Do INFJs stay single longer than other personality types?

[Boots]

I think they’re perfectionist and sensitive, so I don’t think they can last in relationships long. That and they tend to try different people out and willing to experience new things. I wouldn’t be surprised if they are more single than other types

Also, other people might not know how to deal with them initially, and it takes time. I had to friend an INFJ for an entire year and then pursue for 6 weeks or so just to get into an eight month relationship where everything was high stakes poker. Big drain! Every little misstep nearly derailed the whole thing because of the perfectionism and sensitivity of the INFJ. They are also very needy comparatively

I also notice they like everything to build slowly and step by step in a linear fashion. The slowly thing is okay, I have patience, but the step by step only moving forward stuff would drive me nuts. Like it’s okay to revisit something and modify. Perfection or whatever that is called is a giant pain in the ass

I want to make a bet that the reason your INFJ treated you like high stakes was that you made her feel "unsafe." She observed and analyzed you, both your conscious and subconscious behaviors, and she didn't like what she assessed so it made her on edge.

An INFJ who is in a mutually loving and trusting relationship is by far the most devoted, easy-going, mentally stimulating, and fun person to be around.

 

[Roses In The Vineyard]

Staying single isn't a bad thing contrary to what people think and feel these days but the real problem is that people these days dive into then crash out of relationships that shouldn't have never been. I do wish things had been different from what they are where quality over quantity as people treat each be it friendships and relationships as replaceable that there is little or no need to invest in any capacity but worse when one just takes then moves on.

 

[mintoots]

Some people dive into relationships wishing luck would be on their side, luck isn't. We either match well with love or we don't. As an INFJ, I'm finding I love well and I match well with friends, but I don't match well with love. Go figure. Too intense, I suppose. So, meh. Whatever. Single is single. Partners have partners. It's being alive either way. It's the same suffering.

 

[JennyDaniella]

I believe INFJs are one of those types that does value being single for quite an extended time after a relationship. I myself have been single for nearly three years since breaking it off with my ex-fiance. Like you, I do get asked frequently if I am dating anyone and met with confusion and pity; but I am pretty content where I am at right now.

If I don't get into a relationship this year, I am totally fine with it. I am not seeking anyone right now at the moment. I suppose I am a believer in if it happens, it will happen at the right timing.



INFJs in a sense are a bit perfectionistic when it comes to relationships, but I honestly find that's how it is supposed to be. It's funny, some of my friends who tell me that I need to lower my standards are usually the ones that are struggling within their relationship and always settle for people who treat them like shit, and then they wonder why I don't take their advice.

Oh and I forgot to mention, some of them looooove casual relationships and flings; I am not into that sort of thing. I only had two intimate very serious relationships, whereas my friends are in the dozens range on the amount of men they slept with. I can't comprehend how they get into relationships so quickly and can handle that emotional roller-coaster in entering and breaking relationships so suddenly.. it's unhealthy. I love my friends dearly, but dear lord....

Relationships are hard-work, why settle for someone less? Everyone deserves to be in a loving and healthy relationship.

So you aren't alone at all in this case. INFJs typically enjoy being single for quite some time and value serious and meaningful relationships. Unfortunately though, like you said, we REALLY do have to like a person to consider being in a relationship with them. But that's how it should be. Some people get into relationships so quickly without having the time to really the know the other person and test the waters. Fortunately, some couples do last but others... not so much.

I still echo this particular sentiment from last year, probably even more so now that I am in a committed healthy relationship. Funny enough, this was a month before I met my current partner and wasn’t looking for a relationship at the time.

Will stress this, INFJs generally value healthy, long-term relationships. Short-term flings nor casual relationships doesn’t interest us in the slightest, and we take our time with the dating process since we take love quite seriously and if we feel in any way that the other person isn’t in the same stance or seriousness as we are, we move on. Will admit it’s a bit of perfectionism, but settling for less isn’t something we INFJs want. And why would you want to settle in a relationship with someone who doesn’t meet your values in terms of love, respect, loyalty, devotion and commitment? Love isn’t a game where you toy with someone’s feelings, time and energy.

Which I think is why many INFJs choose to remain single for a while due to our high-values in terms of relationships.