Distinguishing INFJs from INFPs

:) Funny thing, people tell me I come off as cold too. I'm not really, it just takes me time to warm up to people. Except a few which I feel close to right away.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Chihiro was too...unsure.
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Chihiro became sure. The point to the film was her journey from insecure to self assured. What makes this film such a wonderful example is that it portrays that process for an INFP and for an INFJ.

Chihiro was overwhelmed and never had any trouble expressing it. But, just like an INFP, she kept pushing herself, and eventually she found her real confidence, and came out a very strong person because of it.

Haku was overwhelmed, yet unable to express it. But, just like an INFJ, he stayed on the path without really knowing why, and eventually he came to the answer he sought in an 'aha' moment.
 
^^ Yes :D I'm more like Haku with that prospective
 
And I'm more like Chihiro,I guess... Except I haven't finished my journey yet :)

I don't think I'm like Haku : I express emotions, I freak out... I think the reason people keep telling me they thought I was cold is not because of P/J function but E/I. Being introverted in a highly extraverted society causes some misunderstandings : People assume that because you don't spend a lot of time with others, you must think you're better than them (=stuck up) or are not interested in them (= cold). I guess it's hard to imagine that I can enjoy being with others but feel drained by it. That's my interpretation of my case anyway.

PS : Using Movie characters is great ! It's helpful to have concrete examples.
 
Von Hase said:
Chihiro became sure. The point to the film was her journey from insecure to self assured. What makes this film such a wonderful example is that it portrays that process for an INFP and for an INFJ.

Chihiro was overwhelmed and never had any trouble expressing it. But, just like an INFP, she kept pushing herself, and eventually she found her real confidence, and came out a very strong person because of it.

Haku was overwhelmed, yet unable to express it. But, just like an INFJ, he stayed on the path without really knowing why, and eventually he came to the answer he sought in an 'aha' moment.
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Good example. In this case, I identify with Chihiro. My life experiences have led me down a similiar path to self-assuredness as this anime character. Hmm. Yes.
 
merrytrees said:
Good example. In this case, I identify with Chihiro. My life experiences have led me down a similiar path to self-assuredness as this anime character. Hmm. Yes.
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*nods* I was fortunate enough to get to watch my dear INFP friend as she did the same.

I remember it distinctly, because if I had taken that path it would have been disastrous. I would have gone from lost, to more lost, to completely lost and I was very concerned for her. Yet, somehow, she pulled it all together into strength.

Unless I'm following the path as Haku did, I never get to my goal. I can tell from the things that she expresses concern about in my behaviors that my path would be just as disastrous for her.

She's learned to trust me much more often when I approach a problem in this manner, as I have her in hers, but we still wince a little from time to time. INFPs and INFJs are almost literal opposites - Ni Fe Ti Se vs. Fi Ne Si Te = we intuit inverted, we feel inverted, we think inverted, and we even sense inverted - and when the stakes are high, we have to approach the problems from our own perspectives. To use the others' would be toxic for us both.

It can certainly foster an admiration once we learn to trust that the other can do what we simply cannot.
 
Satya said:
INFJs live to study, survey, or carefully consider ideas and feelings.
The implication supersedes the reality.

Example of Ni Fe: "I will try to tolerate those who do not tolerate me so that they see I am worthy of tolerance."
Example of Ni: "Things are not as they could or should be."
Example of Fe: "How will my thinking affect others?"


INFPs live to distinguish, discriminate, or perceive the difference of ideas and feelings.
The reality supersedes the implication.

Example of Fi Ne: "I will only tolerate those who tolerate me because only those who can tolerate me are worthy of my tolerance."
Example of Ne: "Things are as they are."
Example of Fi: "How will the thinking of others affect me?"
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Yeah, I don't think this is accurate.

I'd go for:

Fi Ne: I will tolerate everyone unless they're truly intolerable for a reason that surpasses the simple standing in the way of my personal desire/ego. Expecially when they hurt others, or hurt the common good/purpose. (people who don't take projects seriously, etc)

Ne: Things could become like this... or like that... or like *that*.... ooo, or what if like this?

