Do INFJs

I can't say it's true for everyone, but I do... and they usually go unanswered (they're very subtle and easily missed). It's like I kind of want some feedback/attention, but I don't (contradictory, I know)... and I'm a bit upset if I don't get anything back.
 
Endersgone said:
I can't say it's true for everyone, but I do... and they usually go unanswered (they're very subtle and easily missed). It's like I kind of want some feedback/attention, but I don't (contradictory, I know)... and I'm a bit upset if I don't get anything back.
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Yep, couldn't have said it better myself.
 
i am no longer subtle when i feel i need attention or consideration. i long ago realized that no one is concerned with whether i am more sensitive than they are. if i need it i have to let it be known.
 
Cuz I'm concerned about a young-ish forum member about something rather specific I noticed about them, but I don't know if they'd be offended or think I'm stalking them or being nosey if I ask them about it in private. It seems like something they'd have the capability to get help for if they wanted to, but it might be one of those things where people don't feel like caring about themselves until they see someone else notice and care? Sorry, I can't really get into too much detail.
 
Rule #1 of the Internet - Don't analyze people on it... it can be a scary place! :D
 
Endersgone said:
I can't say it's true for everyone, but I do... and they usually go unanswered (they're very subtle and easily missed). It's like I kind of want some feedback/attention, but I don't (contradictory, I know)... and I'm a bit upset if I don't get anything back.
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So if thats the case with this person... how do I respond to that? >_> "Hi I noticed this? Lol bye" ?
 
niffer said:
So if thats the case with this person... how do I respond to that? >_> "Hi I noticed this? Lol bye" ?
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I think what I want (deep down) is just a little sympathy/understanding during these moments. If you let it pass by and do nothing, I'll probably be a bit irritated. My hints are personal though-> I don't do it ambiguously... I'll let you know (in a very subtle way) if I want help.
 
niffer said:
So if thats the case with this person... how do I respond to that? >_> "Hi I noticed this? Lol bye" ?
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That's good enough for me. You automatically showed that you are thoughtful, caring...willing to help.
 
You could just say that you noticed something that seems concerning to you. And just be honest and say you felt hesitant about saying anything at all because you weren't sure how he/she would take it. Then say "K bai!" cuz it sounds funny. :smile:
 
skippy64 said:
You could just say that you noticed something that seems concerning to you. And just be honest and say you felt hesitant about saying anything at all because you weren't sure how he/she would take it. Then say "K bai!" cuz it sounds funny. :smile:
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I'm not gona lie..that made me lol. ^^

But yeah niffer, just do it. =)
 
niffer said:
So if thats the case with this person... how do I respond to that? >_> "Hi I noticed this? Lol bye" ?
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Mention it but don't make a big deal about it. Be all like "That was really kewl the way you punched that guy for me" and then leave it.
 
niffer said:
So if thats the case with this person... how do I respond to that? >_> "Hi I noticed this? Lol bye" ?
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lol well.... Usually if I see people crying out for attention, even if in a subtle way I will NOT be subtle about calling them out on it and saying what I've noticed. Either they can refute what I'm saying and explain their words/behaviour, or they'll open the flood gates about the issue. If they want to be offended because you were concerned about them then that's their issue to deal with, not yours.
 
IRL no I don't. I have no problem telling people what I need from them.

However, on internet forums I like to sometimes drop subtle cryptic messages about something private going on in my life, but I don't usually need things from strangers.
 
Yep.
Subtle, or not subtle. Usually I expected -- some kind of reaction, at least. I want to know whether I am being...anything. Right, wrong, outrageous or not, in danger...anything.

Depending on the subject matter (how deep is the problem? How close are you?) what others said (simple acknowledgement) would do, up to gentle prodding.
 
The general thought is, if you're comfortable asking an INFJ how he/she is doing, go for it. I think INFJ's like interaction. But if they don't trust you or don't feel compatible with you, they're only going to be open with you up to a point. And if you push for deeper interaction, they'll withdraw from you - at least, this is my style of drawing boundaries. (If necessary, I would withdraw indefinitely.) In general, I think INFJ's dislike any level of judgmentalism, incompatibility, or disapproval. They may humor you to the extent that they want interaction, but they will keep their distance until they deem otherwise. Tolerate an INFJ's need for privacy and compatible friendships. Don't force your care on someone, but by all means, if you care, then I see no reason to go ahead, but don't expect them to want your level of care.

If your agenda is to "prod" them to get help, you're really doing more psychological harm than good.

From my experience, INFJ's will seek help from the people they trust, even if they need help and haven't found the support they need. They like non-intrusive, friendly, consistent interaction. Don't try very hard to ask them about personal questions, because they will share when they are ready to share. Period.
 
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