Do we need rebellion or conflict to grow or mature?

[Gaze]

Matter of correction. People don't learn from making decisions. People learn from experiencing bad results.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this one

 

[Gaze]

tbh, i think many people survive, grow, mature, or thrive inspite of conflict or pain, not necessarily because of it.

Interesting perspective. What makes you think that?

The fact that it's true?

 

[acd]

http://www.massgeneral.org/children/adolescenthealth/articles/aa_independence_and_rebellion.aspx

Prior to adolescence, children usually abide by rules set by parents. As a teen initiates the physical and emotional changes of adolescence, the reach for independence frequently leads to a teen resisting rules rather than complying with them. One may think of the force to comply and the force to resist. A teen who is seeking independence may seek resistance as part of the normal evolution toward independence. Of course the family needs cooperation and interdependence among members to function smoothly. Resistance by the teen as part of emotional development may be perceived as rebellion by parents. This sets parents and teens at odds with each other.

Some researchers feel that teens who are reared in excessively strict or excessively permissive environments may have disadvantages compared to those who are raised in a more flexible but firm setting. In order to prevent chaos, rules are important for any organization including the family; however, excessive rules may not only be difficult to enforce with adolescents, but they may cause an even higher state of rebellion.

It may be different in other cultures.

Of course, in our culture it's rebellion within reason.. like dying your hair green or staying out after curfew... or developing strong oppositional ideals or opinions of one's parents and then wanting to debate about them... I'm not talking like, getting knocked up or addicted to drugs or drunk driving or something self destructive.

There's some difference between self destructing and being rebellious..
Just because one is rebelling does not mean they are self-destructing.

 

[Trifoilum]

tbh, i think many people survive, grow, mature, or thrive inspite of conflict or pain, not necessarily because of it.

Agreed. The point I would like to add is, the way they grow would be different. Someone who 'rebelled' via avoiding curfew most likely would experience different experiences if they chose to run away instead. Or joining a political group. Or engaged into drugs. Or all of them. And we're not even talking about those who rebelled and those who don't...

And rebelling doesn't have to be engaging into crimes or indecent actions; simply deviating from what's 'expected' is also, in a sense, rebelling

But rebelling grows a sense of individualism, a sense of standing by yourself.

Of couuurse, moderation within everything, including moderation.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

Rebellion and conflict seem to become necessary from time to time. In many groups/societies it seems that personal boundaries are slowly eroded away, until intollerable situations are taken as the norm. When this is realised it becomes necessary to overthrow a corrupt/unhealthy way of relating. This can be done without conflict, but most superiors find letting go of illegitimate rights difficult, making conflict inevitable.

In families, however, it seems necessary for teens to rebel, because a transition from child/adult relations to adult/adult relations is necessary if good life skills are going to be tested/practiced/experimented in a safe environment. Some parents and children are mature and can make this transition without conflict - other parents cannot relinquish a pattern of how they treat their children, making conflict almost inevitable.

 

[Inquisitive]

I don

 

[Barnabas]

While I believe you can grow from being rebellious I can't fathom it being the most efficient way of growing(physically or personally). I can understand the need to rebel if your in a situation that demands it, but most of the time I think it would work better if teens learned to be more submissive.

Green hair and stay after curfew seem more like being obstinate then promoting self growth as generally the parents have good reason to say no to these kind of things.

 

[Zero Angel]

In the context of growing up, I think that some degree of rebellion is healthy. It teaches us to be independent.

In the context of interpersonal relationships, growth is sometimes accomplished through conflict or disagreement -- and in a sense it may help to increase our sense of personal power (metaphysics: root chakra). However most kinds of conflict (particularly ego driven) very rarely improve a person.