[INFJ] Do any of you guys have depression/anxiety?

sprinkles said:
Why do you ask that like stuff never happens at 13?

There are also no "short term bouts" of PTSD. If you think that then you probably didn't actually have it.

Being freaked out and afraid, stressed and anxious after an event is not unusual and is not a disorder. However if it's an especially bad but still short term response, there's another term for that, which is called Acute Stress Disorder which carries many of the same symptoms of PTSD, but is more temporary.
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I still have it, but the triggers are manageable to the point that it doesn't really affect me any more.

As for my question, it was about HOW someone so young came to have it.

*Another post answering time-wasting pedantic remarks*
 
Flavus Aquila said:
I still have it, but the triggers are manageable to the point that it doesn't really affect me any more.

As for my question, it was about HOW someone so young came to have it.

*Another post answering time-wasting pedantic remarks*
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Sounds like defensive backpedalling to me. I called you up on something and you're trying to pretend now that it wasn't a thing.

You didn't simply ask "How did you get PTSD?" and you know damn well that you didn't. Otherwise you wouldn't have added "in the world" which tied to your specific mention of the age heavily implies astonishment or perhaps incredulity that something happened at that age specifically. You could have wrote it another way but you didn't and you know exactly what you were doing.

I shouldn't even have to tell you because you know. But now you know I know you know.
 
The world has changed drastically over the last 100 years...its like things are speeding up

I think the world now is a far more complex and difficult place for youngsters than it used to be

I also think that there is a stage between the teenage years and young adulthood which is particularly difficult for folks these days because it is a time in life where people have to take on greater responsiblities but don't yet have the experience to know how best to deal with different situations; this makes it a very uncertain and potentially anxious time

Here's a couple of mainstream news articles about the challenges faced by young people these days. if nothing else they can hopefully help show that the problem doesn't necesarily lie with the individual and that at least a person can then unburden themself of any sense of guilt, shame or failure and realise that there are wider things at play here that are affecting many people

Once you know that though it is still necesary to try to navigate a way through the world which will suit you and that process can often be a case of trial and error and learning form mistakes

If a person has been through traumatic experiences then perhaps the best thing is to speak to a therapist and to try to work through things

No wonder children today are depressed: http://www.express.co.uk/comment/co...459063/No-wonder-children-today-are-depressed

Generation stress: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/child-depression-scandal-ill-kids-3129996
 
I have situational anxiety. I use things like working out and going for long walks to combat it. It has been worse this winter since I've been cooped up. So I've been doing things like making magnets and getting crafty. It tends to help with anxiety. I know this might sound weird but doing homework helps with anxiety for me. It helps me focus and get organized. When I've very stressed out and anxious, I do pull out my eyebrow hairs. It's only ever been my eyebrow hairs.... idk why.
 
muir said:
The world has changed drastically over the last 100 years...its like things are speeding up

I think the world now is a far more complex and difficult place for youngsters than it used to be

I also think that there is a stage between the teenage years and young adulthood which is particularly difficult for folks these days because it is a time in life where people have to take on greater responsiblities but don't yet have the experience to know how best to deal with different situations; this makes it a very uncertain and potentially anxious time

Here's a couple of mainstream news articles about the challenges faced by young people these days. if nothing else they can hopefully help show that the problem doesn't necesarily lie with the individual and that at least a person can then unburden themself of any sense of guilt, shame or failure and realise that there are wider things at play here that are affecting many people

Once you know that though it is still necesary to try to navigate a way through the world which will suit you and that process can often be a case of trial and error and learning form mistakes

If a person has been through traumatic experiences then perhaps the best thing is to speak to a therapist and to try to work through things

No wonder children today are depressed: http://www.express.co.uk/comment/co...459063/No-wonder-children-today-are-depressed

Generation stress: http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/child-depression-scandal-ill-kids-3129996
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It is definitely a very stressful time for kids and families and especially those that are between childhood and adulthood like you mentioned. I have a 20 year old son who has anxiety and went through a depression last year. He plays a lot of video games and he tells me that it's his escape because it is the only place he feels a success. He can win in the video games but he feels that he can't win in his life. It's sad. I try to help him out but he really needs a good mentor and role model because he's heard enough from 'mom' in the last 20 years. I still try to push him gently because I can't just not do something. He used to be in great shape but now he never exercises. He needs to get out and do physical activity again. I strongly believe that the lack of physical activity is probably the number one reason that kids have more anxiety and depression now.
 