Fi: I wonder if my actions will lead other to be hurt... or lead them to perceive themselves as being hurt... either is bad, really.
 
I think that the difference between INFJ and INFP is absolutely fascinating.

My mum is an INFP and I'm an INFJ and our relationship is...weird. We can connect very well and share many similar interests and our conversations are usually deep and interesting (we DO share I,N and F).

However, the NiFe, FiNe difference is a subtle tear in our harmony. Oftentimes, I simply cannot forthelifeofme understand how she can be SO unaware of how she's affecting others! I'm not saying all INFPs are like this necessarily, but the FiNe leads her to think of her ideals and feelings as first and foremost ("I will only tolerate those who tolerate me because only those who can tolerate me are worthy of my tolerance"). I often think of her as self-centred and "in her own world." I'm in my own world most of the time, but I am acutely aware of how others around me are thinking. She just doesn't seem to care...which baffles me considerably at times.

Also, because of her Ne against my Ni, I often feel like she's not paying attention to my train of thought (or like she doesn't care about it). Knowing that her mind just jumps around a lot helps me to understand her a lot more and be more patient. Still, sometimes I wish she wouldn't change the subject so much when I really want to explore an idea :m133:

Hahaha...I kid (kind of) with the head-smashing. It's funny, though, that I'm the one who tends to get aggravated moreso than she ever does. I feel like if I didn't try hard to be patient and understanding to keep the peace, she'd never do the same. She's not the only INFP I've met, but she's the only one I've spend considerable amounts of time with. I feel bad basing all of my experiences of INFPs just on my relationship with my mother. I've noticed with the other INFPs I've met some of the same tendencies, but, again, I don't know them well enough to come to full conclusions on the matter.

Anyway, I guess MBTI is simply a guidline, not a definite set of rules for each person to follow :P
 
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Wow elysium, that sounds almost exactly like my mom. I wonder if she's INFP too.
 
That sounds a lot like that M-person who I shall not name.

For to say the name may summon the person......

*shiver*
 
What you said elysium reminds me of my INFP friend who really pisses me off. Or should I say an INFP I know?
 
alcyone said:
That sounds a lot like that M-person who I shall not name.

For to say the name may summon the person......

*shiver*
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tee-hee

I don't think so. M-person is pretty much locked out from here, and I am doubtful M-person has even thought of coming back for a long time.

And I agree.
 
elysium said:
I think that the difference between INFJ and INFP is absolutely fascinating.

My mum is an INFP and I'm an INFJ and our relationship is...weird. We can connect very well and share many similar interests and our conversations are usually deep and interesting (we DO share I,N and F).

However, the NiFe, FiNe difference is a subtle tear in our harmony. Oftentimes, I simply cannot forthelifeofme understand how she can be SO unaware of how she's affecting others! I'm not saying all INFPs are like this necessarily, but the FiNe leads her to think of her ideals and feelings as first and foremost ("I will only tolerate those who tolerate me because only those who can tolerate me are worthy of my tolerance"). I often think of her as self-centred and "in her own world." I'm in my own world most of the time, but I am acutely aware of how others around me are thinking. She just doesn't seem to care...which baffles me considerably at times.

Also, because of her Ne against my Ni, I often feel like she's not paying attention to my train of thought (or like she doesn't care about it). Knowing that her mind just jumps around a lot helps me to understand her a lot more and be more patient. Still, sometimes I wish she wouldn't change the subject so much when I really want to explore an idea :m133:

Hahaha...I kid (kind of) with the head-smashing. It's funny, though, that I'm the one who tends to get aggravated moreso than she ever does. I feel like if I didn't try hard to be patient and understanding to keep the peace, she'd never do the same. She's not the only INFP I've met, but she's the only one I've spend considerable amounts of time with. I feel bad basing all of my experiences of INFPs just on my relationship with my mother. I've noticed with the other INFPs I've met some of the same tendencies, but, again, I don't know them well enough to come to full conclusions on the matter.

Anyway, I guess MBTI is simply a guidline, not a definite set of rules for each person to follow :P
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Yeah, we can do that, can't we? I guess I'm not apologizing for all of INFP-kind here, but I definitely wish you all the luck in the world in your future with her.
 
