into my life that do the same as I do. Everyone thinks that being the same is great. I prefer to embrace all my flaws and love them because if I don't I don't love myself. Having and showing your flaws shows the world your human...

 

[lonelybadger]

I do have an irrational concept that life should be free and easy- I have no idea where I got it from. And life is never free, nor has it been easy, and I blame myself for this. There must be something wrong with me.

I think that this is a corollary of perfectionism. A friend of mine in high school once yelled in frustration "unless you're the best at something, you just don't bother, do you"? She was right. So I spend almost all of my time procrastinating ie. not bothering to start anything, for fear that I won't excel at it, and then feeling guilty for not trying. This guilt precludes enjoying anything on a normal level in the meantime, and the worry is immobilising: voila, depression/anxiety.

Even when I have achieved great things, they failed to bring me any sort of satisfaction, as I then feel I must maintain the excellence (exhausting) or the universe will implode. I allow myself no positive feedback from achievement, and thus, have no carrot to dangle in front of myself to encourage myself further. I sit and worry all bloody day long and achieve sweet FA. I sometimes wonder if this is an excuse for laziness. Having thus judged myself yet again, I exacerbate the situation and worsen my self-esteem. God, it's boring.

 

[sookie]

The posts are interesting. I try to improve on things that I enjoy even if I am bad at it. I was a terrible writer. I was a terrible artist. Hard work can take you to all sorts of interesting places and develope skills you did not think that you had.

 

[gloomy-optimist]

The posts are interesting. I try to improve on things that I enjoy even if I am bad at it. I was a terrible writer. I was a terrible artist. Hard work can take you to all sorts of interesting places and develope skills you did not think that you had.

This is the biggest truth that half of the population will never really understand or accept.

 

[sookie]

This is why I am becoming a special education teacher

 

[sassafras]

I think that what I was trying to say was that not everyone that is anxious or depressed is a sociopath, not at all.

Heehee. You didn't bring up the sociopath example. Enfpcanbeshy did, but in a manner that seemed to come out of left-field. I wasn't questioning the relevance of your points.

What I was trying to say is that if the conversation is about having a low frustration tolerance. Then I think, respectfully, introducing the idea of types of mental illness t where people do have extremely low frustration tolerance does broaden the discussion to society as a whole.

Certainly does.

People who have RAD, people who are alcoholics and have addiction issues, these are examples, all are at risk of being 'triggered,' because they have a low frustration tolderance.

For example, I have trouble with overeating and smoking. I have a history of depression. I also have Attention Deficit Disorder. In my past, if someone is angry with me I will want a cigarrette, candy, or both (I am in the process of losing weight I have lost 30 pounds so far).

Now I am retraining my brain to rely on new habits in order to eliminate these behaviors. Chanting helps me tremendously. My mother who does not chant will tell me to chant when I am upset.

I think you touch up on an important point here (perhaps implicitly, anyway) and that is self-awareness. Someone knowing that they're prone to low frustration or low discomfort intolerance (or both) is largely better off than someone who has no idea that this is their deal... and so they're grasping at solutions that are incongruent with what it is they're subconsciously telling themselves and thus, vulnerable to self-sabotaging behaviour.

I'm glad chanting works for you. Can you elaborate a little bit on this habit? What do you chant? How do you "catch yourself" in the negative thought pattern/behaviour that you've chosen to replace with chanting?

I also have trouble organizing my environment. This is ADD related and has added to depression. I have a low frustration tolerance with cleaning. This goes back to whaat I was saying earlier about when the brain operates cognitively or associatively.

A little off-topic here, but I thought you might find this tidbit personally useful. My father has ADD and little patience for any sort of detail, let alone cleaning. His office had always been a disaster and he could never, ever find anything. The idea of cleaning up right after he was done with whatever activity he was doing was just a mind-boggling chore to him. What helped him (and saved my mother and I our sanity) was installing a bed-time routine of tidying up his space for ten minutes and putting things that were out of place, away. For the first two weeks, we had to hound him to do it, but now that he has gotten the hang of it, he sees the benefit of being much less frazzled. See if that helps you too.

Cognitively the brain can only do one thing at a time. I have experienced this with organizing. I am hypothesizing that with organizing my brain that is has this disorder has to focus much harder than other people's brains. A friend that has a Doctorate in Counseling Psychology told me that organizing for someone with ADD is like pulling a train with a rope in yourmouth while going uphill. She seemed to agree with my application of for some people with ADD (not all) organizing and doing mundane tasks can be hideously difficult. Other people can organize while doing many other things. These are people who are very effective at multitasking. Doing 5 things at once: filing, talking on the phone, picking up around the house. Someone like me- cant do this. I loose things or make tons of mistakes if I try.

Definitely. The ADD brain is overstimulated, which is not a good thing for activities that require the regulatory focus of your executive functioning (such as multitasking). I always wondered why the drugs prescribed for ADD were stimulants, yet had a calming effect on these patients. Now I know they're meant to help the rest of your chemistry "catch up."

I have been chanting alot and I got the idea of creating a schedule for myself. I break things down into the simplist task in and write it out. I reward myself with free time and by crossing out the task (so simple but I feel good when I cross things out). This is so that I can overcome this difficulty.

Haha. My therapist had me doing this when I was coming out of depression and dealing with my GAD. At the time, I was misdiagnosed with Adult ADD because I was demonstrating a lot of the symptoms. It's amazing how many such disorders can overlap...

And how many of them demonstrate this issue of discomfort/frustration intolerance.

This is why I was so excited to share this article with you all and so glad to see that there are people who strongly relate. Maybe we can think of some ways to tackle these beliefs head on?

This has to do with this discussion:

LOL. Again, that question at the tail end of my previous post wasn't directed at you, sookie. Your points are perfectly relevant here. What I am still scratching my head about is where a sociopath and his cruelty to hundreds fits in. But I don't think I'm going to get an answer to this question, so I will give up here.

1. Personally- I have a low frustration for cognitive tasks so I avoid.
Interestingly, when I write on the computer I can go into the state of
flow now. This was not the case when I was learning how to compose
essays and type, writing was cognitive and I avoided it.

This has added to bouts with depression because my difficulty with
frustration tolerance led to depression.

I'm curious: Have you ever asked yourself why you must not feel frustration? Is it because you simply don't like it? (discomfort Intolerance) or is it because you think that being frustrated by such and such a task says something about you? ADD is obviously a big chunk of the puzzle that makes you prone to such feelings/thoughts, but have you ever broke them down?

You don't have to answer that in a post; it's more of a reflection question.

I was really hesitating revealing this about my life personally: eating and smoking problems. I am confident that I will beat these problems and perhaps my adding this to the discussion will help someone else.

And I'm sure you will beat them, sookie. You're aware of them as issues and it sounds like you're taking steps toward finding some solutions. Thanks for feeling comfortable enough to share.