La Sagna said:
It is definitely a very stressful time for kids and families and especially those that are between childhood and adulthood like you mentioned. I have a 20 year old son who has anxiety and went through a depression last year. He plays a lot of video games and he tells me that it's his escape because it is the only place he feels a success. He can win in the video games but he feels that he can't win in his life. It's sad. I try to help him out but he really needs a good mentor and role model because he's heard enough from 'mom' in the last 20 years. I still try to push him gently because I can't just not do something. He used to be in great shape but now he never exercises. He needs to get out and do physical activity again. I strongly believe that the lack of physical activity is probably the number one reason that kids have more anxiety and depression now.
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I think physical activity is important but also getting vitamin D from getting the sun on your skin as well as fresh air in your lungs.

Computer games are so lifelike now they offer an alternative reality almost

Has your son ever talked about any skills or activities he fancied trying or learning? They can often be good for confidence and self esteem
 
muir said:
I think physical activity is important but also getting vitamin D from getting the sun on your skin as well as fresh air in your lungs.

Computer games are so lifelike now they offer an alternative reality almost

Has your son ever talked about any skills or activities he fancied trying or learning? They can often be good for confidence and self esteem
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He's in college to be a Child and Youth worker and he did very well in his placement but doesn't like the schoolwork. In the old days people could get into a career starting at the bottom and learning the ropes as they moved up but now everybody is supposed to have a degree. I'm all for education but not everybody is meant to study from a book, some people are better to learn on the job but the opportunity is not there anymore. The fact that he is in college is his saving grace because I've been tempted to kick him out a few times. He's an ISTP and he needs stimulation but he should be getting it from the real world, sports and such, but instead he gets it from video games.

I talked to some counsellors because I don't know if I should take away his video games but I was told that it wasn't a good idea because it is an escape for him. I have always been hesitant of doing that anyways because I strongly believe that people have to learn to self-monitor themselves and being forced to stop something doesn't teach them to do that. I was very strict about video games when he was young. My kids didn't get video games until they were much older than most but we went through a difficult time after my mother died suddenly and he was very close to her. One day he set fire to the garage for a thrill and all of a sudden video games didn't seem so bad so I let him play much more than before because I was afraid of what kind of trouble he was going to get into. I don't know if it was the right thing or not, maybe, maybe not. He is addicted to video games but he doesn't do drugs and barely drinks so it definitely could be much worse.

He has learning disabilities and he has worked very hard for things just to have them taken away from him so he feels like he has no luck. He worked really hard to be on the biathlon team and there was only spaces for two and he came in third. He was in such good shape for that. I think he gave up on trying after that. He's had a lot of setbacks through no fault of his own so I do feel bad for him, but he can also be really lazy so that is frustrating.

It's really difficult for me to deal with this because I really want to help him but it's a real balancing act between being proactive to help him and letting him be so he can learn on his own. I had to learn to detach form him to a certain degree.

Going back to the fact that people could start at the bottom in the past and move up in a company, I really believe that is part of the reason that CEOs are so out of touch. I think when people used to start in the mailroom and work their way up to being president of a company they could understand their employees and empathize with them but now that they come out of an MBA program and often from a well-off family they are completely out of touch with the real world.
 
La Sagna said:
He's in college to be a Child and Youth worker and he did very well in his placement but doesn't like the schoolwork. In the old days people could get into a career starting at the bottom and learning the ropes as they moved up but now everybody is supposed to have a degree. I'm all for education but not everybody is meant to study from a book, some people are better to learn on the job but the opportunity is not there anymore. The fact that he is in college is his saving grace because I've been tempted to kick him out a few times. He's an ISTP and he needs stimulation but he should be getting it from the real world, sports and such, but instead he gets it from video games.

I talked to some counsellors because I don't know if I should take away his video games but I was told that it wasn't a good idea because it is an escape for him. I have always been hesitant of doing that anyways because I strongly believe that people have to learn to self-monitor themselves and being forced to stop something doesn't teach them to do that. I was very strict about video games when he was young. My kids didn't get video games until they were much older than most but we went through a difficult time after my mother died suddenly and he was very close to her. One day he set fire to the garage for a thrill and all of a sudden video games didn't seem so bad so I let him play much more than before because I was afraid of what kind of trouble he was going to get into. I don't know if it was the right thing or not, maybe, maybe not. He is addicted to video games but he doesn't do drugs and barely drinks so it definitely could be much worse.

He has learning disabilities and he has worked very hard for things just to have them taken away from him so he feels like he has no luck. He worked really hard to be on the biathlon team and there was only spaces for two and he came in third. He was in such good shape for that. I think he gave up on trying after that. He's had a lot of setbacks through no fault of his own so I do feel bad for him, but he can also be really lazy so that is frustrating.