I feel that the point of understanding one's type is to first understand where our shortcomings, and then to understand where others are coming from. What would change if your intuition told you that you were, without a doubt, an INFJ? Is that the needed closure you require for discovering your identity? I get the sense that most people in this forum already understand the theory well enough to make use of all that it entails, and really affirming your position in this theory means little. It's just a theory anyway. You probably got about 80% of the usefulness out of it the first time you read the type descriptions.

And this theory can only shed so much light on to your character. "An INFP is like all other INFPs, like some other INFPs, and like no other INFP."

Also, because these monkeys are absolutely adorable, I have to add one to my post:
:m023: Cheers!
 
Von Hase said:
I have almost strangled several people over the years because of this very thing, only to find out that they were ENTPs or ENFPs later. It still annoys the hell out of me, but now I know why they what if.

How ironic is that?!

Edit: Though I have to say, the ENTP and ENFP what if machine guns are quite possibly the most annoying human traits in the universe. Not only can they not stop what iffing, they have to blurt it out at obnoxious speed so no one can interrupt them while they are interrupting everyone else. At one point, I had to offer an ENFP "a nice hot cup of shut the hell up". Needless to say, that didn't go over well at all.
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Sorry to derail this a bit. But Yes Von I must agree with you. Over and over again.

I have a friend who is INTP with a strong tendency towards E. And my god he almost seems like a watered down ENTP. Alll the subject changes and the what ifs......

That has to be some of the most annoying conversations I ever had. I really vaule him but ya I just want to tell him STFU sometimes.


:m179:
 
Von Hase said:
In my own experience...

INFPs have very strong feelings that motivate them to all of their actions and are prone to feeling very strongly whatever it is that they are feeling, whether happy, sad, bored, or blah. They also have an intuition that explodes one truth into all of its possibilities (note this does not lead to the impossibilities), but what insights they come to are secondary to their feelings and if they disagree, the INFP will favor their emotions.

INFJs have an intuition that implodes all possibilities into a single truth and they follow this almost implicitly, even if their own emotions are forced to be secondary. They also have strong convictions that make them very senstive but seem sturdy emotionally outwardly.

I hope this helps.
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Awesome description, Von Hase. Thanks! This deffinately puts me in the INFP category. And I'm typing in my sleep, must go to bed, please forgive the typoooos.
 
gloomy-optimist said:
Chihiro was too...unsure. I can be pretty self-conscious and confused, but I never show it. I'd say my actions would be similar to Chihiro's in some ways, but they would be more decisive and more self-assured. When I don't know what I'm doing, then I make people think I that I do. So I'd appear and act more like Haku, at least once I got established
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All I'll say is:
I would've taken the stairs, not run across a drain pipe.

But I do see how INFJs tend to think more of how they affect others rather than INFPs who think about how they are affected. Both seem like they could be arrogant without control over that thinking (INFJ: 'I can control people!', INFP: 'People always make me lose!')
I don't think I have any INFP friends (though I'm not 100% sure, there is a guy I know who seems a bit INFP-ish) but I have known people who initially came off as INFP when I talked to them/listened to them.
There is a big difference as they don't seem as lost as INFJs.
 
elysium said:
...However, the NiFe, FiNe difference is a subtle tear in our harmony. Oftentimes, I simply cannot forthelifeofme understand how she can be SO unaware of how she's affecting others! I'm not saying all INFPs are like this necessarily, but the FiNe leads her to think of her ideals and feelings as first and foremost ("I will only tolerate those who tolerate me because only those who can tolerate me are worthy of my tolerance"). I often think of her as self-centred and "in her own world." I'm in my own world most of the time, but I am acutely aware of how others around me are thinking. She just doesn't seem to care...which baffles me considerably at times.

Also, because of her Ne against my Ni, I often feel like she's not paying attention to my train of thought (or like she doesn't care about it). ...
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WOW! You've just described me and my mom perfectly! LOL
 
Hmmm, well, apparently one of my friends tested as an INFP.
Now it's quite easy for me to see a difference between INFPs and INFJs ^^"
 
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