It's really difficult for me to deal with this because I really want to help him but it's a real balancing act between being proactive to help him and letting him be so he can learn on his own. I had to learn to detach form him to a certain degree.

Going back to the fact that people could start at the bottom in the past and move up in a company, I really believe that is part of the reason that CEOs are so out of touch. I think when people used to start in the mailroom and work their way up to being president of a company they could understand their employees and empathize with them but now that they come out of an MBA program and often from a well-off family they are completely out of touch with the real world.
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Yeah study can be boring if you're not gripped by the subject matter

This is why skills are good...because they are immediate. You are there, in the moment, doing something....and where is 'life'? Its not in the future, its not when you've paid off your debts or your mortgage or when you've got such and such qualification...its there, in the moment...that's where life is

Kids want to feel alive, to feel vital, to feel imediate....thats what computer games give them

Computer games are a skill...they're just not a skill anyones going to pay you for

Its a case of finding a skill that you enjoy and then it all grows from there. But a skill brings you into the moment, it requires immediate focus and provides tangible results and hopefully lasting satisfaction

If he's good at biathlon had he thought about getting involved in working in the outdoors in some capacity?
 
I suffered with PTSD for a number of years. I thought I was going insane so I didn't want talk about it and just learned to deal with it. Most of the symptoms have been resolved, but there are still certain triggers which cause anxiety.
 
Anxiety big time...in a few areas. I don't feel depressed about it anymore though so I feel I function quite well and can empathise with others when they're struggling.

I need to take my time and feel entitled to the things I have earned. When I feel I have no leverage, even when I do, I panic and miscommunicate. There is so much I think about, I don't always know what is relevant to draw on at a given time. So, I need a moment to think to be my best. I just have to allow myself that.
 
muir said:
Yeah study can be boring if you're not gripped by the subject matter

This is why skills are good...because they are immediate. You are there, in the moment, doing something....and where is 'life'? Its not in the future, its not when you've paid off your debts or your mortgage or when you've got such and such qualification...its there, in the moment...that's where life is

Kids want to feel alive, to feel vital, to feel imediate....thats what computer games give them

Computer games are a skill...they're just not a skill anyones going to pay you for

Its a case of finding a skill that you enjoy and then it all grows from there. But a skill brings you into the moment, it requires immediate focus and provides tangible results and hopefully lasting satisfaction

If he's good at biathlon had he thought about getting involved in working in the outdoors in some capacity?
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I think you are right about the skill and about video games providing that.

He used to be involved in a lot of outdoor activity but he has lost touch with the friends he used to do those with and he doesn't really want to do anything with us. That's another problem at that age, when the kids get out of high school they end up studying in different towns and moving on to different things so their social network (the real life one that is, not the online one) can disperse. I don't mind his friends now and at least he has friends but they are also video game crazy so that's all he does with them, that and some card game.

He really needs somebody else than me to help motivate him. I'm trying to encourage him to go away to work in a summer camp. I think it would be really good for him.
 
La Sagna said:
I think you are right about the skill and about video games providing that.

He used to be involved in a lot of outdoor activity but he has lost touch with the friends he used to do those with and he doesn't really want to do anything with us. That's another problem at that age, when the kids get out of high school they end up studying in different towns and moving on to different things so their social network (the real life one that is, not the online one) can disperse. I don't mind his friends now and at least he has friends but they are also video game crazy so that's all he does with them, that and some card game.

He really needs somebody else than me to help motivate him. I'm trying to encourage him to go away to work in a summer camp. I think it would be really good for him.
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A summer camp would probably help with confidence. A change of scene is often good to breathe a bit of life back into things

Are there any clubs doing the outdoor stuff he likes to do? They could be a good way to meet people with a shared interest

By biathlon do you mean skiing and shooting?
 
muir said:
A summer camp would probably help with confidence. A change of scene is often good to breathe a bit of life back into things

Are there any clubs doing the outdoor stuff he likes to do? They could be a good way to meet people with a shared interest

By biathlon do you mean skiing and shooting?
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Yes, the biathlon was skiing and shooting. He was in the Army Cadets for 4 years, which is where he learned to do that. It was really good for him because they did lots of outdoor stuff like camping, canoeing and skiing. He quit the cadets when he didn't make the biathlon team. I think he felt totally defeated because he had worked so hard. He also did cross-country ski racing with his best friend in high-school who moved for school and he doesn't see anymore.

I spent quite a lot of time looking up things that I thought might interest him but whenever I suggest anything he says he's not interested. I bought him a membership at the gym and encouraged him to do that but that lasted only a short time. He really needs a change of scene and that includes getting away from me, not that I'm bad for him, but I think he would pay more attention to me if he only saw me everyone once in awhile instead of most days. Now I think I'm just part of the furniture most of the time.

I have faith that something will help him to head in the right direction. He's not totally off course now just zigzagging a lot on the way there I think.
 
La Sagna said:
Yes, the biathlon was skiing and shooting. He was in the Army Cadets for 4 years, which is where he learned to do that. It was really good for him because they did lots of outdoor stuff like camping, canoeing and skiing. He quit the cadets when he didn't make the biathlon team. I think he felt totally defeated because he had worked so hard. He also did cross-country ski racing with his best friend in high-school who moved for school and he doesn't see anymore.

I spent quite a lot of time looking up things that I thought might interest him but whenever I suggest anything he says he's not interested. I bought him a membership at the gym and encouraged him to do that but that lasted only a short time. He really needs a change of scene and that includes getting away from me, not that I'm bad for him, but I think he would pay more attention to me if he only saw me everyone once in awhile instead of most days. Now I think I'm just part of the furniture most of the time.

I have faith that something will help him to head in the right direction. He's not totally off course now just zigzagging a lot on the way there I think.
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Yeah its difficult figuring out a direction in life. I just had to try different things and eventually a plan came together!

Has he thought about guiding in the outdoors? Guiding people into the mountains or teaching skiing?

There are guiding qualifications for canoeing, skiing, rock climbing etc

There are ways to get started for example i think some outdoor centres take people on as volunteers or in certain job roles like helping with the stores or whatever. They can then accompany other guides out on days out with clients so he could get a feel for it

Its a varied life where people can dip in and out of different activites and also where there is a clear career progression. It also has a social scene and lifestyle attached!

Skiing can also be a ticket to some pretty cool stuff eg working in a resort for a winter
 
muir said:
Yeah its difficult figuring out a direction in life. I just had to try different things and eventually a plan came together!

Has he thought about guiding in the outdoors? Guiding people into the mountains or teaching skiing?

There are guiding qualifications for canoeing, skiing, rock climbing etc

There are ways to get started for example i think some outdoor centres take people on as volunteers or in certain job roles like helping with the stores or whatever. They can then accompany other guides out on days out with clients so he could get a feel for it

Its a varied life where people can dip in and out of different activites and also where there is a clear career progression. It also has a social scene and lifestyle attached!

Skiing can also be a ticket to some pretty cool stuff eg working in a resort for a winter
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You've got me sold. Sounds good to me. Now if I could just convince him of some of this stuff.
 
La Sagna said:
You've got me sold. Sounds good to me. Now if I could just convince him of some of this stuff.
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Can you put it to him in such a way that it seems like it is coming form him already...because the young can sometimes be reflexively wary of any adult input

So for example saying: ''you have a love already of skiing and the outdoors, maybe you could use those skills?'' Then if he showed interest you could expand gently on it but with an emphasis on the fact that it would only be an extension of what he has already chosen to do for himself
 
muir said:
Can you put it to him in such a way that it seems like it is coming form him already...because the young can sometimes be reflexively wary of any adult input

So for example saying: ''you have a love already of skiing and the outdoors, maybe you could use those skills?'' Then if he showed interest you could expand gently on it but with an emphasis on the fact that it would only be an extension of what he has already chosen to do for himself
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I kind of try to do that. Right now I'm just trying to get him to apply for summer camp jobs and hopefully he gets one and enjoys it. For the skiing I think he would need to have someone in his life that he likes and who goes skiing and invites him. He doesn't want to do thing with his mom so it can't be me. He wouldn't even come camping with us last summer so I think it has to be someone from outside the family.

Thanks for the advice. It's good but I think he might be past that kind of influence from me. That's what's so hard about that age, if he was 15 I would have more influence over him but at 20 even if he's immature and needs guidance he's past wanting to listen to what his parents have to say.

He will likely be living on his own or with a friend soon, so even though I worry about that, I think it might be the best thing for him.
 
My depression was much worse during my teen years. I don't have depression much anymore. Once in a blue moon, maybe when I am alone for too long? Which doesn't happen too often. I have a little anxiety every now and then. But I feel as if I keep going out of my comfort zone, that will help me in dealing with that :)
 
What!? Depression and no suicidal tendencies how boring! Now I am depressed... :(

Why man whyyyy! ;_;
 
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